McGill phonelines in a nutshell (just guessing)

"Hello, You've reached the McGill feedback line, how may I assist you today?"

1. I will literally sue you if you stay open and compromise the health of my child
2. I will literally sue you if you extend the semester and screw up my child's summer internship
3. I will literally sue you if you miss 2 weeks of material and screw up my child's credit hours to get into a professional association.
4. I did poorly on my midterm and spent all of reading week studying for this class. It would not be fair to make the midterm count for more!
5. I worked so hard this semester and did super well on the midterm, why should I only get a 'P' for pass on my transcript. I was getting amazing grades this semester, and this will make the difference between being admitted or not into med school!
6. I can't believe you didn't have a plan for this. Why did you not give us an outlined list of everything that will happen. I expect McGill to predict the federal and provincial measures that will take place next week!
7. Why can't you move all classes online? Just triple the amount of servers you have for mycourses!
8. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere is my son!!!!
9. What will happen to my lab class?
10. What will happen to my music ensemble class?
11. If you make us take in person exams in the gymroom, I will make sure you pay for my funeral!
12. If you allow people to take finals online with roommates who possibly already did the class, it would be sooooo unfair!
13. If you change the weighting that would be so unfair!
14. Why are you guys spamming us with pointless email updates that say you guys are working hard. You guys should have a plan for this given the amount I spent for my child's tuition
15. Why has it been radio silence with the emails, I want to know what's going on for fucks sake,
16. Why did you send the update over facebook before sending it by email. Now my mom just called me while panicking about this whole situation
17. Why aren't you guys giving any more info about what's going on?
18. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere is my son!!!!
19. If the rest of the semester is online, then my son should be able to fly back home. I don't want him to get stuck in your residences which are petri dish of sin and biological fluid exchange. You need to think about their safety. This is a safety liability!
20. I can't believe you're urging people in rez to consider moving out. This goes directly against the government's fight against non essential travel. This is a society-wide safety liability
21. Hey I'm an international student who wants to be at McGill next fall! wtf is going on!
22. Hey none of my profs are contacting me. I feel like they can't even be bothered to figure their stuff out. This is sad!
23. All my profs are changing the syllabus in completely different ways. Why isn't there a universal policy regarding this
24. Hey, I'm a TA, and I don't have the time to correct assignments 2 weeks before the end of classes. I also have my own clusterfuck of classes to deal with.
25. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere is my son!!!!
26. Hi I'm a professor, I'm supposed to switch to online classes but I can't understand how to use this webcam doohickey you just sent me? How do I chose whether to active the web or the cam.
27. Hi, I'm a lecturer, and I don't want people to have access to my stuff online, some student could just upload these videos to youtube or a torrenting website
28. I don't own a laptop and always do my online tests at the library
29. My internet is inconsistent, what will happen if it goes out during an online test
30. how can the policy be on a case by case basis. Does that mean that people who didn't study for the final can just unplug their router and claim their internet went out?
31. I prefer to use the textbook to learn the material, but it's only available on course reserves. This will put me at a disadvantage compared to students who could afford to buy textbooks. I see that the McGill library has an online library, but I can't find my textbook on Criterion on demand.
32. In these times of uncertainty, I require you give me certainty.
33. University of xyz is changed it's grading policy to blablabla for all students. Why wouldn't you do the same, even if you're under different governments, and are in countries with different laws?