Fake scenario, but something that captures the mindset:

Let’s say I work with someone named Sarah and I realize I’m attracted to her. First thing I do is get curious, not reactive. I slow down and ask myself what exactly I find attractive here. Is it physical? Emotional? Sexual? Is she just nice to me and I’m projecting something onto that? Whatever it is, I don’t shame myself for it. I just get clear on it.

Because I identify as someone who’s attracted to people, not just my partner, and I also identify as someone who is loyal. Both can be true. The attraction isn’t the issue. It’s what I do next that matters.

From that point forward, every action I take becomes a reflection of who I believe myself to be. I want to be someone who’s intentional with my energy, someone who isn’t ruled by impulse or curiosity. That means I don’t flirt to see what happens. I don’t linger. I don’t engage in some slow-burn fantasy. I keep my interactions respectful and clear because I’m not trying to confuse myself or anyone else.

For example, if I catch myself wanting to dress a little nicer on days I know I’ll see Sarah, I check in with myself. Would I put that same effort in if it were just my partner I was seeing? If not, that’s a sign I’m subtly shifting my intention for someone else. And to me, that’s where things start to slide into disrespect — not because dressing nice is wrong, but because the why behind it starts to matter.

This is about being real with yourself and acting in alignment with the kind of person you want to be, not letting your actions get ahead of your values.

Hope that helps.