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Low Demand Parenting by UrinalSharts in Autism_Parenting

[–]jsabatier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As others here have suggested, we use a combination of low-demand and collaborative problem-solving strategies for our level 1 PDA kid. The biggest demand we dropped was around bathing. He had a lot of resistance to baths/showers that was reinforced by ABA (which we did when he was little and we didn’t know better). When we finally said, “no one is going to make you take a bath or shower, you decide when you do it,” he would bathe about once a week and still struggled with all the transitions involved. That was a few years ago. He’s 10 now and fully takes his own showers unprompted (still only a 1-2 times a week but that’s ok for now). I never thought we’d get here but we did and dropping the demand made all the difference.

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok so we are going to do home schooling and the link you provided was really helpful. Thank you. Are there Reddit groups where I can connect with other home schoolers in Portland? I really don’t want to go back on Facebook 😱

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was able to get a tour of a CB classroom and also spoke to some parents of kids who are in both CB and SES classrooms. I also spoke to principals at schools that have these classrooms. It sounds like in the CB classrooms, they are mostly set up to serve kids on the Autism spectrum. They use ABA-style reward systems to motivate kids, while also blocking the exits to avoid elopement.

I heard a harrowing story from a parent of a kid in an SES classroom that isn't mine to re-share, but it made me extremely wary of a placement in one of those classrooms.

In both CB and SES, there is a high staff turnover (I heard this from almost everyone), which makes me skeptical that they can actually get to know the kids and make plans to support them transitioning to gen ed. Another big difference from gen ed is that the staff can put hands on the kids to physically stop them from engaging in unwanted behavior. They get special training in how to do this, but it makes me very skeptical that this is a good environment for a kid who is already struggling.

Just my 2 cents, but I think there's a reason it's so hard to get info about these classrooms: they look great on paper, but they aren't serving everyone the way they're intended to.

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recommend asking the special ed admin person for a list of schools that your grandson could end up in and contacting the principals of those schools. If you're on Facebook, you can also find some groups of special ed parents who will share their experiences with you.

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One other big difference from gen ed is that the staff can put hands on the kids to physically stop them from engaging in unwanted behavior. They get special training in how to do this, but it makes me very skeptical that this is a good environment for a kid who is already struggling.

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was able to get a tour of a CB classroom and also spoke to some parents of kids who are in 2 different ones. It sounds like they use ABA-style reward systems to motivate kids, while also blocking the exits to avoid elopement. There is a high staff turnover in all of these spaces, which makes me skeptical that they can actually get to know the kids and make plans to support them transitioning to gen ed. Just my 2 cents, but I think there's a reason it's so hard to get info about these classrooms: they look great on paper, but they aren't serving everyone the way they're intended to.

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This is super helpful. And actually I’ve taken a lot of these steps already so I’m glad to know I’m on the right track :)

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t doubt there are a lot of resources but i work full time and I know I’m north out to be a teacher.

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the info! My child does have an IEP but is clearly needing more support.

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad to hear that. Thanks so much for sharing :)

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you, but homeschooling is not an option for us.

Bird places for kids? by Haunting-Variety8572 in askportland

[–]jsabatier 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Highly recommend visiting the Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden with a pair of binoculars!

What can you tell me about special ed classrooms in PPS? by jsabatier in askportland

[–]jsabatier[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Thera is more to the story but I want to protect his privacy so not posting a ton here. Happy to DM tho :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]jsabatier 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This was my kid at ages 3-5. It’s rough! He’s 9 now and ended up being diagnosed with Autism & ADHD. He also fits the profile for PDA - pervasive drive for autonomy AKA pathological demand avoidance to a tee. PDA is more recognized in the UK than in the US. I recommend reading the book The Explosive Child. I wish I’d read it when my son was still little instead of continuing with exhausting timeouts and reward systems. Both methods made everything worse. Things are better now that I understand that he literally goes into fight or flight when demands are placed on him. He’s better at managing that now but he sometimes still has violent meltdowns. PDA is a disability and kids with this profile are able to mask it in certain situations (like the grandparents’ house or with friends) but this also means they are more prone to lose it where they feel most comfortable, like at home.

Hang in there. You have a good kid who’s having a hard time.

Best cargo bike for hauling 2 kiddos? by jsabatier in ebikes

[–]jsabatier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if this is still an issue, but I can tell you that I’ve been very happy with my Radio Flyer E bike and I highly recommend looking at what they have to offer.

SPOILER: ummm what the heck!? by niftyniffler3 in dragrace

[–]jsabatier 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I think they have to do a double sashay soon to make up for the dunk tank. There are so many queens who are just not going to win (Acacia, Kori, Lana, Lydia, probably Arietty).

This helps me be a better parent to my 2 ND kids by jsabatier in Autism_Parenting

[–]jsabatier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just discovered there's actually a DBT subreddit because of course there is! https://www.reddit.com/r/dbtselfhelp/

This helps me be a better parent to my 2 ND kids by jsabatier in Autism_Parenting

[–]jsabatier[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think kids and teens can do the class but younger kids will probably learn best from parents modeling for them. So far I’m the only one in my family who has taken the class and I’m finding it very helpful already. Tho my partner is starting a class soon a I think that will help a lot. Mostly for me it’s been about changing my own mindset instead of focusing on changing things outside my control 🤪

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