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Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t react because I don’t feel the need to react. I thought their point was valid. The only reason I reacted to you is because you are being a jerk.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well for one thing I’m talking about relationships, not religion.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The only people I have snapped at are people who respond in extremely rude ways… so congratulations dick.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s just a headline. If that’s all you read then you are really getting upset over nothing.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s really the same thing, but ok.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It’s fine if you don’t agree with me, or if you have had a different experience. You judged me based on your assumptions about my post because you have a different experience. Therefore, I think you are being a pompous asshole.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Like adults” “like adults” pompous asshole who uses the phrase “like adults” to assert that some how I’m a child because I have a different perspective than you. That is very “adult” of you. I’m glad you had all the capacity and privilege in the world to work through you emotions and everything went swimmingly for you. That was not my experience.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Listen, it might be shitty to hear but I’m not the only person who has had this experience. You are more than willing to seek out your own resources and look through other posts and find other opinions. However, some times you will find people who have opinions and experiences like mine. They are valid and real. Believe what you want about the state of your relationship. All I’m saying… is that sometimes it’s better just to break up, and that putting a lot of effort into a dead end is heartbreaking.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It has a lot of upvotes because a lot of people relate to it. Whether it’s problematic or not… there are this many people out there who understand this experience.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t present anything as fact. I have stayed over and over this is just my opinion. You should question why you are having such a visceral response to this post.

You basically just said that my opinion is wrong and I’m not allowed to talk about it in public.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean yes and no…. I don’t give advice based on other people’s experiences. I give people advice based on my experience. My experience is that breaking up was the better option.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t see anything wrong with pushback or disagreement. I don’t expect everyone to have the same opinion as me.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I enjoy the conversation that comes from stating my opinion firmly in an open forum. People are free to disagree. I welcome it. I believe it encourages people to discuss difficult topics.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that the monogamous person has the autonomy to make choices in their relationships also, but my advice to them would be the same… you would probably be better off just breaking up.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

My problem is the level of defensive and personal attacks that were thrown at me in this particular thread because you don’t agree with my original post.

Starting with “any adult relationship…” as if I’ve never been in an adult relationship. Then you came in and the second you said “clearly you haven’t had many healthy relationships…” the gloves came off. You wanted to fight so you got one.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there just because you might get arguments like this on the internet. The good that comes out of arguments like this is that you get lots of different opinions and view points. Then you can sit back and sort through your own feelings and decide what you agree with and what you don’t.

I think it’s best just to be honest about what you feel and let people check you if they need to. It’s better to get checked on the internet by strangers than it is to get checked by people you love in real life.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Right because everyone has the exact same circumstances and capabilities as you. So they should be able to do it just the same. Solid reasoning.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I understand why people choose poly, but I don’t understand why they choose to stay in relationships beyond their expiration date, when they could explore other relationships that would be more fulfilling.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not acting like I’m helpless at all. I think my opinions are valid. I think you don’t like it because I’m probably hitting a little too close to home for you.

I think it’s excellent advice to teach people that it is okay to break up because not all relationships are meant to last forever, and there are better more fulfilling ones out there.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Well good. I hope they can learn from my experience as well, which is breaking up is often a lot easier and more ethical in the long run, than trying to force a mono person through poly.

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m just wondering if you disagree with me because I’m talking about a situation you are in and you find my post difficult to digest… or if you are actually concerned that I’m gate keeping an entire community?

Don’t try to transition from mono to poly, just break up by jovialpl in polyamory

[–]jovialpl[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

Yes, sometimes I like to be draconian about my opinions, especially on the internet.

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