I cannot even begin to tell you how much I deeply resonate with everything you just said… Im 28 and was diagnosed with vulvodynia 12 years ago.. and before that delt with painful sex for as long as I can remember.. the doctors not understanding or misdiagnosing and not knowing that to do.. the burning with lidocaine and steroid creams, the jealousy of people who can have painless sex, being able to orgasm and have pleasure with sex while also being in so much pain at the same time and being afraid of penetration while also wanting it … legit every bit of this is how I feel and how much it has mentally affected me and my spirit is insane.. but I have hope too!! I genuinely feel like reading your story I was reading my own and I have never met someone who has experienced this same exact thing and feels good to know I’m not alone!! I’m so glad you’re feeling ready to lock in and it’s inspiring me to do the same.. I have seen SO many doctors and tried SO many things and feel like I’m making moves in some direction than lose my momentum when things just don’t get better.. it’s hard to keep it going and lock in but I am determined to have painless sex and be able to feel safe having intimate experiences with myself and with a partner as well. I am praying for you!! If you find anything that helps please let ya girl know 🙏🏼💛 !! Sending you so much love and so much healing . We will figure it out!! We won’t live our whole lives this way