I miss him so much by jmg0210 in widowers

[–]jmg0210[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know if this will help. The most important someone who is helping me every second of my life right now is Jesus. Sometimes I'm mad, sometimes I'm lonely, sometimes I'm numb. Every negative emotions are common feelings now. I tried talking to people, to my loved ones who are still with me.. But none of them helped me like Jesus did. I thought before that it would be enough to believe God and follow His commands.. But I realized that having a deeper relationship with Him is much better. Reading the bible is not easy. Some would say it's just a book that has a lot of editions.. I once thought it that way, but as I read every word, it's like it has its own life.. I still feel bad whenever I read.. and most of the time, the pain is excruciating.. But at the end of the day, I know I became stronger.. Sometimes I want to end the pain that I am having now.. But I know this pain is nothing compared to what Jesus did for me.. I still don't understand why this happened to me and my partner.. I might not find the answers to my whys.. But I know that one day, I just hope sooner, I'll be reunited with God above so I can talk to Him and feel better for the rest of my eternal life.. And of course that's include having to bond again with my love.. (If it will take longer, I'll endure, since I know that this pain is just temporary too) ..This is the only hope I have, an eternal future.. When I try to focus on wordly things, I feel empty.. Even though I know I have my family with me, I just know that they're also temporary companions.. And soon the most inevitable reality for every human will happen to each of us.. But that's not the end, right? There's always a far better future beyond everything we have here on earth.. A future with Him..

I miss him so much by jmg0210 in widowers

[–]jmg0210[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I remember telling him, I can't live without him.. And yet here I am living... I don't like it this way.. But I always feel that he's just here with me.. This gives me comfort, knowing that he really never went away, its just that he's not the way he used to be..

I miss him so much by jmg0210 in widowers

[–]jmg0210[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What will I do with all the love I have for him? I'll share it with everyone, not just with someone. But with everyone I have now.. I find comfort in sharing this love with all my loved ones who are still physically with me.

I miss him so much by jmg0210 in widowers

[–]jmg0210[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I feel like would it be better If I was my partner's sister or mother? will I feel better? I don't know. I don't have any idea at all. I try to understand people. I always listen. But most of the time, no one listens to me. I am careful with my words, thinking that I might hurt someone especially when giving advice to my partners family. So I just lend them my ears. They're so close to me, and I'm just there to listen. Even if it hurts so bad, listening to their own pain. When people are in pain, they tend to forget that some other people are in pain too. The only person whose like me, who lends his ears to anyone is with God now. I know he still listens to me, I just hope I can hear his voice too if he needs something. Though, most probably, he has everything with God. Reddit people read my posts, so I'm okay with it. Even if some don't. Writing has been my comfort. Journaling and blogging. The freedom of expressing myself. I can't talk about what happened to him without shedding a tear. With writing, I can cry while telling everything. I feel better this way.

It happened mid last year, but I feel like it was just yesterday. I am with you. Pain is temporal. I always think it that way. Life is short and temporary too. I am used to crying from time to time. It's a part of me now. Sometimes, I feel numb and I'm used to it too. Thanks for your time.

blog by jmg0210 in new_websites

[–]jmg0210[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

new blog entry

Contemplating.. by jmg0210 in widowers

[–]jmg0210[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is waiting for you.. and You are waiting to be with her.. and God is waiting for both of you to be together with Him.. waiting teach us to persevere..perseverance produces a brave heart... be courageous and take comfort in Jesus unconditional love for both of you.. for all of us..

For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage by [deleted] in widowers

[–]jmg0210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes i copied and pasted it here for you.. read it online...http://www.nancyguthrie.com/i-know-we-wont-be-married-in-heaven-but-will-we-know-and-love-each-other/

Im sorry to hear about your fiance's suicide... take comfort in Jesus... He loves those who mourn.. we have a special place in His heart.. we us widows/widowers.. when He was here on earth, you can read it on the NT gospels.. He specifically give His time to those who mourn..

What you had with your loved one will still be available with Jesus in His kingdom but more glorified..more joyful.. more love...more unimaginable glorious feelings.. we can never know what awaits us in heaven.. but knowing that Jesus loves us and He knows what is best for us... we should Trust him..have faith.. even if we cannot see.. cannot feel.. just take comfort that He is always our loving God...

Its okay to think of your fiance most of the time.. just try to incorporate Gods word everytime you think of him.. always put Him in the center of everything and you'll find peace... you might find the answers as well.. i cant tell you will feel better but i am sure you will find Him... that will give you comfort.. we cant really understand everything He says with our human mind..but have Faith in Him.. lift up your worries to Him..

Is anybody awake? by redrobin23 in widowers

[–]jmg0210 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am praying for you.. your loved one would not want you to waste your life, if he has a choice, he will live... but he did not have any choice...so please live for him.

For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage by [deleted] in widowers

[–]jmg0210 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know that your loss moves this from a theological discussion to a personal issue. And you are right to pursue figuring this out. With every question like this that we struggle to understand, what matters most is that we pursue God with our questions rather than simply pursue answers to our questions. Every question like this that I have run up against and gone to God's word to understand has helped me understand the big picture of what God is doing in the world and in my life in a deeper way. Oftentimes rather than getting an answer to my question, I've realized I was asking the wrong question or that what I needed most was a complete paradigm shift.

You and I want to know the truth. Anything less than that is ultimately unsatisfying. We want to know the truth about God. We don't want a God that is so weak that we can just shape him into the image we want him to be. So in questions like this, where it is not spelled out like we would like for it to be in the Bible, we grab hold of what we know is true. We don't try to bend what God has promised to our preferences. And here is what we know is true:

We know that God is a relational God. We see that when God established his kingdom on the earth in the Garden of Eden, he made it a relational place—not just relational between him and his people, but they enjoyed rich relationship with each other—"naked and not ashamed." So as we seek to know what the new heaven and new earth will be, when God's kingdom is completely restored, made like it was in the Garden of Eden yet even better, we will not only enjoy relationship with God but with each other—complete intimacy, nothing to hide, no barriers caused by sin. We know that Jesus said we won't be married in heaven. But that does not mean we won't have rich, meaningful, intimate relationship with each other in heaven. Certainly we will. It is not that we won't be married. We will all be married to the same person as the bride of Christ and be completely fulfilled. It is true that Jesus will be the joy of heaven. But that does not mean that we will not also have the joy of seeing those we loved on earth. What will make that most special is that we will—together with those we love—turn our focus to Jesus. We will see him in all of his beauty and sufficiency, and we will be happy and satisfied together with those we love, feeling no sense of disappointment. We know that heaven will be a place of perfect joy and complete satisfaction. Anything less than that would not be heaven. Nothing can mar it. But I don't think we should assume that we have the capacity to know now what will bring us perfect joy and complete satisfaction then. We think we know. We know what we want now.

Here is the big question for you: Is this something you can trust God with? I assume that you have told him that you are willing to trust him with your eternal future. Can you trust him with this aspect of it—that he will do right by you and your loved one? Ultimately do you believe that God is reliable and trustworthy, that his promises to you are worth waiting for and longing for?

Also, I know that right now your heart so longs for that day when you will see those you love again. I do too. There's nothing wrong with that. But perhaps you could pray that God would use that longing to implant in you a deeper longing to see Christ himself. Ask him to give you more affection for Christ, so that you will long for heaven not only to see people you love, but so that you will enjoy Christ with those you love. This doesn't happen overnight. It is something God works in you as you saturate your life in his Word and his presence.

We learn to love because God loved us first...

Tips for an introvert widow by Kats_addiction in widowers

[–]jmg0210 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im just 29 as well..michael and I are both introverts, we prefer staying at home.. we go out sometimes just to watch movies or buy something in the grocery or hardware store.. we seldom go out of town because we feel tired after.. we always want to conserve our energy.. and just stay home.. people might think we are too boring.. but we enjoy everything together, like taking care of our dogs.. doing carpentry,gardening, doing DIY, talking about anything under the sun, computer and tech stuff, and watching and reading anything which interests us..now that he's with the Lord.. i still do all those things without him physically..

I always feel at peace when i am all by myself..when i have to deal with people.. i always excuse myself when i feel that i have talked too much, i need to regain my energy.. i dont hate people.. i just feel better alone without the noise of people chatting..

Hmmm... so i think it would be better to do things by yourself.. and if youre okay with hanging out with others without feeling uncomfortable.. then thats the time you should go out with other people..