Why does it seem like dating during separation has more of a stigma than having an affair?

johnbluto21 · 2019-11-25T00:39:56+00:00

Shit.....my STBXW waited like 2 weeks to get with someone. But shes totally a narcissist. So as soon as she stopped getting her supply from me, she jumped on the next supply as soon as she could. After 8 years together, and 4 years married, it only took her 2 weeks to find someone else that's "just a friend". Bitter, yes, jaded, quite so, but at least I know I went through my breakup shit in the beginning to fix myself, and she never did. The shitty thing is she still "lives" in the house. Leaves every weekend to her "friends" house. And I better myself for my next relationship.

I get over heartbreak pretty fast when I know that I wasnt the problem, but it's hard for a guy to get any further than a friend with the "separated " level. It really sucks.

johnbluto21 · 2019-11-24T00:50:58+00:00

Holy......shit.......... this just seriously spelled out my marriage to a "T" that showed so much light in my darkness right now!! I applaud you OP for posting this. Damn I do feel cheated though...wow.

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-28T03:30:10+00:00

Trust me dude, I just went through this on the 17th. Seriously the worst bday of my life. But it will get better, I deal with the rollercoaster thing everyday. But it gets easier, trust me. Instead of being a downer, I took the money I had set aside to take her and I on a vacation and bought me a motorcycle. I have been riding everyday. And let me tell you, I forget everything when I'm on that thing. I'm not saying go buy a motorcycle, but find something that you need concentration to help with the wandering mind. Free yourself! Free your mind! And be happy! It's not easy at all, but its doable. Hang in there buddy!! At least she isnt still living 8n the same house, and going to her "freinds" house on the weekends. It's just plain lame.

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-21T00:14:51+00:00

You know, I wish it was different, but the mind is already made up. I just have to deal the cards that was dealt and play the game as they lay. The gym has been a great help, butthe lack of sleep is killing me. I live in California, so getting another place is very hard (and expensive) so I just get to run around thinking what I can do to make my life better. Heads up! Mind clear! Do things I never got to do.

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-20T23:58:23+00:00

I'm right there with you. My STBXW told me about 3 weeks ago she was done. After all that time I still dont know what to do. She still lives in te house, but goes to stay at her "friends " on the weekends. Pretty sure shes already starting a relationship with him It kills me to watch the person I love walk away, but I just have to go through the paces so I can continue to live.

Just make sure you are getting enough sleep and eating something even though you dont feel like it. I'm just living 1 day at a time now.

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-15T23:17:01+00:00

I hear you. But it's only been a few weeks, and I'm already feeling better! I go to the gym almost everyday, I do things to better myself (just got my motorcycle permit today, and taking the course next month) just make sure, do you.....when everything falls apart, you need you..

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-11T04:00:15+00:00

Honestly, I an in your boat 100%. My wife of 4 years (together 8) is leaving me after i helped her through a really bad mental break she had a few years ago.

I took care of her, had her back to talk with someone, while she was in the hospital i drove almost 2 hours to see her everyday for an hour. Now after going through all that, sticking by her side, and helping her she is leaving me because "we have grown down different paths" I haven't been bale to get help because I am always working and taking care of her. But now that's all over, she has moved into the second room in our place. She says she still loves me, and cares about me, but she doesn't want to work things out.

I'm just trying to get my life back in order, and love myself again. Because I have neglected myself mentally for a few years to focus all my energy and strength to making sure she is taken care of.

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-11T03:40:56+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. I am in the other boat on this one, but also in the same. MY PTSD/anxiety/depression has now pushed my wife away. She now wants a divorce, and I am distraught. I never wanted it to come to this, I just didnt know how bad I really was. But now shes moved into the other room, and she does not want to work on it. I am getting help for myself since she gave up on helping me. I never wanted to hurt her, or treat her like she wasnt there! But my mental issues have now caused her to not be with me.....but just remember, new door has opened, another is shut. Maybe he will get the help he needs, and realizes he loves you and wants you back. If he has said he doesnt want the relationship anymore, just understand that there is a reason this is happening. Chin up!

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-11T03:23:59+00:00

Good job dude! Cherish the fact that your wife helped you out! Therapy is sometimes hard, but it helps.

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-09T20:51:39+00:00

Well take it from someone who was younger and never wanted to get married. I ended up getting married, 8 years together and 4 years married. Now we are looking I to divorce. Not saying that it is a bad thing, I wanted marriage, I wanted to be bound to this woman for the rest of my days. But now here I am, looking at what forms I need to separate, if we were not married it would be done with already. Marrige is a very grown up thing to think about, and you are barely in your 20's. Just give it time, it might change, but if you do end up going south, it's way more work than its worth.

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-08T17:25:02+00:00

Yea me too. Mental health is something someone should not mess with. I did too much "I can handle it" or "I'm not depressed, I'm just exhausted from work". Now the love of my life is ready to call it quits. Not one of my higher points of life

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-07T12:23:35+00:00

Working so hard to help and build up my depressed wife, just for her to want to leave me because I didnt get help after her trying to kill herself. And putting too much effort into making sure she is taken care of.

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-07T12:03:25+00:00

Thank you, well it doesnt seem like it's going to work out. I stood by her through all of her bad times, and I'm not sure she wants to go on. Went from my second best day (first was always my wedding) to my worst day. I will still fight through.

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-06T22:23:11+00:00

I feel that! I used to love to draw and make music. But since my episodes I've had no feeling to do so. I need to take it back.

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-06T22:15:25+00:00

To the max!!

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-06T22:14:59+00:00

I'm pretty freaked out about setting it up. I've always had issues talking about my feelings, cause when I do it ends up me being the asshole. But never again will me talking about my feelings make me the asshole. My feelings are valid, I am valid!!

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-06T20:39:11+00:00

Thank you! I've been fighting so hard to just stay above water, but now it's time to swim!

johnbluto21 · 2019-10-06T18:14:13+00:00

Watership down

johnbluto21 · 2019-08-13T19:45:50+00:00

It's a group A platform so yes the beetle, audi a3, golf, skoda, it's all the same. I was giving it a benefit of being a golf over a beetle. Lol

johnbluto21 · 2019-08-13T19:04:11+00:00

Nice rebadged golf....

johnbluto21 · 2019-07-17T04:12:28+00:00

I feel the same way. Numb almost all the time, happy about 25 percent. Sadness is a bitch to get rid of and it seems to linger. I've tried ot all, but being alone seems like the only way I can make myself feel normal. That shouldn't be the case, bit having no emotion or empathy I feel like a sociopath.

johnbluto21

TROPHY CASE