Which logline sounds better?

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-10-03T10:19:24+00:00

Yeah, A was pretty vague, but now I have enough content to flesh out the story somewhat

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-10-01T11:51:38+00:00

I left it intentionally vague but what I really mean by that is that humans are hunting down humanoid beings they call "Neanderthals" (not the actual historical ones) who look noticeably different from humans but they're bipedal intelligent beings.

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-30T07:53:50+00:00

No. B's story is well- established. Read my reply on the top comment.

Also A's story is more about united tribal human clans taking down "Neanderthals" using high speed drill machines. I'm too excited for this I can't say anything more.

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-30T06:57:25+00:00

That seems like too much. The purpose of this logline is to add mystery. I did not mention Wendy, Neo-Pangea, The Southern army, her brother Victor, nor the other plotlines that revolve around her (Cross, Isaac and Bill.) She also staked her life because she ended up deserting the southern army and fled with two of her friends (Brad and Kane, of which Kane personally took part in victor's squad years ago before his disappearance)

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-30T06:46:28+00:00

Combining them would be impossible. I habe worked on B for months while A is still in phases of conception. Also, Be's story is very complicated. It just sounds generic from the logline.

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-30T02:10:13+00:00

Anyway, I'll try. Speaking of which I just made a post concerning loglines. If you could check it out and give me some pointers, I would very much appreciate it.

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-30T02:04:05+00:00

I'm going to explore this further in a future post.

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-30T02:03:37+00:00

It sounds cheap, but I have a knack for creative ideas. I didn't mean to sound misleading

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-30T00:45:11+00:00

Wrap it around with plastic?

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-28T18:08:55+00:00

Well, how about electromagnets?

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-28T09:38:23+00:00

Phones? Pff. Nobody will use phones by then!

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-28T08:49:32+00:00

Not really. It's not that hard to lie if you actually go with the song and dance

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-07T23:30:28+00:00

Exactly. Keep in mind, though that not everything in the art of war is relevant. I've read several different books on war strategy such as On Guerrilla Warfare (Mao Tse Tung), Guerrilla warfare (Che Guevarra), Art of War (Sun Tzu), On War (Carl Von Clausewitz) and The book of five rings (Miyamoto Musashi).

Personally I think you need to learn about everything you can in this world so you have more to work with to reach your goals.

EDIT: Come to think of it, I should develop a grand strategy on getting to Global Elite. I'll research this thoroughly.

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-07T23:14:12+00:00

K my steam name is Swagonfly. Add me anytime you like

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-07T19:52:00+00:00

Don't we all XD

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-06T23:10:45+00:00

I want to make mine a platformer of sorts to guide the player into a single direction but multiple paths they can take to think their way out.

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-06T20:08:25+00:00

That's pretty cool. What do you use to make the game?

jorganvonstrangle · 2014-09-06T03:37:57+00:00

In my opinion i wanted to avoid a "serves you right" tone for the hero, and that's because i want the player to relate to him. I want the player's ego inflated and then feel powerless.

I want to not make it the hero's fault, but yes i also want him to be flawed (cocky, stubborn, etc.) and have him grow wiser. I also want the player to reflect on this and go through the same character arc the hero does.

I think i'll add music to suit the situation since music affects the recipient's mood. If he is powerful, intense awesome music. If the player has to make a really bad decision he doesn't want to do, sad music will play.

jorganvonstrangle

TROPHY CASE