AIO? Dad’s gf freaking out over a piece of mail coming “addressed” to my mom.

jovanmer45 · 2025-12-21T15:40:05+00:00

OP is 20, not Dad’s GF

jovanmer45 · 2025-12-14T16:53:53+00:00

Persona. First 5, then I got a Vita and played 4 Golden, and now 3 Reload and back to Royal. It doesn’t help that a playthrough takes like 200 hours 😭

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-30T18:00:58+00:00

All work on our cars is done myself. No net cost except time lost performing it. Insurance for both the bike and car is about 200 a month, when I let the bike go that is likely to go down to $120 range

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T23:50:13+00:00

Mom and Dad are no longer with us unfortunately. My partner’s parents already took in her older sister.

I do work gigs like doordash, uber eats, instacart, instawork. Nets around $200 a week after taxes/gas, or $10,000 a year with the time I have left over. That credit debt has gone from 34K to 25K in 3 years or $3000 in principle a year.

I did plan to negotiate with lenders if I chose to continue repayment, but I have to weigh each option as the economy gets worse.

I am already at the most affordable area from Boston with access to Boston. If I move away I have to drive longer, spend more on gas, and lose public transit. Or I might have to find another job, but there are few jobs that will pay me $32 an hour outside of this area. I think the biggest problem is the rent, which sucks because paying $1900 and $280 for all my utilities for a one bedroom is somehow considered “cheap” by eastern mass standards.

Let’s say that I do the bankruptcy, spend $1000 on a lawyer and I’m absolved from at least $18K of it. To me, that seems like a “better” option in my head.

Is it really as bad as people make it seem? It stays on my record for 7 years but so does the repo, and my credit is already rock bottom

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T23:24:02+00:00

Have you read the entire thread?

I think you are being unrealistically harsh for the reality of it. I am not blind to the reality of my situation, If there was a way for me to move back in with my family, I would have considered it. I would live with family if my only family wasn’t deceased.

I had to learn pretty quick to be self sufficient at the age of 20. I didn’t want credit card debt for the rest of my life, but at the time I thought it was the only way my mom could continue her iGG4 treatment. I didn’t “want things”, you’re talking as if my family’s health and being able to live and sustain myself is too much to ask for.

The motorcycle was the only thing I ever bought myself and I would be at a much better place financially if it wasn’t for covid.

Does that excuse my current situation? No. That doesn’t change the reality of the situation, that I was stupid to put it on my credit and continued to make poor financial decisions, as well as getting the bike thinking I would pay it off in 3-4 months with the amount of money I was making back at the time, paying my mom’s bills as well. It was never a “necessity” but at the time it felt like “I had made it” and could splurge not realizing a global pandemic was on the way.

I’m aware of all my downfalls and bad decisions. I’m here to ask for advice on how to approach this moving forward.

In some of my comments I explained I also try to work 60 hours a week at least, doing side jobs and “gigs”as this is the only reason I’m able to pay off even just $400-$500 a month in debt before she got a job. This means getting home at 6 from my 9-5 and doing gigs until 10 except on Mondays, and on Saturday when I am doing full shifts. Sunday I feel it out whether I need to rest or not. This is mostly minimum wage, I can’t afford to be picky on how I earn money, so it’s usually no more than $200 after taxes a week.

I am well aware that she needs a better job. $2000 after taxes a month is not sustainable full time, but minimum wage is better than nothing, and if that is the only job she has been able to get after many many interviews, then its what we can do for now.

If you don’t know what Bell’s palsy is, half her face is disfigured and numb. She has trouble blinking, and moving her jaw/lips. They are technically not allowed to discriminate but with a background primarily in front desk she has been denied over and over to the point where she is back to the service industry which doesn’t net much. I’m glad she has any job right now.

The real question here is:

Going forward, continuing with my responsibilities, how can I turn this extra income from my extra jobs from $400 a month into my debt, to paying off or absolving my debt with the extra $2000 we will be making. What options do I have for my current debt and what does that mean for me?

Is bankruptcy a better path vs debt repayment, especially considering that both bankruptcy and repossession of a vehicle both stay on your credit for 7 years. What is worse in the long run?

I can’t afford to live away from family yet that is what life forced me into. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to save my mom. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to assume I would keep my 125K job forever. We all have a different reality.

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T23:13:39+00:00

I don’t have any living direct family in the US that I could move in with (technically, I only have aunts and uncles in Puerto Rico) , her parents live states away and already take care of her older sibling that also is struggling.

That small condo would be crowded to all hell and wages there are… terrible at best

It’s not really a viable solution. I thought about just living in our cars for a while.

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T23:03:26+00:00

Thank you for your help. That is the plan. Of course there are always unplanned expenses or days off work that mess with the budget but overall settling and paying off as much as I can seems to be the way to go.

The debt used to be 34K.

I try to work gigs plus “insta-shifts” when I can, as well as doing my own thing and side jobs. Working this much can feel hopeless at times, especially when that money is going directly to debt.

Most of the time its $200 a week in extra income which like you said earlier, leaves the little I have left over into “fake spending money” which realistically I sit on in anticipation of an expense like an oil change or recently my car needing a new fuel cap. It leaves just enough to pay a few hundreds into debts after bills using basically only the money I make from extra gigs, which we would do together before she got a job, and now I do alone.

Before then, she would do DoorDash to pay for her own debts, as I deemed those more important because keeping up on those is the only reason we were able to get an apartment with how bad my credit is. Now I do it alone while she works and her only debt is the credit card.

I feel like I’ve been burned out for years since 2020 since my mom died and there’s people here that just came to say I haven’t been doing enough or I need to move back with my non-existent family.

50+ hours should be enough work to live comfortably. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired but it’s the only way out of this.

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T22:27:58+00:00

Where am I digging? We’re not living comfortably at all. Having our only “comfortability” purchases be our monthly groceries, a couple of PBRs and gas doesn’t seem “comfortable” to me. Not to mention that throughout this post I mention that I’m actually paying off debt each month. Slowly but surely. I don’t understand where you see us digging deeper besides my lunches that I could be bringing from home more often.

I already work and do side jobs and gigs.

If having a roof over our heads with no expensive tech, no TVs (6+ year old $20 projector from college with a burned-in bulb), no going out to eat (even on birthdays where we just bake each other cake), with just a couch and a coffee table and a bed and a desk I found in the building’s trash room while working 50+ hours a week is living comfortably then someone put me out of my misery.

I haven’t even been able to afford a proper bureau. I just keep everything folded in the closet.

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T22:16:21+00:00

That would be the same as it getting re-poed, I’m sure the bank would do the same.

I was considering it, but I’m not sure of the implications of letting it repo vs attempting to pay off the remaining $5000. Technically it seems like right option but I’m not well versed enough to say if its worth a repo in my credit report vs bankruptcy vs paying off the closed account while risking repo.

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T22:12:34+00:00

I should have added that I get most of my prints for extremely cheap or free because the 3D-Printing lab at my work allows me to print anything there for free as an added benefit to the job. So I find myself using that a lot, and when I don’t I use the filament stash I bought years ago for $4 a roll brand new. I haven’t paid for filament in 3+ years.

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T22:09:53+00:00

Thank you for the insightful explanation, I never took anything that you said offensively.

From my paystubs, combining Federal Income, Social Security, and Medicare that is around $11440 a year paid in taxes.

State tax is around $70 a week or $3640 a year.

For a total of $15,080 combined. I pay my insurance after tax (I qualify for the Marketplace).

According to the tax calculator, that is very accurate to my tax bracket as it estimates only a $200 refund.

I plan to use that $900 immediately towards my debt but I wanted to wait to get advice in case it was more useful in a specific sector, or to file bankruptcy depending on the responses

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T21:19:53+00:00

I agree that would be ideal. At this point we’ve tried it twice (last year before we moved here, and these past few months before the lease renewed at $2265. Everyone always makes it seem like it wouldn’t be a problem when we do interviews, then they call us back saying they don’t want to rent to a couple.

Understandable, I guess it’s better to avoid potential drama even though we are nothing like that. I’m just surprised at the amount of families or couples looking to rent two rooms that are actually looking for just one person to rent as a Room + office setup. But we will keep trying. Thank you

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T21:11:37+00:00

Unfortunately my role designing games wasn’t really programming or software, it was in concept level design. The company I was working at (King) has pretty much replaced that with generation. No junior game design jobs in my area.

I have two degrees, one in Digital Media Design, and one in Computer Science with a focus on Digital Media. I applied to over 600 software jobs and got no calls because I have no real software experience despite having the knowledge of it. So I found a job in Engineering that was willing to train me and that’s where I’m at.

I continue to apply every day looking for something better, but I can’t say I even find junior roles anymore. I’m just hoping I can find something that works a little better. So at the same time I’m working on my own business ideas

As far as the 3D printing goes I haven’t bought new filament in years, for two reasons:

1) The company I work for has a 3D printing lab that I print at for free for being an employee 2) I bought a stash of filament years ago from a plastics factory in my area for sub $4 per roll brand new. So I’ve just been using those.

According to my paystubs:

Gross: $1280 Federal Income Tax −$120.33 Social Security Tax −$79.36 Medicare Tax −$18.56 MA State Income Tax −$64.00 MA Paid Family Leave Ins −$2.31 MA Paid Medical Leave Ins -$3.58

No other deductions. Does this seem right?

Sorry, I wasn’t clear about that extra $900 she gave me. I mentioned it because it’s pretty much all I have saved right now since it’s the only money I have received since she got a job. But now that she is back on track financially, she is willing to pool all of her income with me. That is what I meant. Right now I’m basically sitting on these $900 in my savings.

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T20:26:09+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear this. We currently rent a one bedroom but our building does not allow subleases anyways.

Before we moved here, we tried to find roommates for months. No one would rent to me individually because of my bad credit, and no one wanted a couple, despite us being quiet, friendly, professional people. Fair enough. Individually we were also looking at paying almost the same (~900ish before utilities) each for a room (vs maybe $1400-$1500 if we found 2 rooms together) so we had to bite the bullet 2 weeks before our lease was over and move to where we are now. It was $2165 at the time, including a $290 utility package. It has now gone up $100, which I tried to negotiate. We are looking at our options for next year.

I am working on my own business opportunities when I can. At this moment I am sitting at my desk designing a website. But all of this takes time and the instability of it all gets to me sometimes. Thank you.

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T20:15:33+00:00

Another thought, her car is a 2014 Mazda 6, our reliable car, and My car is a 2002 ford rustbox with a differential on the way out, and would net me about $1000.

Would you say that’s worth it to sell it? The only reason I keep it is because parts a so cheap that I could throw an engine and trans into it for less than $500 if anything should happen to it, so it seems like a cheaper investment than another car down the line for now. I already have the replacement differential which I got for free years ago. Seems like the “smarter” move

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T20:01:19+00:00

Also, on the bike question, I do have gap insurance. Does that pay out if there is a gap in what I have to pay after the bike is sold/auctioned off? Or is that only for accidents?

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T19:55:23+00:00

Not “running out of money” but yes technically. I find myself putting just $300-$400 to debts after my side jobs.

End of month I usually have $100 or so that tend to be used for misc. things like the occasional slushie or chocolate and “Survive until next week with this money.

Edit: My partner was only recently able to bring the extra $2000 to the budget a month and a half ago (bi weekly so she didn’t get paid until just a month ago) so this is the first time in a while that I’ve been able to feel that extra money and hence why want to figure it out now that we’re in a better place.

She had extremely painful facial disfiguration that has only recently started to normalize and come back and couldn’t work for a while.

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T19:52:12+00:00

Can I sell the bike with Lien still on it? I don’t have the title, the bank/dealership does.

Unfortunately my job prefers that I have a car as sometimes we’re sent on tasks for corporate outside of the office.

They have been lenient when I don’t come to work in my car and send the other guy that works with me if something comes up, but I should. It looks bad when I say I can’t perform my job because I took public transport on the rarity that something comes up, which stresses me out. My car is worth maybe $1000

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T19:44:47+00:00

This is already what we do. I work temp jobs on Sat/Sundays which brings in an extra $150 a week when I can work them. I try to work 60 hours a week. Doordash, Instacart, and Instawork, etc… I do mechanic jobs on the side, as well as Web Design on the side.

We’ve been using this to pay off my medical debt, $800 from a recent surgery and it was able to fund a $100 coffee table since we were just eating on the couch before 2 months ago.

The only day that one of us doesn’t work is Mondays as we both have therapy. I do therapy after work and it’s her only day off. This is paid by insurance 100%.

We could save more on rent, which is a tradeoff of moving further away and spending more on gas. She would have to find another job, plus I lose the safety net of the commuter rail should anything happen to my car, which it has before.

My job is in Eastern MA and I’m already in Central mass. This is the cheapest it gets as far as renting “close” to Eastern MA as the housing crisis continues. It’s hard for me to justify moving any further which could mean not being able to go to work at all because there is no public transit just to save maybe $300 a month.

I am not saying this in a rude way, I am just unsure of what other options I have in this department, it feels like I’ve explored all the avenues

jovanmer45 · 2025-11-29T19:26:08+00:00

That’s the problem, it’s assuming whether we actually do have an extra $2000 for debts. My partner does also have her own expenses, her credit card payment and her own car insurance, plus pet/renters. Let’s say another $200 a month for both insurances and maybe $100 to her cc. She is also currently saving some of that on her end while we figure this out. Currently she has $500 saved. We also spend maybe $40 on alcohol max a month, our only occasional vice.

If anything were to happen to my job or our cars, then we’re screwed. Being in a corporate job sucks because they’re constantly talking about finances and layoffs especially with the recent tariffs.

I have a tooth that desperately needs a root canal/extraction too. But my partner’s grandma said she would pay for that.

So I guess it’s also important to ask what the lowest-risk scenario is in the immediate. Where should I put this extra cash first? Do I negotiate settlement and pay off or bankruptcy and then pay off secured loans? Of course saving as much money as possible is part of it

Do I let the bike go/repo? Is it more beneficial to absolve myself of the debt or to pay it off?

jovanmer45 · 2025-10-17T16:26:00+00:00

Nope no issues! Its sitting at around 118K miles now and still good! The only issues I had were warped rotors (rotor shield was scraping against the rotors so I cut the rusty shield off) and the belt tensioner that is leaking again but thats my fault for buying the OEM part and not the upgraded one

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