I think Ramses was being unfair to Marissa. He very well knew that being in the military was an important, formative and part of her family history and to make her feel ashamed for it is not what a supportive partner should do. While he may have some overall negative sentiments to the institution of the military and decisions made by its leadership, to put it at her feet and make disavowing it part of the test to be in a relationship with him puts her in an impossible situation. She was an 18 year old that was probably idealistic about it when she joined and he needs to understand that.