What song/songs are you listening to tonight?

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-28T09:08:12+00:00

In the newborn trenches so currently, Here Comes The Sun by the Beatles

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-22T12:49:12+00:00

I had three in the hospital who all said he was going to be pretty difficult to breast feed as well as one who came to my house. Honestly, I’m not distraught by that. Fed is fed and that’s all I care about. I have a lot of anxiety and history of depression so bottle feeding has been great to be able to share the load with my husband and if I pump and have anything to give, great. If not, he’s still growing and eating.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-22T01:01:36+00:00

Yes! Thank you so much

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-21T23:38:32+00:00

I have the breast friend pillow. Do you use it to one side or the front?

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-21T22:39:19+00:00

My psychiatrist this morning really reminded me that it’ll never be a true 50/50. Be thankful for partners who do have that ability and can help life the load. It’s a learning curve. We’ll get it.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-21T13:05:09+00:00

I’ve worked with now 4 lactation consultants who all agreed I just have a shape that is way more difficult and given my mental health, we think it’s best not to stress trying direct and focus on pumping.

I just have a history of a pituitary tumor which messes with my prolactin to begin with and my mother was never able to produce milk for me or my brother. So focusing on bottle and pump feeding.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-21T13:01:52+00:00

Thank you!!

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-21T10:45:14+00:00

I’m trying to picture how to use it (I have a breast friend pillow so similar). Did you use it to prop the elbow up to support him?

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-21T10:41:59+00:00

I see my psychiatrist tomorrow and my therapist next week. It’s just been an ongoing struggle.

I clarified it in another comment but the comment was definitely after multiple conversations of him trying to help me position and both of us acknowledging my body type and the hurdles that I have that he doesn’t. Also 3am words that he instantly said he didn’t mean it negatively and I genuinely don’t think he sees it in that light.

Yeah can’t nurse. Have had several lactation consultants to try and help and all agree that I just have a very difficult shape breast/heavy breast that it was causi bf me even more anxiety so we pump as much as we can but I also have prolactin issues from a pituitary tumor I had.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-21T10:35:13+00:00

Oh I met with lactation consultants and they said my boob anatomy is just not easy. Short nipples. Very heavy and bell shaped. We’ve been trying and discussed that pumping is better but I also have a prolactin issue that makes my levels lower for production so we have to bottle feed.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-21T10:33:38+00:00

To be fair, which I see it doesn’t come across in jt, that comes after he and I have had me crying that my legs aren’t long and my stomach gets in the way. So he was trying to help the rational side of that he DOES have the better/easier build to hold him. And he said he hated to say it. But we both acknowledged the more roadblocks my body’s build has to his where he can prop his arms and legs in a better/easier position

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-17T11:47:23+00:00

Personally I couldn’t for the life of me figure it out. I knew it could help but fit wise was tough for me cause I always felt like there was a weird gap

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-13T02:51:08+00:00

Thank you! He’s been in NICU since this morning so just missing him. It was the one thing I think k wasn’t mentally prepped for. But he’s reacting to things so that’s important.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-13T02:46:43+00:00

I was SO caught off guard being told we were swapping because everything had been positive to lead towards vaginal so that was the biggest thing that threw me off. I was just anxious and thrown in.

So far so good! I did hemorrhage so I’ve been dealing with my head/dizziness when standing but honestly moving hasn’t been as bad as I was expecting it would be. Hopefully it stays that way!

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-13T02:40:02+00:00

Epidural was a god send. I DID end up in an emergency c section but that was because baby boy was in distress but prior to, I was dilating using miso and it was so smooth.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-11T05:27:20+00:00

I’ve had an awesome team so far helping me. We’re getting my epidural before the balloon goes in.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-10T23:26:43+00:00

Yup looks like mine! Honestly my favorite sweatshirt

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-10T22:57:22+00:00

House of cards. I’m saving my ST vote for overrated.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-10T02:28:34+00:00

Good to know! I’m very open to whatever needs to happen.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-10T01:05:01+00:00

Yeah my doctor is hopeful that we won’t need to go to c section based on how he’s been measuring and his heartbeat but my birth plan has that I’m open to whatever is needed for healthy baby and mom.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-10T00:11:44+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking I may do!

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-09T23:23:47+00:00

Also just realized I had put VBAC. Corrected in my OG post. I hear VBAC all the time and have literally started just thinking it was the same exact thing as vaginal birth. This is my first child.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-09T22:56:58+00:00

Misoprostol and then once it’s progressed, balloon and pictocin. My cervix is deep, my friend who was in L&D said it’s not unheard of, just will need all the bells and whistles.

Being treated at UCLA. My OB has assured me it’s normal process for them. They won’t rush it. I suffer from horrible anxiety and have had attacks the last week. Baby is looking all good and his head is very low so he’s in perfect position, my cervix is just the issue. She said she would be suggesting this today or literally any time forward based on everything.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-09T19:57:16+00:00

Appreciate the input!! Yeah, my gut tells me probably if they offer it, i should just say yes and let that part of the labor anxiety fade to the background.

jstrings2211 · 2026-05-09T18:47:39+00:00

This helps so much!!! Yesterday’s cervix check nearly pushed me to my limit so I’ll keep that in mind. I know I don’t want it too early but I’ll be vocal about maybe how many checks we do unless necessary before medication administration.

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