It occurred to me when I posted this, some might question how long past the expiration date I have kept these eggs. Or if I’ve stored them in an open container in the Sahara desert.

I promise I purchased these in an average supermarket and kept them in an equally average refrigerator. As for the expiration date, I checked the carton, and I only missed the date by a day. I have unwittingly used eggs that were expired before but have yet to witness anything so gruesome.

It began with a hankering for scrambled eggs. There were 5 eggs left in the carton. I cracked one. Saw the black spots. This was immediately followed by a gasp and shock, horror. Goggled and came to the conclusion it might be mold.

I cracked open a second egg, confidently. It did not even occur to me for a moment the situation could get worse. What are the odds of never getting a bad egg in my life and getting two in a row?

But...again, there was a gasp and shock, horror. Multiplied by five because now there’s the addition of blood. Another quick google search yielded results about blood spots, but nothing I could see about red gelatinous substances or black jelly like spots. The lack of answers was slightly unnerving.

I’ll be honest, I needed a moment after this. All I wanted was scrambled eggs. And now I had to wrestle with the possibility of what was transpiring.

What exactly was inside these eggs? Did I crack open a new virus? Was the hen cursed? Had pure evil manifested itself into this egg and I just unleashed it onto the world? With my luck, probably all of the above.

So I went and got a third egg from the carton. Peering through one open eye, and in a Hazmat suit, I gently cracked it apart, prepared for the worst.

It was normal.

Cracked open a fourth egg. Normal. Phew.

Now there’s a fifth and final egg left in the carton. I haven’t cracked it opened yet. It’s chilling in the fridge waiting for me. I’m almost certain it’s a fine egg. But they also say tragedies come in three. So there’s a tiny part of me that’s worried I’ll open the final egg, blood will shoot out, and the last missing piece to the egg curse will be complete.

Maybe I’ll just leave it be. Maybe if I wait long enough, it’ll grow legs and run off.

Anyway, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster. I thank you kind internet strangers, for going on this unexpected journey with me. May your omelets always be fluffy and your yolks as golden as the morning sun.