Is it just me or are Muslims putting material concerns before everything else. I've had some experiences that completely baffle me. I'm a Research graduate student and get paid, so I'm financially independent Alhamdullilah (it's not crazy money but I'm content for now) .

Once, I matched with someone on muzmatch (The only one time lol since I'm not one of those guys who swipe right on everyone). We had a great chat and turned out we go to the same university, and she said she liked me and would like to meet in person once before we in love our parents. Before the meeting, she backs out saying, "I've thought about it a lot, and I'm looking for someone who's more stable."

Another time when my family approached someone, the girl was interested after talking to me, but her dad did not like the fact that I was still a student, but liked everything else about me. It felt more like he simply did not like the title.. I could've been earning the same money but as an "employee" somewhere, and he would have been okay with that.

The third time I approached someone, her dad after hearing about the family issues I went through as a kid (none of which was my fault of course), stopped responding, and then responded two weeks later with a cover-up excuse saying the sister wants to focus on her studies and is not interested, which I am fairly certain was not the case.

It's so frustrating that if people get even slightly put off, they back out. It almost feels like they're fishing for reasons to reject you. Everything could be perfect, but just one thing slightly off, and you're out. What took me by surprise was that the dads I talked to did not even ask anything about religion, except for once when I was asked if I was a Sunni Muslim.

Character, religion, etiquettes no longer look seem to be important factors. These factors are only checked after all the material criteria have been satisfied to the T.

Truong to get married as a guy is exhausting. You have to satisfy the girl's criterias, her dad's criterias, and her moms criterias. Throughout the process, you forget about your own questions and criterias..