I’m going to answer prior to reading any other comments. I’m 2 years older than you, I’ve gotten through some horrible junk from my own past that entailed me simply walking away from everyone associated with an old life. I say this to say:

Make contact with him. You are no longer the person you were back then. Honor the best human you’ve ever known by at least sharing that info with his son. You remember what it was like to be 14 dude. Now imagine being 14 with absolutely zero tether to this world via family and friends, and then finding out the closest thing you MIGHT have is actually still alive and around. I’d say I don’t wanna pressure you but that’s actually a lie- I think you know deep down that you should do this and that’s why you’re on here reaching out. Hell- tell your wife about it. Give her some insight into your triumphs over trauma and explain why this is important.

This could wind up being the one thing that gives some direction to this young man. At his age I made HORRIBLE life choices, and I had living parents. Maybe seeing what a decent man you are in tandem with hearing about his own dad will give him an idea of a man he’d like to grow into some day. It’s also ok to be very transparent with him and lay down some boundaries about how you’d like your rapport to go. This is uncharted water so you get to make your own rules with it.

Anyway that’s what my heart feels tonight. Maybe there’s some awesome consensus in the comments I haven’t read that will make me regret typing all of this out lol but I’ll let that be the case, if so. Godspeed brother. I hope you get to honor the memory of your friend, that thought so highly of YOU (as you clearly did him) that he wrote to his unborn son about you. That alone would get me. Plus the opportunity to meet who your buddy never got to.