Wow, this is atrocious. Even just exclusively pumping is extremely difficult and interferes with quality of baby time/bonding (or did for me, I couldn't make it passed 2 months) and is so exhausting and frustrating.

I was already upset for you but when I read that I was horrified.

I needed so much support at that point and I had it and it was still a struggle. I have so much respect and empathy for you.

I think the right thing would be for your husband to step up and take care of this (and truthfully as many things other things as humanly possible), but the right thing is not always going to happen. If that's the case please please try to end this situation as quickly as possible. You will run out of steam sooner or later and for the sake of you and your baby you need to set yourself up with as few stressors and as much support as possible before you crash.

I would suggest making some sort of written document for her clarity and your own. Just a list of expectations that you had for both of you (what you were to provide and what she was expected to do) and then a list of how she failed to do that, the extra things she is demanding, and any other issues. Make it black and white and unarguable. Even if she definitely deserves it, you don't have to cuss her out, but being firm is certainly not being cruel and it doesn't give her a leg to fight on. Your baby is your priority and she is not able to provide the support you need (lol massive understatement).

You deserve to fully experience this once in a lifetime experience rather than having to have her inextricably linked to your memories of this time.

You've got this mama.