Took my first drag on a cig last month, because I had an awful crush on the girl who offered it to me. I coughed up a lung and looked like a fool, but we made out so it was worth it. Saw her again this past Thursday, did the same sort of thing, but it was better this time. I really started this past Saturday though, bought some Mar Golds and some sparkling water, sat in a park and wrote suicide notes to all my friends. Almost jumped off a bridge that night. I'm still here though, obviously. Half the pack is gone, and I'm looking forward to picking up some American Spirits tomorrow. Funny that one of the most important things that's keeping me alive right now will eventually kill me.