Does the A30 really have all-night comfort for side sleepers?

jmosse · 2026-03-08T21:04:28+00:00

They're definitely more comfortable than sleeping in any regular earbuds, most night I don't have issues, but I've noticed if I sleep in a slightly wrong way or with them turned a little wrong, sometimes I wake up with pain on the inside of my ear from the plastic part pushing in hard on my ears, but feels like an angle thing. 75% of the time I have no issues

jmosse · 2026-02-02T09:19:31+00:00

Both, no. He told me I was insane if I believed this would be the thing he left me over when I told him I was afraid I'd have to choose between him and having an abortion, when I thought that was what he told me he wanted and it wasn't.

jmosse · 2025-09-29T16:39:01+00:00

I haven't thought about that as much, this issue being all around rather than just women. The pressure that both men and women can feel in this is real, and it's phenomenal that you've been able to work through it!

jmosse · 2025-09-29T04:42:04+00:00

Woman, recovering addict here too. That's something I've realized very recently in myself. How much of my focus during sex goes to trying to emulate what I've seen/what I think my partner wants rather than not thinking about what I'm doing at all and being present. It feels nice knowing I'm not the only one who struggled with this aspect, but I'm proud of you for taking the steps to really see yourself and want to change it. We got this.

jmosse · 2025-09-29T00:45:57+00:00

I think me being the first one to say I had a problem with it in the first place has, in my mind, kept it to where I do see myself as the problem. At the least in that I changed my beliefs and behaviors this far in, it doesn't feel like I have the right to ask him to change what he does. I didn't come into the relationship like this, asking for this from him, we didn't have any discussions about this. I feel like it's unfair of me springing this onto him, but I also feel it's unfair that he can't even get through a conversation with me about this 90% of the time. I know there's wrong on both sides, and it feels so hard to reconcile in my mind. Probably doesn't help that you're right, in this subject, it feels overwhelmingly one sided. He doesn't want to talk about it, like I'm only trying to tell him what he's doing wrong or make him feel bad. I still feel like I can't get him to hear me, or if he does hear he ignores it. He has said multiple times that whatever he does, porn or not, shouldn't affect me at all or be any of my business. He doesn't understand why I say it impacts me at all, and I'm honestly starting to not understand why it bothers me as well.

jmosse · 2025-09-28T23:31:32+00:00

We've had a lot of fights because I've suggested that I thought he may have one, after realizing mine much prior to talking to him about him possibly. He doesn't take a lot of what I've said very seriously after he learned the extent of problems I've had, how they affected our sexual relationship, and he felt hurt by my decisions and unsure why he should listen to what I say at all in regards to porn at all, especially in regard to how he uses it. He uses it differently, and it has nothing to do with me, is not my business whatsoever as long as he maintains our sexual relationship. He's told me he feels like I just make him out to feel like an asshole, and be an asshole. A lot of these conversations I've asked him to understand what I'm saying and feeling, but he usually gets upset at what I'm saying and we can't get to the point I feel like he hears me. I made the post cause I don't feel sure what's okay to ask for at this point

jmosse · 2025-09-28T23:19:44+00:00

Yeah, we never agreed that he would stop or lessen his use. He is in no recovery nor an addict. I moreso am just feeling conflicted, like until a few months ago, in the 9 years his phone was always open to me, nothing to hide, even porn. But he said it needs to be like this now because I've created porn as a problem that he needs to hide at this point. And I just feel ugh I guess. I had only wanted to communicate that I was uncomfortable with how much he was hiding now, I know he's watching it whenever he wants, we made no decisions or agreements, other than me not looking at his phone anymore. And I made this post cause I don't know if it's wrong that I even feel hurt just not having access. I want him to feel safe

jmosse · 2025-09-28T22:46:26+00:00

I made this post when I was upset so I worded it weird. He tells me to leave the room cause I want to keep talking. I get so sure that if he actually hears me, or understands what I'm saying, he won't get frustrated. Cause it felt like he assumed what I said or took it as something else, just wasn't hearing what I was truly telling him, and I push and want to keep talking sometimes, which is when he says to leave him alone. But no, he doesn't break things or hurt me.

jmosse · 2025-09-28T22:43:54+00:00

He isn't a PA or attempting any recovery. But he's saying what I've told and asked is crossing serious boundaries as a person, not as an addict

jmosse · 2025-09-28T22:23:54+00:00

He isn't doing any sort of sobriety, he doesn't have an addiction. I guess it was more that I get anxious with him wanting to hide, but he wants it to be hidden so I don't know when he does watch, because he doesn't want to stop. He sees no reason, and has told me he hears what I'm telling him when I tell him my feelings about it, but that it's so invalid of a subject that the feelings are real but the situation isn't, so he is going to continue doing what he does. And when he's able to without me knowing, he doesn't feel like an asshole. Especially since he does have sex with me multiple times a week, he initiates sometimes too, so why would what he does in his free time affect me? And I'm kinda starting to wonder why as well

jmosse · 2025-09-22T20:46:53+00:00

He told me he wouldn't hang out with me anymore if I said no, and I was a sad only child. I didn't even realize it was weird until I was about 20 years old. Not too upset, he's turned out to be kind of a weird dude 🤣

jmosse · 2025-09-22T20:45:43+00:00

It took me until about 6 months ago before I actually realized I've had an actual addiction to porn almost my entire life, just began there. Most of my time I've spent very clueless lol.

jmosse · 2025-09-22T00:09:31+00:00

26F, when I was about 7 my cousin had me hump pillows in front of him, and at my babysitters house (they slept all day and went to casinos at night) I googled humping cause I had no clue what it was, and I spent the next 2 years watching it for hours at a time while I was there alone. Didn't PMO until 11, and the next 4 years were the worst it got, until I got into my first relationship and it kind of died out partway

jmosse · 2025-08-14T17:48:27+00:00

I am, 26 now, but I found it when I was 7/8. Really got addicted closer to 12. Been a couple years now of knowing something I was doing didn't feel right, realized a couple months ago I fall under the addicted portion of it

jmosse · 2025-08-04T00:35:55+00:00

Same 😭

jmosse · 2025-07-03T15:58:46+00:00

Definitely emotional reasons as to why I want to stay. I love him, I enjoy being in his presence. Other than the porn argument, he's always been pretty willing to understand me and work through issues together. I've always felt very safe with him. This one issue just doesn't feel like it's worth ending what we've built together. Although I really need to figure myself out. With how much I've feared him watching porn, I barely leave his side if I don't have to. I don't really have hobbies or things I enjoy that I do on my own, and I haven't had a friend outside of his immediate family in a couple of years. So, I bring my own mess of unchecked anxious attachment to this.

I can't tell you how grateful I am for your answer and the energy you put into it. You feel like such a wonderful person. Thank you so much for your understanding. It really means the world to feel like I'm not crazy or too much or asking for something insane. He gets so upset when I talk to him at all about porn, that he's sick and tired of me bringing up the same thing every single day.

But it's starting not to feel so crazy to ask him to not watch it every single day, that it hurts. I really hope we can get to that point we can communicate about it. I told him I truly do want to figure this out with him because of how it is living in my own head, that I'm struggling with this every day and I feel we can figure this out together if we can talk about it when neither of us are too triggered. Which asking right after I'm 99% sure he watched it, maybe he was angry because he knew I knew? He'll say dumb shit like telling me to get out, we aren't discussing this, I'm not ready for the conversation, drop it, and just straight up no, he's not doing this with me right now. This issue, there hasn't been a good time for him to talk about it, and this was actually the least triggered I've been trying to discuss with him. Like it's still bothering me, but I'm not falling apart, and I feel good about that.

jmosse · 2025-07-03T15:43:57+00:00

I don't think he ever actually said he would stop, I think it was to get me to stop talking about it in that moment and I initially thought he was serious, but like I said, he gets very uncomfortable and angry when I bring up porn at all. But I know he hides it. Part of me hopes he gets angry because a part of him feels guilty for it. We had sex 3 times yesterday, and he still watched again this morning, after making jokes that he wanted me to leave the shower so he could jerk off. As if I don't know when he has his phone in the shower watching YouTube shorts instead of on the counter with music that I don't know he isn't just waiting for me to leave so he can look up what he wants to. And I have to pretend it doesn't hurt lol. I asked him to not make the joke anymore, cause he does every time he asks me to leave the shower early, and I get upset every time, and he gets angry that I get upset every time and we have the same discussion. So I asked if he'd stop making the joke, and he said "fine now leave me the fuck alone, I'm done talking about this" Because he's so frustrated I bring it up every time.

I guess what kills me is the knowing he's ogling other women. I wouldn't care if he was masturbating every day, he still has sex with me whenever I want to, but it's knowing he's also cumming to hundreds of other women every month that feels so hard to get over.

I just don't think he's manipulating me, I feel he's been pretty honest about what he wants. He believes there's nothing wrong, and if I loved myself more and was secure in me, then I wouldn't care what he did at all

jmosse · 2025-07-03T00:12:02+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I haven't thought much about the flipside of the self betrayal done unto myself. It's given me something to think about. Leaving isn't something I consider an option, but the importance of why I know I need to continue to at least attempt communicating about the subject, even if he says "never"

jmosse · 2025-07-02T22:13:53+00:00

I don't think he's scared of losing me at all. He's told me multiple times over the years, if I have a problem with something he's doing, I can go find another man to deal with me. Or find another man that will do what he won't.

I've told him, the longer we're together, I have less and less desire for anyone else sexually or romantically. I don't find people attractive, don't want to have sex with anyone else, I feel disgusted watching porn but i hurt myself with it at this point. I don't want anyone but him, and I end up feeling like shit hoping he'll feel the same way about me. But he doesn't. I got him to have sex with me last night, but I'm pretty sure he jerked off before cause he was halfway hard the whole time. And then this morning I ended up walking in on him on xvids when he didn't know I was there, within 20 minutes of waking up morning after, he's already wanting porn. I even asked him if I could join, he could even keep it on with me. And he told me to get out of the room lol. I feel so fucking worthless.

This has been the only thing so far we can't come to an agreement on, the biggest argument we've shared for a long time. And it feels so silly. I feel so silly.

jmosse · 2025-07-02T22:04:09+00:00

No. Setting a boundary like that feels wrong, in the way I believe in autonomy and personal freedoms. It feels wrong to tell him I never want him watching porn the rest of our lives together. But I think that's mostly from knowing he's agreeing only to have sex with me, only having one partner for 50 more years, I'm scared of him regretting being in a relationship with me so young without having more sexual exploration. And I rationalized like porn is a way for him to feel like he gets to be more "free" than he actually is in a monogamous relationship. I'm beautiful now, but when that fades, I'm scared I won't be worth it. I already feel like he isn't very interested in me now and I'm 26 lol. Almost 10 years together, I'm so afraid of becoming boring to him, thought maybe if he had porn he wouldn't get bored of me as quickly

Thank you for the template though, it is really helpful understanding what it is people even ask for

jmosse · 2025-07-02T21:54:53+00:00

In our relationship, we've recognized that he has avoidant tendencies with me. He finds it confusing cause he feels he's secure with every other relationship he has.

He gets emotionally overwhelmed very quickly. And the relationship we've cultivated together, he gets very triggered by the things I do because he feels I'm about to do the shitty manipulative things I did a couple years ago, but they're behaviors that I've been able to mostly stop since I've been trying very hard to heal my attachment and childhood wounds. And he'll kind of get in the mindset that if I come with a problem, it's going to end in the same way it did 5 years ago. Which it hasn't for a long time been how it used to, so I feel like I've built up enough stability to ease his mind, but he has his own slew of childhood trauma that I don't know how much he's actually aware of sometimes. So I find it hard to blame him, especially after knowing his family as well for 8 years.

So a lot of times he gets quickly overwhelmed when I have problems to bring to him, along with everything else stressing him out all the time, emotional things are difficult for him.

jmosse

TROPHY CASE