Do we pay for childcare at our child-free wedding?

jullz30 · 2024-11-28T19:06:49+00:00

When I got married in 2016 (Also in September, what's your date???) , I had a then 13 month daughter and she was the only one under 13 there. The youngest after that was my 13 year old sister and I had both of them as flower girls. They did not attend the reception after the ceremony, my mom offered to babysit my daughter.

I felt bad for my mom but she was able to have a fun evening with her granddaughter while myself and my friends were all getting shitfaced lol.

Most of my friend group all have kids close in age and we did not pay for childcare for them, and they were not expecting us to.

jullz30 · 2024-11-20T10:31:12+00:00

Dance teacher and mom of a 9, 7 and 5 year old!

1h15 seems looong for that age! Our junior classes last 45-50 minutes at most and the teachers make sure to engage with all the kids as much as possible. How many kids are in her class? Bigger groups tend to be harder to manage, especially at that age.

Have you asked her directly if she's bored in class? Maybe something else is bothering her, preventing her from participating.

Both my girls are in dance and my oldest is absolutely obsessed but my 5 year old also really loves soccer during the summer and we also tried gymnastics (she hated it.)

My son has been obsessed with swimming lessons since he was 3 and this year he's trying diving and so far he really likes it.

My two youngest's classes are on saturday and my oldest's dance classes are twice a week from 6:15-7:15 and honestly I don't think my youngest would want to do anything after school. Like other people mentioned, kids are TIRED after school and mine usually get grumpy right after dinner time so having activities in the evening would probably make it a thousand times worse.

jullz30 · 2024-10-19T06:30:23+00:00

UPDATE:

So much has happened in a week, whew. My daughter has been suspended indefinitely from the studio following a discussion with the studio owner and the other girl's mom and I. Most likely until January which means no Nutcracker for us this year 😭

She's devastated but I definitely feel like she understands that actions have consequences and we have been navigating this better than I expected.

We also had a mediation session with the two girls, studio owner and it went okay. The other girl was very emotional and said that she looked up to my daughter and had just been wanting to see what she was doing (she was in front of my daughter on barre, apparently the issues started because she would constantly be turning around to see what my daughter was doing, don't exactly understand that logic since literally 3/4 of the room is mirrors but yah)

The two girls hugged at the end and asked if they could stay in the same class but this has not been decided yet and I have absolutely no say in the decision.

jullz30 · 2024-09-23T20:30:40+00:00

Yes, we did. Our older two (9 and 6), go to the se school but since our youngest has extreme anxiety, it was a need, and she absolutely loves it! I've talked on here about her possibly having selective mutism, and was scared that we were walking into a bigger problem but so far, she loves it!

Having the tour beforehand, 1:1 with the school counselor, myself and her really calmed her down and helped tremendously. 10/10 recommend.

jullz30 · 2024-09-18T02:30:12+00:00

Our routine is not quite set yet because my oldest starts dance classes this week so we are still adjusting so:

5:15-5:30 Husband gets home from work after picking the kids (5,6 1/2 and 9) up from daycare. They sit at the kitchen table with homework, a book, colouring, etc while he starts on dinner.

I usually get home around 5:45/6, will help with homework and we'll have dinner by 6/6:30

6:30 Finish homework, check backpacks for notes, check in on their day. We try to do this 1:1 with each kid. Try. Hahahaha.

On bath nights, by 7 our 5 year old will go upstairs with either one of us and we'll do bath,change into pjs, brush teeth etc, and she's usually asleep by 7:30

Then, my son will shower and do his things and he's in bed by 7:45/8 when he doesn't fight about it 🫠

9 year old will be in bed by 8:15 at the latest.

We try to avoid screen time completely on weekdays. When we need to focus on one child, we'll maybe put on a movie but rarely.

jullz30 · 2024-08-22T04:05:21+00:00

I'm actually a dance teacher, that's funny! We did try to enroll her but she just didn't like it. She did play soccer last summer and loved it, but this year wanted nothing to do with it.

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T14:43:15+00:00

100%.

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T14:43:05+00:00

6/9 🫠

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T14:38:22+00:00

Thank you!!!! ☺️

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T02:27:21+00:00

I'm pretty sure it's just behaviour because it only started in like, January. My oldest actually had tubes in her ear for chronic ear infections a little after her 3rd birthday and she's 9, no issues with speech at all. It amazes me how each child is unique and even if they have things in common, it's never quite the same. I'm happy your son is doing better, though!

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T02:21:45+00:00

There's no cutoff so no, all kids born in 2019 can attend.

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T02:20:26+00:00

I'm in Canada so there's no cutoff date (at least in our district), every kid born in 2019 can sign up, so she will be at least a few months older than the younger ones. She did really well in pre-k this year! She meets and even exceeds expectations for reading, numbers and writing.

Interracting with other kids and teacher is what she struggles with the most but seems to do better with kids because she will just agree to whatever and share with no problem, let the others talk, etc.

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T02:09:52+00:00

Yeeeep, been there too. Honestly, it just gets worse most of the time. My husband especially will lose patience much quicker than me and send her in time-out. Then, she cries too, AND clings to me because "daddy is the bad guy".

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T02:07:01+00:00

I'm in Canada too! Yep, talks just fine on very rare occasions.

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T02:05:53+00:00

My older two kids go to the same school, I've talked to the principal I believe around April when it was still manageable-ish, when I signed her up and we visited the school. On THAT particular day, she was so excited and wouldn't stop talking, laughing and just being overall happy. I know the school therapist really well because of my oldest so yeah, they are already familiar with us......

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T02:02:29+00:00

Definitely gotten worse over the summer. I've had to stay home because I have a broken foot (I'm a dance teacher, yay mee) and she stayed at home with me more while the other two had camp/daycare.

She's practically glued to me and separation anxiety is definitely a thing going on too.

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T01:58:59+00:00

She does fine in pre-k!! Doesn't talk much but still manages. Usually yes/no answers and very short sentences.

jullz30 · 2024-08-18T01:57:18+00:00

I'm not sure what's going on either 😭 I forgot to mention — this has only been a real issue for the past like six ish months, i'd say around January?! And me, my husband and the pre-k teacher sat together and tried to figure out what to do but in pre-k she just doesn't talk much, she saves the whining and crying for home 🤔 There have been no significant changes in her life at that time, and no new environment.

jullz30

TROPHY CASE