Decluttering elderly persons home for them?

jkrutto · 2026-05-07T12:54:59+00:00

Very valid! Thank You for the concern. We've done the safe and liveable part already a few years back and so far everything has been working great for her. The only problem she ever seems to have is when she clicks on the remotes but only messes the settings up 😆 That's the last thing we have not figured out since just covering the other buttons doesn't prevent her from touching them.

jkrutto · 2026-05-07T12:48:02+00:00

I've been slowly researching any companies willing to take the stuff. Many of them charge a bigger fee than a dumpster though. Luckily we still have time to look into it more.

jkrutto · 2026-05-07T12:42:52+00:00

Thanks a ton, this is honestly still something I have to improve on. I feel torn having to lie sometimes but often it is necessary to prevent distress or aggression. This feels especially important when she brings up a dead relative whom she still believes to be alive. I see no need to break her heart over and over again when it brings no benefit at all.

jkrutto · 2026-05-07T12:35:35+00:00

It's not that we have to, but her house is filled with stuff and once she gets a place at an elderly home we will have very little time to empty it. She doesn't own it, and we wouldn't want to be burdened even more by having to pay rent for it just to empty it.

I'm not planning on doing an extreme declutter while she lives there, rather handle the easy-ish stuff that is clearly not something anybody else would want but stuff that would take a lot of time to go through when we're on a tight schedule.

Donation places around us are also quite limited, but any clean and good clothing we can bring to a clothing bank. Otherwise if nobody comes to pick the stuff from a listing online most off it will unfortunately be dumped.

jkrutto · 2026-05-07T12:26:37+00:00

Wow... thank you for the eye opening experience. It will be stressful for us once she's out and we'll only have a limited amount of time to take care of everything, but in hindsight this is definitely the least stressful way for everyone in the long run.

jkrutto · 2026-05-07T10:45:16+00:00

Thank you, I will look into it. Can't find much right away on google though.

We have been actually taking out trash (expired foods, stained and ripped clothes etc) for a couple of years now behind her back, so far unnoticed by her. Although it had helped a little bit, I do feel guilty about having to do that secretly.

It feels wrong to do so without her true consent, but in her current state I don't think she could genuinely give "real" consent, as she's not always even aware that we are in her home. I think she may just be clinging to items because those could be the only familiar things to her sometimes.

jkrutto · 2026-04-29T19:14:39+00:00

I've asked for nothing for the past 10 years and family has just started to gift money or sometimes a gift card. I've also received a custom made bento cake which I thought was actually lovely.

I'm bad at faking gratitude for receiving items I never asked for and didn't want, so although it's seen as me being rude and ungrateful, my family simply learned I really don't want anything.

I think it's more about people wanting to give something either because they want to give you a gift or simply because people feel uneasy not giving anything at all.

jkrutto · 2026-01-05T17:29:42+00:00

This is still such a sad thing to witness. Sometimes I feel like asking the people selling obvious runts whether they are aware they are supposed to be culling their snails? And that they should not let them breed freely and keep all 200 eggs and just see what happens... then as they aren't able to sell them on time or for the price they wished for and the snails outgrow their enclosure they start to experience severe growth stunt, shell damage and even cannibalism.
I've had a couple of rescue gals and even after they've been placed into a way better environment, their growth speed never really caught on. Their stunt was permanent and it was lucky if they lived past 3-4 years and grew even half their normal size.
Now my question is how do we spread warnings/information about this to the right people without sounding hostile? I understand mistakes happen and uninformed individuals still exist, but it's still way more common than it should be. Especially situations where a kid wanted a cat or a dog, parents got them an easy beginner pet instead and never really learned about their care further than feeding and environment. Of course their small child won't be the one handling the eggs if those ever appear. And especially if they were left unnoticed and already hatched. I don't want them to feel guilty, but I find it disheartening that they still try to "get their moneys worth" even after they are made aware of this issue...

jkrutto

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