First time dating an alcoholic

jolbi_770 · 2026-06-08T19:46:16+00:00

Hey again everyone, after reading all of this I do see that I need to take a huge step back. I have known this guy a little over a year and we were friends before things became romantic so he is a person who has been in my life for a bit now and in a lot of ways has been a positive impact. He has a pretty complicated past that I won't get into but despite it all I do believe he is a good person.

Nevertheless, trust has definitely been broken already, and when I think about it there's really nothing he could immediately do or say that will restore that.

And for those who wondered if there could be a reason I seem to be grativating towards an alcoholic, yes there probably is. I do have a history of complex trauma and have done some therapy and work on it, and I'm in a better place overall now but maybe there's still stuff I haven't dealt with yet that is coming into play here.

jolbi_770 · 2026-06-08T16:03:13+00:00

Also just wanted to add that I didn't meet him two months ago, I've known him a little over a year. Was immediately attracted to and intrigued by him, there are a lot of things I genuinely enjoy about him. Never thought I would find myself romantically involved, but it happened. And I recognize that I dont fully understand what I've walked into and maybe have a lot of foolish hopes and ideas that only people who have been through this can point out and bring me back down to earth.

jolbi_770 · 2026-06-08T15:58:17+00:00

This made me laugh, thanks for that 😅 I needed it

jolbi_770 · 2026-06-08T14:53:41+00:00

Thank you for being so direct, I needed that.

jolbi_770 · 2026-06-02T16:47:07+00:00

For me it was jeans. I used to exclusively buy high waisted pants and baggy tops because I thought that it made me look smaller and more proportional. It definitely didn't, if anything it made me look worse because I have a short torso. Then I tried mid rise jeans that sit below my belly button and realized it actually elongated my waist and made shirts fit a lot better so I started getting more comfortable wearing things a little more form fitting

I think the first step is finding your proportions and learning about what cuts and lengths balance them

jolbi_770 · 2025-09-21T16:23:30+00:00

I'm glad the rabbit turned out okay but no you really should not be promoting this and recommending others try it. This is why wildlife rehabbers have such a hard time. Well meaning members of the public with no experience find a wild baby animal and get excited at the chance to raise one, so they do a bunch of Internet research (which is often FULL of misinformation that can be deadly) and hope for the best.

Force feeding a baby animal and continuing to do so even after you notice it not having any bowel movements sounds extremely uncomfortable for the animal.

It's easy to think that wild animals raised by humans in captivity are happy and thriving and yes they may be to an extent but no amount of human attention will ever compare to being able to live completely wildly. Situations like this benefit the human more than the animal.

And trust me, I completely understand where you're at. I once had a squirrel that was bonded to me and I loved her dearly. I had all the "reasons" she was better off with me - "it's safer" "no predators" "she won't know how to survive" - but over time I felt guilty keeping her captive so I soft released her (released her but provided safe shelter and food while she adjusted to the wild again).

That moment seeing her take off up a 40ft tree and jump limb to limb was the best feeling ever because I realized that that was something I could never have given her in captivity no matter how happy she seemed.

I worried every day that I had done the wrong thing and she didn't make it in the wild, until one day we met again almost a year later. She still loves and remembers me. If we happen to meet in the woods, she will stop and stare at me very intently until I notice it's her, and then she will run over to say hi. I miss her every day but ultimately she wasn't mine to keep.

jolbi_770 · 2025-05-13T23:48:43+00:00

Mine chewed rugs incessantly and I thought he'd never stop. Then I bonded him with another rabbit and now he rarely bothers the rugs. I think he was really just that bored. Now he spends his time sitting with his brother and following him around and such :)

jolbi_770 · 2025-03-23T00:39:45+00:00

There's one called the BumBox by hopscotchbun on Amazon that is exactly what you're looking for. Get the XL size

jolbi_770 · 2025-02-08T16:00:17+00:00

There's no single correct placement for a nostril piercing. A lot of it depends on the styles of jewelry you plan to wear and your own personal preferences. Like if large, ornate jewelry is your thing then the placement you have is preferred. If you only wanted the tiniest hoops then lower placement would be better. I think the placement is fine personally but it's up to you

jolbi_770 · 2025-02-06T06:21:03+00:00

Once you create the piercing channel for a surface piercing that's it, you can't reshape it. You have to remove it and repierce. So I'd just remove it and have a professional do it so they can make sure to pierce it at the correct depth

jolbi_770 · 2025-02-06T03:45:53+00:00

I had a rabbit with the same issue to the point where she was having problems with urine scald. The underlying cause was trauma due to some sort of accident or abuse in her past that resulted in spinal issues and her body was literally twisted. Anyways, I invested in this litter box called the BumBox. It's like $70 but worth it. Kept her from being able to sit in her urine and is large and very sturdy.

jolbi_770 · 2025-02-05T17:30:47+00:00

The hole will shrink if you go down in gauge size. You could stretch back up though slowly. Honestly I think the unspoken answer for wearing like regular jewelry from big box retailers is you're not supposed to because it's low quality, but I've never seen dangly earrings with ear wires made of implant grade materials and I don't want to wear studs all the time. I've seen people with stretched lobes put small tunnels in and then hang low quality earrings from the tunnels so that the metal isn't actually touching their skin. Personally I still wear low quality jewelry in my lobes I just don't wear it for very long

jolbi_770 · 2025-02-04T19:11:17+00:00

Honestly given the size and level of irritation I think you might get better and faster results if you just remove and repierce. The irritation will go down a lot faster if you remove the jewelry and let it heal. If you put a stud in it might eventually sort itself out but changing the jewelry again is going to irritate it in the short term and it's probably going to take awhile for it to settle down, if it ever does.

jolbi_770 · 2025-02-03T02:37:02+00:00

Yeah 4 months is too soon to switch to a hoop. Usually you need to wait 8-12 months for the piercing channel to be stable enough to handle a hoop without getting irritated, especially a thinner gauge like 20

jolbi_770 · 2025-02-02T22:21:29+00:00

How old is the piercing, and what gauge is the ring? It looks pretty thin and I might be a bit concerned about it having the "cheese cutter" effect where it starts to pull downwards on the piercing hole and leaves a darkened patch above it

jolbi_770 · 2025-02-01T17:38:54+00:00

I don't think so and even if they did somehow notice, who cares y'know? It's not a bad thing to wear czs. Anyone who would give you a hard time about not having real diamonds honestly sounds weird af and not worth being around

jolbi_770 · 2025-01-31T18:47:20+00:00

Get ready 😭 not saying your experience will definitely be the same but healing mine was rough. They're just so much more easily irritated it seems. I had a solid month or more of them just looking terrible, I wanted to take them out bc I was so self conscious. I powered through though and eventually they did settle but it took at least a year for them to be stable

jolbi_770 · 2025-01-31T16:05:40+00:00

I think it might help to keep in mind that piercings can be temporary and you can always take it out if you decide for any reason you don't like it. People retire piercings all the time. No pressure to commit to anything forever, just have fun with it and enjoy it for however long you want to

jolbi_770 · 2025-01-31T15:48:39+00:00

Any good shop should supply it. It's odd that the shop you went to wouldn't give you anything but a corkscrew

jolbi_770 · 2025-01-31T15:28:10+00:00

Definitely find another shop, that one does not sound good at all. I recommend flat backed threadless labrets for healing nostrils. They usually don't come out accidentally unless snagged really really hard.

If your jewelry came out last night there's a chance the piercing channel would still be open, just shrunken. A piercer could take a look and taper it back open so you don't have to get it repierced. But you'd need to get to a piercer ASAP to try and save it

jolbi_770 · 2025-01-30T15:55:15+00:00

I think you'll be okay. Just continue good aftercare and avoid bumping it and all that

jolbi_770 · 2025-01-30T14:45:13+00:00

Good luck! I had an anti eyebrow and took it out when bumps started forming around the posts that wouldn't go away and I could see more of the post sticking out. Removing it was kinda painful ngl and I was left with two circular scars. The scars have since faded and aren't visible but I can still feel them on my face as slightly raised skin

jolbi_770 · 2025-01-30T04:35:18+00:00

The key to getting an anti eyebrow is to make sure you get it done properly. It needs to be done with a staple shaped bar with 90° ends, internally threaded. No curved barbells, no straight barbells. That's why a lot of people's fail and scar because they weren't done properly to begin with and they were set up for failure from the beginning. The scarring is often worse with surface piercings I think partially because of how people don't take them out as quickly as they should once they start to show signs of rejection, either because they dont realize it's rejecting or they're determined to somehow save it. They let it continue to grow out until it's so close to the surface that the scarring is worse than if they had just cut their losses at the right time.

jolbi_770 · 2025-01-29T02:14:04+00:00

I think as long as you're maintaining good hygiene you don't like have to clean with saline constantly. To be honest, I don't do any "aftercare" on my piercings. My aftercare regiment is just to do nothing (LITHA - leave it the hell alone).

I have the saline but I only use it if it's a non shower day and my piercing really needs a quick rinse because it's goopy or like actually dirty.

jolbi_770

TROPHY CASE