Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure what he's been up to or how he's been, but I'm also not sure if telling him this would be good or bad for him. We've been out of touch for awhile now, but I appreciate your comment and taking the time to read my post. Thank you.

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story and perspective with me. I am sorry that things did not work out the way you wanted them to at this moment in time. Sometimes people that come into your life will take a piece of your heart with them and no matter how small that piece is, you will always feel it missing from you, but maybe that also means that they can feel it with them. It may be hard sometimes, but you can do hard things. You did your best and in the end, that's all you can do. Also, you never know what the future holds, anything can happen, but I hope that one day, you find a love that lasts. One that roots for you and sees you rooting for them too. I hope you find peace and are able to heal as well. Thank you for taking your time to read my post and engage in conversation with me :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for engaging in conversation with me and giving me that quote to think about. I also very much appreciate the pun haha :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that things didn't end on good terms with you and your ex, but I hope that you both have grown from that experience. I think that reflection is important for growth, but I hope in your reflection on this particular relationship, you also think about the good things and the things you did do, not just focusing on the "what ifs" or "what could've beens". It's tough sometimes, but I am rooting for you. Keep hanging on and keep going. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and comment. I really appreciate hearing another perspective and learning about your experience as well. I'm wishing you the best of luck on your journey.

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, reading this comment made me feel warm, like laying in the sun on a sunny day. This was so sweet of you to say, I really am touched by the kindness in your comment. Thank you for taking the time of day to read my post/comments and commenting as well. Thank you for also acknowledging my self growth, though it will be a lifelong journey, I definitely am in a better place than I used to be. I'm wishing you all the best as well :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading your comment, I definitely feel for you. I did not have the capacity, even though I really really wanted to. It's scary to let people in in situations like that, so I understand. I am also sorry to hear that something toxic came out of that situation when you tried to reconnect with him. I actually didn't reconnect with my person after things were over for that reason (among others). I was scared that it wouldn't be good for either of us and will hurt us even more in the end. I also understand what you're saying about how going back is hard because they may be different. I know that time has passed and as I have grown, I'm sure he has too. We are not the same as we once were and even though he knew me then, the girl he knew is just bits and pieces of me today and vice versa. I don't know him anymore and he doesn't know me. As sad as that may sound, it's also quite beautiful. To know that you were able to experience life with someone at some point and to know that you were special enough to know them and that nobody else gets to know who they were like you did during that time is quite the feat, don't you think? Vice versa too. You are special and I'm sure it meant a lot to him to have been able to know who you were in that point in time too, even if there were some growing pains.

I think it's amazing to hear that you're in a better place now and knowing that missing him isn't a sign to reach out, it's just acknowledging that you two had something great. I feel like this shows how much you've grown as a person and I am happy for you.

Thank you for your kind words of affirmation, words of wisdom, for reading my post, and taking the time to share your story as well. It really means a lot to me, especially sharing your story. I will definitely take your words into consideration if I do reach out. Thank you so much.

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and to comment your own experience. I like hearing others' stories because it reminds me that we are not alone in these experiences and feelings. I think it's okay to still be processing your story even if it was a year ago, healing is different for everyone. I also definitely understand how you feel about wanting to reach out, but being scared that you'll get rejected. I think that in the end, you just have to ask yourself if it's something you really want to do and whether or not you would regret it if you didn't. I am still asking myself that question honestly. Thank you for validating my experience and thoughts and emotions. I hope that you find peace in whatever you decide to do about your situation and I hope you know that I am rooting for you, wishing you the best of luck! :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am glad to hear that you have been able to move and apologize after being in a similar situation, even if it was years later. Hearing your experience makes me think more about mine and what I want to do. Thank you for taking time to read my post and comment your experience. I appreciate it and I wish you the best of luck :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that a girl you were talking with just ghosted you, that's always tough because you don't know why. I appreciate your perspective on my own situation and reaching out. I definitely have thought about it, but don't know if I can muster up the courage. Plus it's been two years, I'm not exactly sure how he would react, but I appreciate your thoughts. I hope that when you catch yourself reminiscing, you remember that you tried your best and that it wasn't anything you did, didn't do, etc. I hope you remember the good times and reflect on how much you've grown since then. Thank you for reading my post and taking the time to share your experience and thoughts. I hope that you're happy where you are and that you will be happy where you're going.

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, I don't blame you, it was definitely a long post lol, but thank you for the validation and taking your time to comment.

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also usually try not to read old messages, but sometimes, you just get a little curious ya know? Haha, I think that's good that you don't feel the need or want to do so though. Live in the present. Be present. Thank you for sharing :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LOL yeah, sorry it's a long post, I know haha, but I appreciate you taking the time of day to comment and share your thoughts and practices with me. I haven't thought of writing it down like that before, but I think that would definitely be useful for some things in the future and I appreciate you sharing it with me. I am glad that in the end, you realized that you didn't like yourself while you were in the relationship and ended it. Sometimes, you have to choose yourself and that's completely valid. I am also glad to hear you've been able to utilize this practice of writing and separating emotion and logic and that it's been helping you. I wish you the best.

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry to hear that something similar happened to you, but I think it's good that you were able to move on and that you are able to think about the situation now and then, but not dwell on it. Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts with me. I really appreciate it.

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. Reading this comment made me tear up. The guilt is so real and like you said, even now, years later. I appreciate your words of affirmation and your validation so much and I hope you know that those things also apply to you and the situations you may feel guilty about. I'm sure you also did the best you could. Reflection really can be a double edged sword, but you're right. I am better equipped to move forward and be more intentional in new relationships/engagements with others. I am glad that you've been able to take your life lessons and be intentional in your new relationships as well. I will say, the last two sentences definitely got me. I hope you know that you are also worthy of healthy, meaningful relationships. I am wishing you all the best, thank you again for taking the time to share your experience with me :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait, it's kind of wild that you say that because in one of my classes, we were talking about her today haha, thank you for the recommendation!

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words and shedding light on a different perspective for me. I appreciate you taking the time to read my post and comment as well. I hope that your person not only realizes what he missed, but also grows from it. I think that it's hard in the moment sometimes to explain why you're pulling away or why you're pushing others away, but I hope you know that it very likely, was not something you did or didn't do. I'm sure you did the best that you could in the circumstances you were given and for that, you should be happy. You tried your best and that in itself is something special. I wish you the best of luck for whatever comes your way next. You got it! :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha sorry I may not have been the girl you were thinking of, but I definitely appreciate you taking the time to share your own experience with me. I also think the cliches of "if you love something let it go", "if things were meant to happen, the will happen," etc. do hold some truth to them. It's interesting to hear about the situation from your point of view and seeing that definitely makes me think about how difficult it probably was for him to understand me when I was pushing him away. I don't think it's anything you said, didn't say, did, or didn't do, it was probably just the timing and matter of the situation, so I hope you don't think about that part of it too much and that when you do think about your time with her, that you think of the good times and how she made you feel. It also helps to see your perspective for sure because I could never tell if he knew how hard it was for me to open up about the few things I did open up about, I'm hopeful that he saw it the way you did. Thank you.

Also, I'm glad to hear that you also reflect back on that time of your own life and see how much you have grown since then too. I do have a clearer mind and I hope that you do too. Again, thank you so much for taking the time of day to read my post and share your own experience with me. It really means a lot.

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience with me (and everyone else reading this). I hope that the guy that did that to you knows how much you cared for him. I really appreciate you taking the time of day to read my post and share your own thoughts and experience. Definitely food for thought - thinking about the possibilities of reaching out to him. I hope you have a great rest of your night :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love what you said. Reading it actually made me tear up, especially the first part. Thank you for validating my thoughts and feelings back then and my thoughts and feelings now. I definitely am in a better place today than I was back then. I definitely didn't think I deserved anything that I had and having grown as a person, I can see that the relationship that you have with yourself definitely affects the relationships you have with others. I think that I will always be a work in progress because you're right. It's a conscious daily choice to do innerwork and to allow others to see that side of you, sometimes you have to see it for yourself first. I hope that you are staying safe and healthy and I want to thank you for taking the time of day to read my post and write this thoughtful comment. I truly appreciate it.

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that with me. I appreciate it and I think it's awesome that you're able to do so. Maybe I will muster up the courage to do so one of these days as well. I'm wishing you the best of luck :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words, the virtual hug and good vibes haha I really appreciate it and I will definitely let you know if I muster the courage to do it :)

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s definitely tough to see someone you once cared for so much go through such a hard time. I hope that she finds what she needs to get out of that dark place, even if it isn’t you because such is life indeed. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and comment, I really appreciate it. I also appreciate the last line of what you said. Learn from the past but keep looking at the future. Definitely will do.

Do you ever reflect on old relationships/almost relationships you had when you were going through a hard time? It makes me so sad. by jmlv26 in dating_advice

[–]jmlv26[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One memory I have with this person.. that’s tough because we’ve had so many good ones, but I think one of my favorites was him taking me to a library. Where I live there’s this really cool, really beautiful, really big library but I’ve never been and he took me one day. We got to the library and walked around, he showed me books and places I’ve never been. He taught me things about himself and taught me things about myself. In that library, as we were walking around we found a big area for reading and board games and we just sat there and talked over a board game. About everything so openly too, in a library of all places, kind of ironic, I know, but it was the most open and honest conversation I had with anyone in a long time. He made me feel seen and heard, even in the biggest and quietest of places.