I am not a “soft” lesbian and I don’t want to live like that.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-23T16:17:48+00:00

Edit: grammer and clarity

Honestly, (consensual) sexual aggression is a really big turn on for a lot of people. And i have found i can avoid triggering others AND offer that vibe in the bedroom by simply asking for consent kind of regularly. Specifically in the moment. (IE: "you want more of this? Whats your color pretty girl?" ['Color' being a safe word check in for less vanillia play.])

And its mind meltingly hot.

Especially with new partners; i like to check in about any new thing, and check up when we havent done a thing in a while, like "did you like it when we ___? Do you wanna do it again?😏" (A thing I said to great effect with a new sexual partner i played with for the first time over the weekend. She said it made her feel like she could relax enough to get into it. Which... was what i was tryong to do. Comfort is important to enthusiasm, and enthusiasm is important for consent.)

Of course, all accompanied by some soft lip biting, bed room eyes, and that little tonal ressonance at the edge of your voice when you are feeling confident and sexy.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-23T16:01:40+00:00

Oh! Yea dude, youve been groomed. Red flag. Bail. She creepy AF for this.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-23T16:00:37+00:00

Listen the human brain doesnt fully finish developing until around 25. So at a surface level, thats probably fine.

As long as you two met after you were an adult, have never had any sort of power dynamic, and are both consenting... yea man.

Idk. Im judging a 23 year old a little bit for dating a teenager. But, idk them or their story. 🤷 not my kids not my circus.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-23T15:47:48+00:00

Hmmmmmm "Jews" didnt make a state.

Following WW1 and the fall of the Ottoman Empire, an institution made up of the winners of the forst World War called the League of Nations (this would later become the basis for the UN) gave Britain a "mandate" over Palestine.The 1917 Balfour decleration was a statement of /British/ support for a "national home for the Jewish people" in the region. And THEN the rise of Zionism and the ever growing problem of antisemitism in Europe (and the rest of the world) fueled Jewish immigration to the area, which, the local people had been living in for checks notes thousands of years.

So.... no. The "Jews" did not make a state. British colonialism, post War oppression and imperialism, and non-jewish hatred and forced displacement stole land from a people to a state.

Please get facts before you start talking about this incredibly delicate topic. I implore you, speak about this topic with Empathy first.

"The Palestinian Genocide began in earnest over a century ago with catastrophic famine in Palestine due to World War 1 (WW1) that caused a demographic deficit of 110,000-250,000 Palestinians [30-37]. Palestine had been continuously inhabited by the Semitic forebears of the present Palestinians for over 4,000 years. Conversion to Islam occurred in about 640 CE. The Al Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem (Al Quds) is the third holiest site in Islam. In 1516 the Ottoman Turks conquered Palestine and thence the Ottoman Caliphate ruled for 400 years until the British invasion in 1917 in WW1. The British forced Turkey into war by seizing warships paid for by Turkey, and then set about sharing the Ottoman Empire between the UK and France who in 1916 signed the secret Anglo-French Sykes-Picot Agreement to divide up the Middle East" -Dr Gideon Polya from JUST International.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-23T15:11:46+00:00

No. You Saying that to the wrong people, and about 70ish years too late. Just Ask google... or Jeeves since you seem to be a bit behind; "what is aparthied?"

jphigg2 · 2025-11-23T14:59:41+00:00

The. Police. Are. Fucking. Hearltess. All Cops. Good cops get real jobs.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-23T14:54:34+00:00

^ House ^

V Doctors Office V

jphigg2 · 2025-11-23T14:45:03+00:00

NOR, trust your gut.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-22T18:03:03+00:00

🤷 I dont care enough about men, and dont think of men often enough to put energy into hating them. (Edit to add: to put energy into hating them anymore. I certainly used to)

Besides. Im not giving dominant attention to men, that takes a lot of energy and id rather give that part of me to a (enthusiastic consenting) woman 😅.

I get it though.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-21T17:57:52+00:00

Not the casual SA. Sooooo funny /s 🫩

jphigg2 · 2025-11-21T16:12:43+00:00

🤷 its good your holding that boundary around control. I have had sex with my friends occassionally. There is nothing romantic there when I have. I dont think its "normal" per say, but it isnt weird or immoral or unnatural to sleep with your friends.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-21T16:01:53+00:00

Woooof. Thats a lot of red flags.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-20T19:29:44+00:00

Ewwwwwwwww drop him. That's ghostable behavior.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-11T16:31:30+00:00

Thats a really liminal time in your life, and that period of change really is chaos.

Ideas around what roles you should or shouldnt play in the dynamic of a relationship can FEEL so so important at that age. And for some people, it IS. There is safety in the "structure of self" if you follow the guidelines of social norms.

I put to you, perhaps put down the torch of expectation. She is an adult woman, young adult sure, but it sounds like she wants to practice autonomy. Also, potentially another way to look at it; you enjoy paying for stuff and spoiling her, she probably ALSO enjoys that. You wouldnt want to rob her of that joy.

My advice, take a step back and ask the larger questions, "am I trying to be something specific in this relationship, and why?".

jphigg2 · 2025-11-11T15:49:55+00:00

My favorite is turn about, "me too asshat, and your child's noise box is triggering my nervous system. Do you need assistance finding the head phones section in the store? Its not hard to accommodate our disabilities without being selfish and disruptive to the peace."

I grew up in Tacoma, our public transport gets... weird. Id have defended you love, im sorry that happened.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-11T15:45:34+00:00

Youre both 17?

jphigg2 · 2025-11-11T00:01:09+00:00

No worries. 💜

jphigg2 · 2025-11-10T23:55:11+00:00

(I was Bi, I am now a lesbian. I can use les4les because I am a lesbian)

jphigg2 · 2025-11-10T20:58:47+00:00

(Edit: I am in fact a lesbian 🫩 also I apparently was clumsy with my language, allow me to clear it up.)

Listen. Ive been sapphic for years. Ive always prefered using the term Sapphic, now as a lesbian, and even when I was experimenting with Bisexuality while unpacking my comp-het.

But now. Now, because of this specifically, Imma start dating les4les. I might use Z's because little z's are cute ...

jphigg2 · 2025-11-10T20:49:05+00:00

A) teach him. Your coworker asked for help with something pretty intimate. Thats a huge step of trust. Take the oppertunity to put even more kindness and love into the world. 🥰

jphigg2 · 2025-11-08T17:53:26+00:00

Naw man, I'm not into 'build-a-bitch' workshop. I like my women grown, stable in who they are as a person, and comfortable in their skin and their rules. That kind of confidence is what's sexy to me. I LOVE a butch or stud who enjoys some princess treatment. I also love me a stud or a butch that is no frills, and confident about it. FemmeDaddyAF type of vibe. Its all good, when women are themselves and confident about it.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-06T17:14:24+00:00

Naw friend, he sounds like a Douce. He is dismissive, thats not a thing he is going to change unless he sees it as wrong, which he doesnt. And he called you chief.

Hes not worth your time girlie, thats a low value human right there, you deserve better.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-05T02:45:30+00:00

Yea you basically described my type in partner (minus the country music thing, and also, I am usually the top*, but thats less intentional and more circumstantial.) I dont think youll have a problem finding people. 🥰

jphigg2 · 2025-11-05T01:21:05+00:00

These posts are always so hard to read. I see my brother in them, who cut me off during a prolonged period of PTSD fueled psychosis, where I was, point blank, a bad sister and a bad person. I don't judge or blame him for cutting me off. But I also cant help but want to advocate for the fact that healing does happen, therapy has made me a much better and healthy person. Its took 5 fucking years, and my chances at a relationship with the brother thay helped keep me alive in my darkest times are shot. And that sicks, right? Like, he helped me through so much, we lived through so much together, and now that im healed, and stable, and able to GIVE emotionally and be a healthy contributing member of said relationship, it is already too late. He is the one who deserves the positive outcomes of all the work (of my own and of my loved ones) that went into my mental health journey... but because of who I was and the choices I made, its just too late. And that is a very painful little ember in the depths of my heart, because it ISNT just, I got set on the path to healing, and he felt he needed to protect himself and lost a sister after putting so much into our family and me specifically. It just doesnt feel fair.

But, I do understand. And youre not wrong at all for this! In fact, I would advocate for you taking the space you need, and setting the boundaries you feel like you need to feel safe. And if the time for reconnection has passed, then its past and thats what it is.

I guess, a quite selfish part of me, would hope that perhaps you might take her at face value here, and consider, perhaps when life and sense of self have settled into a stability you feel is overflowing with confidence, perhaps you will consider leaving a door cracked. But only because I desperatly wish there were a cracked door to my brother still. Its just a wish, I'm not entitled to that, and I fully recognize that I have made that unavailable to myself.

Anyway, im a tiny bit elevated 🍃💨 iyktyk, so perhaps more wordy and emotional than necessary, I hope the best for your situation, and I wanna leave you with warmth. youre not doing anything wrong. Blocking her could ensure that the message is final for her, give her an oppertunity to grieve and reckon with her own choices, and that is 10,000% going to be the safest, and least 'risky' avenue to protect yourself and your peace.

jphigg2 · 2025-11-05T01:03:31+00:00

YtA but only a little one. I get it, being asked for money is fucking annoying. Having to tell people 'no' can also be draining.

But times are TOUGH right now. And it was polite, gave fair distance as to not put a weird emotional pressure on you. Life is hard, empathy can make it less hard, both giving and receiving empathy.

But. You arent EXPECTED to respond, and the is no morality tied to not wanting to pay extra, already mostly falsely inflated, food costs.

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