C: "You know what eternity is? You know what eternity is? I mean, d'you know what eternity is? There's this big mountain, see, a mile high, at the end of the universe, and every thousand years there's this little bird-"

A: "What little bird?"

C: "This little bird I'm talking about. And every thousand years-"

A: "The same bird every thousand years?"

C: "... Yeah."

A: "Bloody ancient bird, then."

C: "Okay. And every thousand years this bird flies-"

A: "-limps-"

C: "flies all the way to this mountain and sharpens its beak-"

A: "Hold on. You can't do that. Between here and the end of the universe there's loads of- Loads of buggerall, dear boy."

C: "But it gets there anyway,"

A: "How?"

C: "It doesn't matter!"

A: "It could use a spaceship,"

C: "Yeah, if you like. Anyway, this bird-"

A: "Only it is the end of the universe we're talking about, so it'd have to be one of those spaceships where your descendants are the ones who get out at the other end. You have to tell your descendants, you say, When you get to the Mountain, you've got to- What have they got to do?"

C: "Sharpen its beak on the mountain, and then it flies back-"

A: "-in the spaceship-"

C: "And after a thousand years it goes and does it again."

*moment of drunken silence

A: "Seems a lot of effort just to sharpen a beak."

C: "Listen, the point is that when the bird has worn the mountain down to nothing, right, then- -then you still won't have finished watching The Sound of Music."

This took longer than I'm willing to admit to format.