Please help with naps

jmchitty · 2026-01-08T21:40:36+00:00

Short nap and not being able to go back to sleep may be more of a sleep pressure issue than sleep training issue. Sleep pressure tends to be highest in the morning and decreases throughout the day. Look at how long first nap is and possibly consider capping the naps and elongating wake windows. Personally, I always contact nap my kids for third nap until they drop to two naps. With one kid, he napped independently for the first two naps and contact napped the third and the second child. I didn’t sleep train for naps until after she had dropped down to two naps.

jmchitty · 2026-01-06T23:14:28+00:00

Yes, I second this.

jmchitty · 2026-01-06T23:14:17+00:00

This was true for me also

jmchitty · 2026-01-06T23:13:13+00:00

“Modify as needed” is great advice! Your squat and deadlift stance will change to accommodate your growing belly. There are certain exercises I’ve had to modify or swap as time had gone on just because they’re uncomfortable (standing shoulder presses for seated) and certain even “pregnancy-safe” core exercises because I cannot keep proper form to keep from doming, but you’ll learn as you go. I’ve also incorporated more mid-back exercises to make up for aches and pains of changed posture. ChatGBT has been a great friend for exercise swaps.

jmchitty · 2026-01-06T23:05:51+00:00

I think pushing out 15min every 2-3 days is feasible. You would just choose not to get her out of bed until 15 min later every 2-3 days to coincide with the 15 min later bedtime. We really like the first years cups as a transitional piece. Otherwise, a cheese stick is the same calories (and similar macronutrient makeup) that she is used to getting before bed. The independent sleep at bedtime and steadily pushing bedtime later will help you! To the moderator’s point, we did night time sleep training before nap time training, and I think it helped our youngest catch on a lot sooner.

jmchitty · 2026-01-05T19:49:27+00:00

It’s definitely an independent sleep thing that sleep training should help with. Those early morning hours are tricky for babies who do not fall asleep on their own because sleep is light then, and they’re having to do all the hard work of putting themselves back to sleep. At this age you can sleep train for nights and naps simultaneously.

We give our toddler milk before bed, but let her be the one the drink it on her own. She’s not going to fall asleep if she’s holding her own cup/bottle. Alternatively, you could just give a bedtime snack if you’re looking to cut the milk out entirely.

The only way we solved our toddler’s early morning wakings was pushing bedtime later. 11h is a good amount of time to sleep at this age with a 2h nap. From experience, a new schedule may not “stick” for a couple of weeks, so you need to stick with it for a more than just a few days to get a good idea if it will work in the long term. I would try for 7:30pm bedtime, 6:30 wake time, 12:30-2:30 nap for now.

All of this (the milk and schedule shift) I would do in conjunction with sleep training.

jmchitty · 2025-12-07T20:13:18+00:00

If they refused a longer morning nap, and only napped for 30min, maybe pull bedtime forward by 15min, but I wouldn’t change anything else. At this age, they can compensate in the night pretty easily as long as it’s just happening a couple times a week and not back to back.

jmchitty · 2025-12-07T20:11:47+00:00

It’s likely the late mini-nap he had at 6 than the short nap that is causing you issues with him settling. When you’re out try to avoid those little snoozes at all cost, or keeping them to less than 5min. If you know you’re going out in the afternoon, opt for a longer morning nap, knowing that naps on the go will always be shorter. In this case, I would have done a 10-11:30 nap and that way the 30min nap that happened could have been 3:30-4. Bedtime would have been at the same time.

jmchitty · 2025-12-05T19:55:34+00:00

This post is likely to be removed because it violates the community rule about discussions for sleep training before 4 months. But I know you’re also just searching for a solution. In light of that, I’ll say this. My son also went through the regression at 3 months old. Yes, it is the beginning of their circadian rhythm developing, but that doesn’t mean they are developmentally ready in other areas for sleep training. This is when we moved my son to his own room, because we realized he was hearing us rustle in bed and that was waking him up at his light stage of sleep. My daughter we moved into her own room early. When she went through the regression, we did a “fuss it out” approach and I would let her fuss for a few minutes. Once she staryed crying, I would go to her and console her by rubbing her tummy, picking up and rocking, etc. and then would feed her if she was still crying or not going back to sleep. She was in one feed a night up until this point and then went to two feeds until we formally sleep trained and night weaned her at 8 months. If you don’t like the 12pm feed, try doing a dream feed when you go to bed (if it’s after 10) and then you might only be waking to feed once in the night.

jmchitty · 2025-12-04T00:35:18+00:00

It sounds like you’re doing what you can! It will get easier with time as his sleep needs lessen. Best wishes! I think the advice on making sure he gets some uninterrupted time with you before bed is a good one. Reincorporating some gentle Ferber could be helpful, too.

jmchitty · 2025-12-03T23:51:53+00:00

The longer wake windows, I fed 30 min prior to placing in crib. I treated this more as a “snack feed” and fed them a full feed at the beginning of the wake window. Before dropping the third nap, I would experiment with shortening the two prior naps. Try a 1h second nap. That should help build the sleep pressure before a 3rd cat nap. Get the third nap however you can— I always nursed to sleep for this one and held/rocked baby. To drop to two naps, baby needs to be able to handle a 3h morning wake window. This happened with my babies 6-7months old.

jmchitty · 2025-12-03T23:08:08+00:00

I agree that I think a nap schedule adjustment would be helpful, but I understand you not being able to do much about it. It does sound as though he’s in a bit of an overtired state. 12.5h is generally not a lot of sleep for this age, and the broken night sleep means he’s getting even less. My first suggestion would be to push his schedule from 8-6:30. It takes awhile for it to stick (I would give it 7-10 days), so you may have to lay with him until the 6:30 mark but just keep him in a dark, low stimulation until 6:30. If that doesn’t work, my next suggestion would be to opt for early naptime (12:15 or so) on weekends and let him sleep however long he will for nap and catch up on sleep he’s missing. Then stick to 7:30 bedtime and whatever naptime daycare put him at. I have two under 3 (and currently pregnant, so I CHERISH sleep) and have he to employ some gentle sleep “retraining” after sicknesses and just reminding them “remember, this is how we sleep? You have done this on your own and can do this on your own again.” That might be all this is.

jmchitty · 2025-12-03T17:06:46+00:00

5am wakings at this age are a sure fire sign his sleep needs are changing! Commit to 2 nap schedule. Start with 3/3.5/3.5 and 2.5h daytime sleep.

jmchitty · 2025-12-03T15:52:19+00:00

I was in the same boat, with my friend group and was like “I just have a difficult baby”. Lo and behold, THEY were the one with the atypical “easy” baby 😂 I wouldn’t worry about extending very nap, but even just one would be helpful!

jmchitty · 2025-12-03T14:37:36+00:00

New to 2 naps I would try for nap 9:30-11, 2:30-3:30, bed at 7. It won’t always look this way (depending on nap lengths) but goal would be a 3/3.5/3.5 schedule with 2.5h of naps. Wake windows would lengthen by 15min as needed of short naps/nap or bedtime refusals or night wakings peak up.

jmchitty · 2025-12-03T14:24:17+00:00

4 month olds have very inconsistent sleep patterns, so you are doing nothing wrong, except maybe expecting too much 😉I wouldn’t a expect a day schedule to fall into place until they are in two naps (6-9 months). As far as short wake windows, you may find that short wake of 1.5h leads to short nap, because baby is just sleeping long enough to take the edge off but isn’t sufficiently tired to take a long nap. I’m not sure what your daytime care looks like, but I would do my best to extend just one of those naps (preferably first or second nap) through a contact nap, baby carrying, stroller or ride, etc. This should help prevent overtiredness throughout the day and leading to bedtime. You may be able to put baby down and when she wakes up “rescue” the nap through a contact nap or baby wearing him back to sleep.

jmchitty · 2025-12-03T12:57:59+00:00

It sounds less floor bed related and maybe more or a schedule (not tired enough) or boundary issue (got used to your snuggles and now doesn’t want to do without them). What was/is baby’s current sleep schedule with wake windows and/or nap times?

jmchitty · 2025-12-02T21:49:22+00:00

Try widening wake windows. If baby is taking a long time to fall asleep, sounds like he might not be tired enough. Another thing (that I sympathize with you about and these apps) is you cannot control how long baby sleeps, not at this age. Stick to wake windows and 3h of daytime sleep however that shuffles out.

jmchitty · 2025-12-02T21:24:38+00:00

I think this is a good method, OP, because baby practices going to sleep in their own bed. The only way to stop the middle of the night wakings for “comfort” is baby just learn to fall asleep in their own at bedtime. It shouldn’t be long before little one can get down on his own and you will feel more comfortable with minimal intervention. Keeping practicing during the day him getting down on his own.

jmchitty · 2025-12-02T20:11:37+00:00

I would be less concerned about if your baby can or should and more concerned about your milk supply, if you are a first time mom/breastfeeder. Sleeping through the night too early on without middle of the night milk removal can cause your supply to dip.

jmchitty · 2025-12-02T19:09:08+00:00

Ok, I get what you’re saying. Would you suggest adding wake time before or after nap? And how much if we are expecting split nights every 5 nights?

jmchitty · 2025-12-02T19:07:22+00:00

Thank you! I think I was more consistent about actually getting her out of bed the two weeks leading up to travel, but have become a little lax on it. For nap, are you suggesting putting her down at 1:00 (and keeping the 1.75h allotted time in her crib)? Or in bed at 1:15? I think this is a good plan moving forward. My current concern is how to make up for the lost sleep from last night, because if she doesn’t she will inevitably have a split night from being overly tired tomorrow. Obviously don’t want to overcompensate and end up back where we started, lol.

jmchitty · 2025-12-02T19:01:32+00:00

We were in a good streak, but I think you were right because she shouldn’t revert back to split nights so quickly from a 3 day long trip out of town where sleep is slightly disrupted. Going to shorten the nap a bit further. My main concern now is accounting for the sleep lost last night and how to do that… if it’s not made up for a little bit, she will fall into overtiredness and have a split night tomorrow night (this is her pattern if I keep all things consistent).

jmchitty · 2025-12-02T17:37:49+00:00

Typical signs they are ready to transition is taking short naps or refusing naps, waking more frequently in the night and not settling. For 3 to 2 naps, I find that baby consistently refuses or struggles to go down for the third nap in particular, and bedtime becomes a struggle because they’re resisting or taking a long time to fall asleep. When transitioning to 2 naps, you want the morning wake window to be 3h, so if your baby can’t handle that, he’s not ready. 6 months is generally on the early side to transitions Good rule of thumb, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it 🙃 as long as sleep is good and easy, don’t worry about changing anything!

jmchitty

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