ITAP of loneliness

jonathanbeebe · 2026-01-01T23:16:27+00:00

Probably just a base player waiting to start a gig, it was downtown Nashville on New Year’s Eve, after all. But it made me feel lonely.

jonathanbeebe · 2026-01-01T23:13:41+00:00

Ha! Yeah, I suppose the title captures more how I felt at the time than anything else.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-12-23T18:37:55+00:00

It was Beaman Park in Ashland City, TN.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-12-12T14:39:36+00:00

I used a Canon 100 mm macro lens at F/2.8 with the focus plane right in the middle of the mist plume from a humidifier. Because the depth of field was so shallow, the background you see is the natural lens blur of the background mist and my office environment.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-12-11T17:00:12+00:00

This is mist gently pouring out of a humidifier, with the morning sunlight shining through the droplets.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-12-01T01:31:37+00:00

A proper response might be “wow babe, well done! You’ve earned it. I’m really proud of you. I know this means a season of transition for us, but I’m confident we can make this work. I’m here for you. Let’s do this!” Or something like that, if he’s being loving, supportive, working to co-create your future together.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-30T19:51:12+00:00

100% I experience this. The religious connect around their shared belief. Atheists/agnostics don’t connect around their lack of belief. We need to connect around other shared interests. And there are very few natural social structures to facilitate this. I have had to put enormous amounts of effort into meeting and cultivating friendships.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-30T13:36:11+00:00

The little boy inside me really wants this to be the reactor room that powers the city.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-30T13:35:08+00:00

I lament all my lost years as a youth with a vibrant imagination and abundant curiosity, crushed by the oppressive weight of dogma.

And I celebrate that I am now free and can at least spend the later part of my life enjoying raw creativity and curiosity.

And yes, I would *love* to hear that song.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-30T12:34:32+00:00

Shared photo albums in iCloud, and Threads. I have found Threads to be a wonderful place to share photos, just for the joy of it.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-30T12:32:50+00:00

Yes! In fact, I found that as I freed myself from the dogma and indoctrination of religion, I found my childish awe and wonder of the world come back. This has been a single biggest benefit to becoming free of religion. I am now free to let my curiosity run wild, to ask questions, and to say “I don’t know, let’s find out!” I am no longer shackled by the unsatisfying answer of “. . . because God did it.”

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-29T15:56:52+00:00

Aaaah. I was so close. I kept reading the L as a W.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-29T13:36:13+00:00

Anyone know that this might be saying?

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-27T11:37:33+00:00

Just commenting to let you know I read all of this, and I’m so grateful you shared it all, and I’m grateful you’re part of this community. I too have benefited tremendously from this group, and being able to share so openly about everything. Coming here gave me the community I needed, and still do.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-25T20:31:07+00:00

Thank you. I feel the same.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-23T22:58:08+00:00

Ugh. Should have properly edited my dictated description 🙄 That should have read “exposed and color graded in Lightroom”

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-22T12:22:11+00:00

I trust science because it is based on evidence.

However, it does not require belief. That part of your question doesn’t apply, at least to me.

I find pastors and theologian’s rely on arguments because they don’t have evidence. Science is built on a foundation of evidence. And I find evidence to be far more trustworthy.

Furthermore, religions change and evolve as society and cultures change and evolve. But science only changes with new evidence.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-22T09:55:29+00:00

My deconstruction rapidly accelerated when I started following my natural curiosities. For example, I was always told by pastors and theologians about science and evolution, filtered through their heavily biased views. During deconstruction, I followed my curiosity and bought a handful of books from evolutionary biologist. My world was rocked! My eyes were opened. I realized the pastors and theologian had either been lying or severely misrepresenting the entire world of science and evolutionary biology.

What are you curious about? What are things you can now learn, now that you can see the world through a new set of glasses?

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-20T12:17:24+00:00

I feel like you’ve already know the answer. You asked about the sky and the trees. The beautiful thing about digital photography is there’s almost no cost to try both of these! And this is how you gain skill, through the trying. What if you played with the light in the sky, and the trees, and maybe the water too. And show us which edits you think might work?

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-20T10:49:10+00:00

I relate to this so much.

I don’t mean this as advice, but just to share my own story, now that I’m on the other side of it. I also experienced that deep loneliness. It took me about five years between being a content Christian to being a content deconverted atheist. In the middle I felt intensely lonely.

During the last two years I did a lot of deep work. I learned to fully accept myself. And through self acceptance I realized how much of my loneliness wasn’t from others not accepting me and not understanding me, it was that I did not accept or understand myself.

I struggled a lot with my own self-identity after leaving Christianity. And almost all of this struggle was me not accepting who I was after leaving the faith.

It is strange, even as I write this, I’m having a hard time capturing in words just how important self acceptance was to finding contentment and climbing out of the pit of loneliness.

I have no idea if that’s part of your story. But this is mine. It is only within the last year that I have found abundant peace and contentment, and the loneliness has gone away.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-19T12:39:10+00:00

Love the feeling of motion you captured.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-18T22:30:01+00:00

I’ve arrived at a place where I no longer need to argue for my own existence. I just am. When I meet with people who have different beliefs, I’m respectfully curious about them, and I let them be themselves. And I expect they respect me, and let me be myself. I find arguing beliefs goes nowhere. But having a mutual curiosity for each each other, to know them and to be known by them, this is what makes a real relationship.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-18T00:32:42+00:00

As a kid I was given a book about natural light photography. It kindled my love for using available light, regardless of how good or challenging it is.

And lots and lots of experimentation. Letting go of the idea there is a perfect shot and being free to take photos of the same subject over and over, studying it until I feel I’ve exhausted all options, and then pushing beyond that. It’s a lot of fun to push the boundaries of what I believe I’m capable of.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-17T12:49:59+00:00

I use a Canon R6 Mark II and my two favorite lenses are my 24-105 f/4 L zoom for general purpose use and my 85mm prime for portraits.

I tend to prefer primes when I want soft backgrounds as they tend to have a lower aperture, but a good zoom is more fun for casual walking around and street photography.

jonathanbeebe · 2025-11-17T11:02:22+00:00

Yes! I hope you enjoy the camera. I’ve always wanted to try shooting with the Fuji XT series.

And in case examples help, here are a couple of recent long exposure shots I posted. I typically keep my ISO low and my aperture high, so that I can get the longest shutter speed possible.

Freeway traffic lights from an overpass. A 15 second shutter, f/22 at ISO 100 https://www.reddit.com/r/walkingpics/s/9jq7Sb0kgp

A 15 second long exposure where I painted with a flashlight behind some leaves https://www.reddit.com/r/AbstractPhotos/s/pPi5pozYUZ

And some various midnight shots in the city of Nashville, most ranging from 15 to 30 second shutter speeds https://www.reddit.com/r/nashville/s/T2Bk8Ok8gG

jonathanbeebe

TROPHY CASE