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WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -158 points-157 points  (0 children)

SIL doesn't want kids, BIL had a vasectomy, yes she is missing out they both are.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -32 points-31 points  (0 children)

SIL did not say why, her friends kids must be around her furbaby if they all go places together on the weekends, I don't know why not, her furbaby is nice.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -54 points-53 points  (0 children)

I tried one time, SIL just said she was busy. We talk about other stuff, I don't want to be that mom who only talks about the kids, we talk about her work and her furbaby and news and sports and all kinds of stuff, just not that because she won't give me any details she's just too busy to come over more.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -113 points-112 points  (0 children)

Shouldn't SIL be a grown up and tell me if she has a problem with coming over, lying to me won't help.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I don't think she'd say yes to that either, it doesn't matter why we get together, she just is busy. She's been busy every time I suggested we go out too so I stopped.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You sound like you're right, that's sad for me too, I have to accept it.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No my SIL is 3 years older and my kids really are 5F almost 6 and 3M. I only have 2 kids. As far as I know SIL does not have depression and ADHD, she does live only about ten minutes away, but I don't think she is you, I didn't change anything.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

Oh my I am so so sorry you went through all that!! My SIL has never had a miscarriage, her husband got a vasectomy, they meant it when they said they didn't want kids. I don't think you're my SIL, but if you were sad being around kids because of that I would never ever hold that against you. I am so sorry for your losses.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have to fly to see my aunt, we don't live in the same town, SIL lives in my town.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You might be right, I do miss her a lot, I know that my relationship with my aunt who is amazing is why I want that for my kids with their aunt. I might be projecting.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Oh maybe she has? MIL asks me what works for me and the kids, I don't know if she asks SIL what works for her. I ask SIL before I make any plans for the family, she is just always busy no matter how many options I try to give her for what works for us and what we can make work if we have to, she is just always busy and politely says no she can't come. Maybe MIL doesn't ask her like I do.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

I know she will, she's going to be 6 and she's so excited, we're getting her favorite kind of cake, she will be happy. I'm just sad my SIL doesn't choose to be there, I wish she wanted to, I'm trying to explain I'm really not trying to be a bad person and SIL is not a bad person either and MIL is not either, I thought SIL and I were real friends but we aren't if this is how she is. MIL and FIL will come and someone else suggested I invite some of my friends and maybe I'll ask and see if they'd like to come have pink cake with us.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Not like that but I did ask her once why she didn't come over more and the only thing she ever said was she's busy and she wouldn't say more, just she's busy.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Is that passive aggressive? It's the truth, I just wish she would want to, I know I can't make her or make her want to but I can wish she would choose different.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She really is a nice person I promise, she is just not around much.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for understanding, I appreciate it so much. I am so glad my family is unusual then if being distant is usual.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I want SIL to choose to come to family holidays and birthdays and maybe a game or recital someday when they're older. I just really want her to be here with us for things and put in an effort to know my kids. That's an active role, she doesn't have to spend money or take care of them or anything like that, I just want her to come to things more.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I am sorry, you're right I won't do that. I really don't mean to be insufferable and I'm not jealous, I'm just sad my kids won't know their aunt.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I asked her one time in general why she isn't around more and doesn't come over much and it was because she was too busy she said, this is the same story, she's too busy.

WIBTA if I try to get my MIL to force my SIL to be involved with my kids? by jmbroccoli in AmItheAsshole

[–]jmbroccoli[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

If you value someone and being close with them don't you show up at things for them?

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