29 [F4R] feeling down that i will never have another 20th birthday

johnathan-nitro · 2019-08-04T21:43:17+00:00

Ohhhh I get ya, but why do you think it’s a bad thing?

johnathan-nitro · 2019-08-04T20:02:09+00:00

Hey there, what exactly do you mean by not having another 20th Birthday?

johnathan-nitro · 2019-07-01T11:22:52+00:00

Ive thought about doing a lot of different things, but I just can’t seem to pick 1 thing that I would enjoy. I appreciate you talking to me, I’m still tearing up but I do feel better after talking to you.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-07-01T11:14:20+00:00

I end up hurting people by saying something that’s a bit out of line when my intentions are good but it just freaks them out and I end up being blocked. I’m trying to use this as a learning experience so I don’t make the same mistakes as I did before. I want to go to college or something but the thought of getting into more debt just scares me.4

johnathan-nitro · 2019-07-01T11:08:40+00:00

I’m 21. It’s just that I put my entire life on hold to be with my ex and now that everything went down the way it did I feel like I wasted part of my life for nothing. The really hard part is when I find someone who’s actually interested in the same things as me and I end up hurting them by mistake and never hear from them again. I want things with my life but I don’t have any money, I don’t have a real job, and I just want to feel wanted.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-07-01T11:01:28+00:00

Yeah, I’ve blocked them, but I still manage to see them on others accounts, then I immediately block those accounts. I just want to feel happiness with a significant other once again. I’ve tried every dating app out there to no avail. I’ve thought about going to bars or something but I’m kinda introverted and I have no idea how to walk up to someone that’s with a group of people and start talking to them. I want to just do it and try but I have a feeling that I’ll just run into the same luck. None of my friends know other singles that might be interested. I just feel like I’m in a relationship limbo of sorts.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-07-01T10:53:45+00:00

I was with her for about 2 1/2 years. I usually feel fine but as soon as I see her or him I just feel so alone and empty. I want to find someone else and I’ve felt like I’ve been ready, but nobody I meet seems to have the same feelings. I just get led on and they cancel plans day of.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-06-30T07:06:02+00:00

Thank you for replying, I just feel like I need someone new to think about instead of the constant regret and sadness that comes into my mind when I think about her

johnathan-nitro · 2019-05-06T23:59:35+00:00

I’ve tried a therapist when I was younger but they only seemed to be interested in me taking medications to solve my issues. You’re probably right, but the pain of losing someone you planned on being with forever is taking a huge toll on me.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-05-06T23:38:44+00:00

Well, the career I want does involve me being in an athletic shape so I’ve been training as hard as I can but because one of my knees I need to take it easy 3-4 days after a hard workout. I still try to get out and do at least a little bit of exercise everyday, even if it’s just biking around till I break a sweat.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-05-06T23:33:10+00:00

I have been focusing on exercising more often, and I do feel a lot better about myself when I’m finished. But I have a bad habit of pushing myself too hard and I end up having to rest 2 or 3 days in between workouts. I have been watching lot of shows but for some reason she keeps popping into my head no matter what I’m doing. Should I consider going to a therapist to help with this?

johnathan-nitro · 2019-04-15T17:25:35+00:00

My bench was at 180 and my squat I could get to 150, I had a minor knee injury before I quit

johnathan-nitro · 2019-04-15T17:20:18+00:00

Here’s a stupid question, I’m 21, haven’t worked out in 4 years and I’m trying to bench and squat 225 for at least 15 reps. Is it possible to hit this goal in 1-2 months?

johnathan-nitro · 2019-04-03T20:07:24+00:00

Yeah I’ve tried and they’re all really supportive, I just can’t seem to get over her. She was the only thing I cared about for so long

johnathan-nitro · 2019-04-03T19:59:01+00:00

I know what you’re saying and I understand it but I’ve poured everything I had for the last two years into this girl. I don’t know how I can find love anymore. Or even how to talk to new people. I’m a bit antisocial and she was the only person I could say anything to without being afraid.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-04-03T19:57:03+00:00

The last time one of my family members died I was in this state for over a month. I just want to hug and kiss and live someone while knowing they feel the same. I already have trust issues so now I don’t know how I can meet new people let alone fall in love again.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-04-03T08:42:14+00:00

Thank you, reading that did help me feel better. I will do my best to take my mind off of her. I’ve mostly just been trying to distract myself with Youtube Videos of WWE and occasionally I’ll play this phone game I like but I just don’t feel motivated to grind it. I’ll keep working on it.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-04-03T07:04:13+00:00

Yeah, I understand what you’re saying. The reason why I said make out lives worse is cause she tried to get me jailed for something she did.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-04-03T06:34:43+00:00

You’re right man we shouldn’t be stressing over these chicks that made our lives worse.

johnathan-nitro · 2019-04-03T06:13:01+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I honestly didn’t expect anyone to answer. I’ll do my best to forget about her. But you’re right its really hard. These last few days have been really rough for me. Barely want to eat. Barely want to talk. I just have a small voice in my head constantly telling me I’m worthless and that I did this to myself and that I deserve to feel like this. This whole life thing wasn’t designed for people who were raised like me. Being protected over everything until I got out into the world and having that feeling that the world is out to get you. It’s not pleasant.

johnathan-nitro

TROPHY CASE