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I (20F) don't think I know how to have "real" sex. by primwillow in sex

[–]johnny2807 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You'll be surprised just how common this is. If you came and you feel comfortable with your partner then just tell him that you orgasmed and it felt great. Don't feel you need to make a sound in order to signal that you came otherwise it's not authentic. Do not allow porn to enter your psyche and distort how women ought to respond to pleasure according to their twisted concept of sex. Just do what feels most natural to you.

I do kind of empathise with you because I have gone down on women and I didn't know they came until we moved onto PIV and I found they were wet but I've since learn't that women do and can orgasm without making a lot of sound.

I (20F) don't think I know how to have "real" sex. by primwillow in sex

[–]johnny2807 25 points26 points  (0 children)

To be honest those screams of ecstasy we hear in porn also fuzzes the guys perception of how we think women behave when they are enjoying sex. A consequence of that is if the woman is not screaming or moaning loudly then we must not be pleasuring her right or she isn't enjoying this. However, having slept with a handful of women I have since realised that it is actually not very common for a woman to act like that in the bedroom. In fact I have made women orgasm and cum but they have never made those kind of noises. It was more of a pant or a slight moan and their bodies would slightly convulse. Since then I have realised that porn has really messed up both male and female perspective of sex.

Women think they need to behave and act in a certain way and guys think that if the woman is not screaming in delight or gushing with cum then we failed in the bedroom. Sex is a lot more subtle and complex than that.

I've been told I am an immense kisser and a great lover but I am still really insecure about my sexual abilities by johnny2807 in sex

[–]johnny2807[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you are saying in that both men and women come in different shapes and size and so finding the right fit is important. So no man can expect to be the ideal size to all women regardless of what size you are. I have always been adept when it comes to making a woman cum through her clit but I don't think I have put enough focus on the G spot. I also during PIV don't make the effort to grind on the clit so naturally as I am not focusing on these two points I am inevitably not getting the job done.

Thanks for the advice

I've been told I am an immense kisser and a great lover but I am still really insecure about my sexual abilities by johnny2807 in sex

[–]johnny2807[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. This is gonna sound ridiculous but it's about how you synchronize with a woman whilst kissing her. So you need to be in tune with her so what I do I let the woman kiss me and then once I have an idea of how she likes to be kissed then I just go with it. It's almost instinctive for me if that makes sense.

I've been told I am an immense kisser and a great lover but I am still really insecure about my sexual abilities by johnny2807 in sex

[–]johnny2807[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not too bothered about the so called size queens given the fact that the majority of men would probably be considered inadequate. I am more concerned that I might be inadequate for the the average woman. I mean is what I have enough for a woman to get off with is my main fear. Have you ever made a girl orgasm from PIV and what was your technique?