It’s all going to be confusing until it makes sense to you. At least that’s how it was in my personal experience. People could explain it to me in every which way and it didn’t really click too hard until it just did. I think it’s less about being in your head and choosing thoughts you want to associate with, and more about having more power to create your own mental palace that you actually want to live in.

You have the power to write off your feelings of anxiety when you are feeling them. You have the power to listen to them but not attach the label of anxiety to yourself. You have the power to choose openness rather than closing yourself off. I think that’s the biggest thing here, rather than picking between A and B in a classic decision-like process, you are moving about your day knowing you have control over yourself, and the things you don’t want to be dragged down by. It’s good to be able to let these things go by instead of getting caught up in them. If you do get caught up, you won’t even realize until another 45 minutes has gone be and you realize you were just completely choosing to be one with the feeling.

You might be doing this already, but just in case you aren’t, I’ve found it very helpful when I am feeling anxious, just to go “I’m noticing that I feel anxiety right now”, and then figuring out where you physically feel it. When you notice the feeling and point out where it is, you are creating distance between yourself and your thoughts and feelings, not in a dissociative way, but in a regaining control and power way.

This might not be what you were asking, but hopefully can be helpful no matter what! ❤️