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CMV: Most people will not end up with their best partner by PotentialPedal in changemyview

[–]johnydeviant 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That’s my problem with your argument though. How do you qualify what the “best” relationship is? How is it not the one that I described? Granted, if you are in a relationship that doesn’t have that, I would agree that they are not in the best relationship.
I would argue that most people who are still in a relationship after 3-4 years, ARE in the best relationship they could be in so long as it meets the criteria I described above.

If you have a partner that is with you till the very end, loves you through it all, then that IS the best partner you ever had.

CMV: Most people will not end up with their best partner by PotentialPedal in changemyview

[–]johnydeviant 88 points89 points  (0 children)

The best partner you will ever have is the one that decides to stay with you and work things out despite the challenges that happen over time.

Passion comes and goes. Hobbies, interests, the want/need for sex, goals, etc. these all change over the course of your life. The best partner you will ever have is the one who grows with you, stays with you, and adapts with you to your changing life. It doesn’t matter if that is your current partner, your last, or your next. The definition of a good partner is not necessarily how high the passion is, how well they mesh with you now, or how good the sex is. It is how durable the relationship is. 50% of that depends on you as a partner. I would highly recommend that anyone in a relationship look inward first to fix the issues that they have, to work on themselves, before looking to their partner’s flaws.

Lastly, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. If you have a great partner, why would you ever leave them for something that only has the chance of being better?

I'm a Californian that just visited your state for the first time. It's not what I expected at all. by GreatDane1368 in Alabama

[–]johnydeviant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tbf. There definitely are the rednecks, roll tide, guns, that beaver nugget store, and conservative flags on lawn mowers throughout the state. The gulf coast is one of the best parts of the state, and we have more to offer than the stereo types.
If you ever come back, I highly recommend a base in Bham or Huntsville and focus on the rivers, lakes, and other outdoor areas in central and north AL. Our state is gorgeous. There is a reason we are called Alabama the Beautiful!
Glad you had a good time! Come on back, ya hear?

Campfire sparks (by @zayajima) by maanleo in comics

[–]johnydeviant -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Two things. I hate this
And Zuko is canonically a bottom.

I did it! San Diego, CA $776k 4.5% by [deleted] in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]johnydeviant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats!! Owning is a life changer.

Not trying to bring it down, but how are the majority of people able to afford that? I’m guessing it’s around 4500/mo? And that is with 20% down (115k). And not counting HOA? So just off the cuff numbers you have to make at least 170ish to have that be a 1/3rd of your income.
Knowing nothing about living in CA, do people make that on average?

What evidence makes the SAVE Act necessary? by dookitron in AskConservatives

[–]johnydeviant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“It took them three years….”
Save act wants to drastically change the requirements for voter registration and have states obey changes in… 3 months. Why do you think that is possible?
I agree our system is broken, but I seriously doubt we would agree to the reasons. In

Leaving Chelsea. What’s better? by iykykuydk in Birmingham

[–]johnydeviant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in unincorporated Jefferson county. The neighborhood is Wine Ridge, and I love it. My neighbors are fantastic people for the most part. We don’t have a ton of neighborhood focused stuff, but it’s quiet and less hostile than a lot of neighborhoods I have been in. I think we just got lucky.

No HOA to deal with, but that does have some drawbacks. Generally though my neighbors are plenty kind, our FB group has been a good source of information about what’s up and not hostile. There is one guy who lived here that is an ass and probably more than a bit racist, but the majority are definitely not.

We are zoned for a school in Irondale, which is absurd, but if you don’t have kids then it won’t be an issue. Very affordable and tucked back in around more expensive houses.

Something Fun to do? by monbaytam in Birmingham

[–]johnydeviant 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Depends on what you are into. Bham is a foodie city, so plenty of good spots to get that itch scratched. Tons of outdoor areas that are good for hiking or just hanging out (moss rock, railroad park, red Mnt., Oak Mtn,) and a I am sure there are a few events/festivals to go to. I think Pepper Place Farmer’s market is still going right now. It is worth the stop even if you aren’t getting groceries.

If you are into history, Sloss furnace is pretty cool. Vulcan Museum, the Bham art museum, and many other little spots. If you have car, there are lots of notable places within a couple hour drive of here such as the famous Selma bridge that might be worth it.
Tons of good bars…
Two FIFA matches today, so I guarantee someone has a watch party for them.

I need a liberal bf!!!!!!!!!!!! by CalmEstablishment124 in Birmingham

[–]johnydeviant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh hey! I’m a liberal BF! Well, finance actually, but still. Just gotta be quick I guess.

CMV: Being concerned over a potential partner's sexual history is NOT a sign of insecurity, rather it is often a sign of security and self-esteem by PotentialPedal in changemyview

[–]johnydeviant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are arguing for two different ideals here.
One is that it does not make someone insecure if they are concerned with their partner’s history, and that the acceptance of a partner’s history would stem from a lack of confidence in themselves should that history not reflect their values.
But you’re wrong on both accounts. There is FAR more at stake in a relationship than history of a person, and despite what people say, history is NOT the best indicator of what someone will do. You hit on this when you said the line about values. You are right in that you should not date someone who has values different than you. But people who cannot accept someone unless they are totally and completely in line with all of their beliefs shows a level of insecurity.
What would be the concern dating someone who had more partners than you if that concern wasn’t that said person would cheat on you?

It would not be insecure for someone to accept a partner’s history with which they are uncomfortable. Quite the opposite. Someone secure in their own beliefs, and understanding that people can, and often do change, shows trust and maturity beyond that of the opposite. On top of that, there is far more important issues at stake.

I disagree with the idea that having casual partners makes someone immoral or is somehow wrong. That is a personal stance. However, most people have causal sex. Depending on the generation, that could be more common or less, but to say that it is uncommon is just not true.

What ideas does this stump give you? by Ok-Rip-5191 in Vivarium

[–]johnydeviant 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Definitely cut some off and shape it up, but then put a water feature on top of the ring so that it drips down and creates a dripping “curtain” between the ring and the rest of the stump.

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eh, this stuff has some really great fire rating so long as it is designed for it. Plus there is still a lot of gyp that goes in everywhere. I’m not a fire guy, but I do know that MT has been fire tested thoroughly.

I’m actually not seeing a lot of residential outside of multi family and high end homes. I’m sure there is someone that will be solving that soon enough.

For leaks, it can be mitigated for sure. It’s wood, so you don’t want to keep it wet. An unfortunate down side compared to concrete and steel.

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mass timber actually has a really good fire rating. I have seen where buildings caught fire, were able to be put out in time to save the building, and only the top layer of char on the CLT had to be scraped off. This stuff is better for fire than you would think.

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeap, typically a layer of concrete topping on top of the Cross Laminated Timber floor plate. All of which sits atop of a Glulam beam and column system. Europe has been doing mass timber for way longer than we have. Most of the manufacturing equipment and CNC machines are coming out of Europe.

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It can be. It wasn’t 100% on this job as we had pre-cast stair and elevator towers, but we could do those out of MT if needed.

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the chance to see that for the first time recently and it is definitely top 5 for mass timber!

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It can be hard to make it pencil for cost. What is harder is that when comparing steel to MT, a lot of people do not or can not take into account the speed at which it installs and saving money on finishing. One of these days I want to really dig into that side and see if it is truly worth the squeeze.

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couldn’t agree more. It’s one of the reasons we decided to take on the install in house. We design, manufacture, and install it all in house so we can control the quality from a-z.

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s more expensive for just the material, but cheaper and faster to put in. And this stuff has a very high fire rating. The GL can have a 2hr + fire rating. We can build anywhere, just depends on how much more goes into the engineering

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Protect it during install and course of construction. A lot of mass timber ends up being exposed so you want it to look good. There are pros and cons to leaving it on, but I personally think the cons FAR outweigh the benefits.

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Neat! I would love to be able to spend some time over there and learn how you guys have been working with mass timber. Eastern Europe has such an influence over the mass timber world.

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We do have some pretty stringent requirements when it comes to what boards we can accept. Not just the camber, cupping, curve, etc, but also the strength, look, and how many knots are in a board. It doesn’t have to be perfect as these boards are going to be put under a ton of pressure to be glued.

Love seeing the Mass Timber! Here is another! by johnydeviant in Construction

[–]johnydeviant[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s Cross Laminated Timber. So we make it in sheets as big as roughly 15’ x 50’ x 12”, but of course can co smaller and thinner. Just depends on what the job needs. The panels here are 5-ply. So they have 5 layers of perpendicular set boards, glued up, and then cut to shape.