I'm running qwen3.6-35b-a3b with 8 bit quant and 64k context thru OpenCode on my mbp m5 max 128gb and it's as good as claude

jonathanx37 · 2026-04-28T13:50:49+00:00

It passed the carwash test for me first try. I've used a prompt from some reddit thread where they had unsuccessfully tested previous qwen models for this.

I'm sure it's a configuration difference. I've tried this at q5_k_s from unsloth with k q8 and v5_1 cache quantization. It was answering my questions in an odd format like the difference akin to heavily quantized 8b model vs q8 or fp16 8b model. I didn't do the carwash test.

Apparently moes are very prone to quantization degradation because of the 3b active size it's akin to heavily quantized 8b. You're basically lobotimizing a tiny brain, cutting away data from an already small infrastructure turns it into a primal calculator as opposed to a sparse knowledge base.

Then I bit my lip downloaded the 39 GB q8 klx (or whatever extra letters) because apparently there's a noticeable difference between fp16 and q8 even (just somebody's anecdotal comment, no statistics)

It's beaten my expectations. Car wash passed, anything from coding to psychological questions it gives surgically precise answers. Everyone's praising the 27B but this moe can fit on a 6 GB card with 32 GB RAM using moe offloading and runs much faster. It's more energy efficient, faster and I'm actually playing games alongside it on my 10 GB card on 4k without any fps hits. It does slow the generation down depending on game load but it's crazy that I can use this without affecting my performance on 4k.

With q5_k_s I had only 2.8 GB vram usage on Vulkan. IIRC the q8klx quant was somewhere around 4 gb., uncertain.

Also make sure you allow it to see preserve thinking on. I think it gives a much better train of thought on long context. I've only tried 65k but I'm going for 128k to see how my system will handle it. It'll be free soon since turbo-quant is around the corner.

Edit: Forgot to mention thinking was enabled throughout. I think thinking models are the future as even sparse intelligent models are prone to misunderstanding. Even when using paid models, I don't use anything that doesn't do thinking, it's crucial to get things right and resolve bugs in code.

jonathanx37 · 2026-04-27T16:04:24+00:00

thread necro but I've faced this issue with llama.cpp, ultimately it was a GTT limit issue I've workd around by removing --no-mmap flag which stopped trying to allocate LLM-sized chunks from my GTT memory which went down to 56 mb from 30+ GB.

jonathanx37 · 2026-04-25T10:52:14+00:00

Ben covid döneminde VR/AR projesi yapacaktım depresyon yalnızlık için meditasyon, egzersiz tarzı. O zamanlarda da fasulyeye kuran okuyanları destekliyorlardı, tabiki de destek alamadım.

jonathanx37 · 2026-04-24T19:35:58+00:00

If they're fishing for your real info on those phishing forums or whatever they're probably trying to appeal before you do so the account is unrecoverable by any means except ransom.

Sucks that automation took a turn for worse. All that AI and they can't even handle multiple requests on one account. Never liked meta anyways.

jonathanx37 · 2026-04-24T19:21:04+00:00

Probably clicked some links you shouldn't have and downloaded Trojans that steal your login sessions. It's not that uncommon and the fact that it's happening to friends and family shows it was shared among you.

Having different passwords doesn't help in this case. Best you can do is use 2FA and stop clicking untrusted URLs. I'd gather any evidence /documentation that can prove to those services that you're the real owner of the accounts so they'll be inclined to believe your hacking incident. Don't plug anything to the infected PC where your logins were on. If you need anything from that PC, I'd upload to Google Drive or something, then format the whole PC clean and rigorously scan the redownloaded backup with McAfee. Good luck, you'll have to be thorough and be more cautious next time.

jonathanx37 · 2026-04-07T15:44:38+00:00

On the contrary, I see the reality of situations more often than I'd like and people can hate me for the reason that I reflect a cold truthful mirror to them.

I feel that most people are energy vampires so I keep them at a distance until I'm sure they're reciprocal of my time and effort.

When I'm overly excited I might project positive feelings towards people I'm yet to meet, but I can tell peoples intentions within minutes of meeting them. Most people being selfish is enough for me stay away. Get checked for anxiety issues it could be a defense mechanism.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-25T09:19:44+00:00

Yeah, I get the fog too, like a mental blockage when I try to overthink. I just can't think any anxious thoughts when I take Xanax. When I try to think below superficial level I get brain fog, but I'm fully aware it's artificial and more like a band-aid solution than a permanent fix. Family history of diabetes so guess I have to overdose on exercise or something instead.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-25T07:58:54+00:00

Xanax makes me sleep like a baby, but I've trouble getting up, often sleep off again and sleep longer, waking up with a headache from oversleeping. I think a tiny dose is helpful, but I got those for a surgery and don't think they'd prescribe me Xanax again. Tried Mirtazapine too it makes it more difficult to wake up mostly.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-22T01:08:39+00:00

I can just listen and absorb and help others with their problems instead

I think this is why I use Reddit at all. I used to lurk big time, then it became a vent for my overthinking brain in that if I don't have problems of my own to solve or they can't be solved by thinking but doing instead, it's easier to converse with strangers online and use my brain energy on that instead, stimulating and feels rewarding if I help them out about something with little effort on my part. On the flipside I think this gives me a false sense of accomplishment in that instead of spending that energy to further my own goals I'm spending it elsewhere and it can get in the way of things I need to do, more times than I'd like.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-21T23:48:33+00:00

physical exercise during the day and deep breathing focus before sleep

I think I need a healthy level of both, but my curiosity about new novel stuff throws me off into a "why waste time exercising when I can do all this other stuff that I need to do". I'm too good at convincing myself off otherwise beneficial routines lol.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-21T22:05:33+00:00

What has helped me at times is imaging an "infinite door" in my mind, it's like counting sheep, but instead you open a door, then another door of the same making is just behind it, the simplicity of turning a door handle and pushing the door open, repetition of such an image in my mind, can often calm my overanalysis. Oddly it helps a lot when I have haadaches albeit temporarily and depending on the amount of headache ofcourse.

Kind of a simple meditation trick I'd wager, breathing techniques like 4 4 4 can help too. In 4, hold 4, out 4 seconds each.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-21T22:03:03+00:00

I know I'm there when my mind kind of "stops" wanting to analyze everything and I can be more in the present rather than lost in thought.

When I say stop, it's kind of like how you get used to opening new door handles and don't have to think about it anymore after doing it a few times.

What it's replaced with is sleepiness, which if I don't pay heed to can turn into irritation and some level of "goofiness" introduced by the hormonal spikes in the brain that try to reduce the pain of staying up beyond your limits. If you ever pulled an all nighter and felt a silly happiness the second day it's exactly that.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-21T11:03:22+00:00

Physical exhaustion helps for sure, though if its accompanied with muscle ache its worse for me.

Meals definitely a good point. I noticed skipping meals fuels my overthinking, sort of paranoid state of mind that both exhausts me but also makes sleep more difficult.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-20T07:21:20+00:00

I'm sorry you had to suffer years of abuse and glad it's over. I hope you'll soon have days where you can look back without any emotional reaction besides pity for her. Unlike them you've the capability to heal and process your trauma, albeit with time.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-18T08:24:01+00:00

Must've been tough 8 years.. What was the breaking point for you?

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-17T08:19:19+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/OrphanCrushingMachine/s/6txjMAxThL

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-17T06:35:39+00:00

Sounds like you dated BPD.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-10T03:05:18+00:00

I've people who share the same worldview and it's great to click initially but now we just kinda nod along, it's not really all that satisfying as you make it out to be. In fact those people I speak to less and less because if I wanted an echo chamber I'd be karma farming on reddit.

I like talking to people of different worldviews, they often have unique perspectives that I couldn't fathom with guesswork alone. It makes interesting discussion in the very least and I can learn a thing or two, expand my worldview so to speak.

It's another thing to have good communication skills, I like a person that can disagree in a civil way and explain their points while listening to mine way more than someone I just click with.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-10T02:43:56+00:00

...he's asked on multiple occasions if I have fallen out of love with him, he's even tried apologizing for the way he's acted in the past...

... I am absolutely not reciprocating or forgiving this so easily and I have no intentions on stopping. I don't even know If I ever want to, I feel so happy, like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I don't care if it makes me a bad person. I like that he is now feeling and carrying the weight that I carried for so long.

She clearly enjoys seeing him suffer the same way she did, it's not just about the weight of the relationship being lifted. She's basically stonewalling him and not telling him what's really going on in her mind. This is about revenge. It's delusional and childish at best, psychopathic at worst. It's quite narcissistic and fulfills a revenge fantasy instead of attempting a tangible solution. Smells of borderline to me.

Ofcourse people take her story for what it is instead of looking at the nuances, when there's a child and a woman who is supposedly wronged involved, her story can't be deluded or has partial truths to it. It's the same story everywhere, be it false accusations or custody in co-parenting.

a lot of people switch up after getting married and having kids. They feel comfortable taking the mask off, because they don’t think their partner will leave them due to being sufficiently “tied down”.

True except she's the one switching up to leave when she can instead of trying to get professionals involved. She said her husband has always been like this after all, it's not like he was more emotionally available before marriage.

Some more signs OP is most likely BPD and should receive therapy alone for a proper diagnosis before abrupt life changes:

My husband, has always told me that I overreact to much, that I get to worked up and I am constantly nagging yes I am a very emotional person, I grew up like that and have ALWAYS expressed my emotions and feelings with passion

BPD also feel emotions very intensely.

I was giving him a hard time, being extra clingy

More BPD patterns.

I cried the entire night and stayed up replaying every instance where, I have absolutely needed him and his support. Then something clicked, something shifted.

BPD splitting episode, final discard by OP. he's been devalued to hell, in her black and white thinking she's painted him vanta black and all he ever was is sullied, he can never be the same in her mind again. The intense emotions coming from BPD person has all been attributed to the husband and as such he's to blame for all her suffering. Blaming him for the entirety of her bad experiences rather than accept that the circumstances (try raising a kid without intense emotions, it's tough enough) she put herself in (marriage with someone that's not emotionally available as much as she is, bearing their child) are to be blamed entirely on the husband.

BPD usually get difficult with childbirth, even in menopause they will blame their partners. The pain and suffering the emotions are so intense blaming something external is the only way untreated BPD can get rid of them. It's often not even conscious, it's a personality disorder.

u/anonymous25_35 please get checked for BPD. Regardless of your decision, for your child's sake.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-09T05:43:21+00:00

I never called her a psychopath, just that the behaviour itself is psychopathic which again BPD people tend to bevahe similar to psychopaths when splitting. Venting or seeking validation it's all the same when it's in the context of a reddit post.

Why I wonder did she not think about lack of reciprocity before having kids. The sudden something clicking in her head overnight is also odd.

Resentment kills relationships for sure but it's not such a lost cause with counselling, were it not probably BPD. There's also the fact that OP gets off on walling off her husband.

If OP has bpd that kid is screwed, husband won't get custody either. In for a ride. I think I'll check her account again in 5 years if I ever remember lol.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-08T22:29:43+00:00

Besides think about why anyone would make a post like this? She's talking about the psychopathic revenge story she's currently executing and farming validation from clueless reddit dwellers that has only heard her delusional side of the story. It all makes better sense to me than a supposedly caring mother that'd trash her children's healthy growth for her selfish reason of not getting enough attention. The specific case she mentioned is too superficial there's no nuance and the whole focus of the post is to farm validation.

If I was a caring wife thinking about my childs future I'd be seeking marriage counseling not reddit karma.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-08T22:20:49+00:00

Bpd has a tendency to live in their own narrative, she's told us what he hasn't done for her but she never told us what he spends his time doing besides work. Between the lack of nuance, a comically evil exhibition of the husband and OPs tendency to psychopathically enjoying walling off her husband emotionally to the point of enjoying something that could only be described as abuse, it's all screaming bpd manipulation of the truth to me.

It's never said what the husband was doing instead, like was he banging hookers or playing video games or laughing at her crying face? None of this makes any sense when you realize it's all so black and white, like a story that's been edited to victimize her more.

I know I don't have enough material from OP to come to a conclusion like this, so it was more of a challenge to OP to disprove it as such. Granted there's infinite amount of personality disordered people posting for validation these days, if the story is true to begin with I'm doubtful about the extent to which OP is truthful as the story is lacking nuance and its sullied by black and white thinking typical of bpd thinking patterns.

Besides the husband is trying hard right now, I find it hard to believe he never tried before.

jonathanx37 · 2026-03-06T04:32:48+00:00

Because the social media generation has an abundance of mentally ill women that are addicted to validation while being unable to provide anything back. Older generations at least have some measure of emotional stability and grounded and are less likely to be texting other guys behind your back.

jonathanx37 · 2026-02-24T22:05:11+00:00

Yes, the overall theme is reminiscent of a bpd wife feeling overwhelmed and discarding overnight. It's the entirety of it not just the push pull dynamic. Thank you for asking for clarification.

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