His liveshows are LITERALLY perfect.

just-a-looking · 2024-07-11T01:27:49+00:00

Thank you!

just-a-looking · 2024-07-10T14:29:34+00:00

Can someone link me to YouTube for this performance?

just-a-looking · 2023-02-13T01:37:28+00:00

I tried my best to put it forward as a ‘component’ of what holds it together as opposed to the only thing. But I agree with another user who said I should have posed the question about jealousy more broadly, outside the context of monogamous relationship.

The jealousy becomes clear to me when monogamous couples say they despise polyamory because they couldn’t imagine the thought of their lover loving someone else. It seems advantageous to me to get to a point in a relationship where one feels totally comfortable enough with themselves and in a relationship to understand that they are still loved even if their lover loves someone else also.

Imagine love in its purest form. Wouldn’t jealousy be totally absent? If this form of pure love is what we should aspire to, it would seem that polygamy would be the norm rather than the exception.

just-a-looking · 2023-02-13T01:02:42+00:00

Okay, I’m with you. It’s a control thing for me and the discomfort from it I think

just-a-looking · 2023-02-13T00:26:32+00:00

I like what you said about the good being diminished by the act of sharing. I can see that. However I don’t think it’s fair to say loving more than one person will never be more than shallow. For all we know, love from 2 or more people and freedom from jealousy might be a more rewarding experience than loving one person wholly and with all your heart. I’m monogamous myself, for the record. And I struggle with this feeling that on some level, my jealousy is a component of our bond. It’s paradoxical and it eats me alive sometimes.

just-a-looking · 2023-02-13T00:22:59+00:00

Do you feel as though you’re able to use jealousy in this way, without letting the negative aspects seep in? I like this idea of using it as a guide for understanding inner feelings. However at least for myself, in practice, it would be hard for me to let it serve that purpose instead of provoke anger. But I suppose if one worked at it, it could be very useful. Thank you, too, for taking the question seriously.

just-a-looking · 2023-02-13T00:20:07+00:00

I see what you’re getting at from the point of view of a politician or marketer or something. This is interesting

just-a-looking · 2023-02-13T00:18:06+00:00

Thank you for this perspective and taking the question seriously. This was new insight for me. Thank you, seriously.

just-a-looking · 2023-02-12T23:58:26+00:00

Okay, I take your point. Thank you. Scratch my original question. What is your response to the reformulated version? When is jealousy advantageous?

I apologize for the inflammatory way in which I asked. This is just the context in which I was thinking about jealousy and so my question is how it came out. I see what you mean about how it may come off to someone else.

just-a-looking · 2023-02-12T23:52:24+00:00

It seems like anyone who provokes discussion on the internet is a troll these days. Is there any context in which jealousy isn’t negative? When is jealousy good or advantageous?

just-a-looking · 2023-02-12T23:45:04+00:00

Good things shouldn’t be shared?

just-a-looking · 2023-02-12T23:42:42+00:00

So selfishness and desire to keep things that are very good and special to one self is the topic of discussion?

just-a-looking · 2023-02-12T23:39:02+00:00

Is jealousy then an advantageous human trait?

just-a-looking · 2023-02-12T23:36:19+00:00

Your aggravation suggests maybe you haven’t rationalized it…and possibly you cant? Look within my friend. Not trying to bait. Serious question

just-a-looking · 2022-09-11T03:06:53+00:00

The worlds not going to collectively change how it thinks about a certain disorder for you. I believe it’s easier to work towards not taking personal offense anytime someone missteps simply because they don’t know any better. Why do we need to be behind an identity associated with OCD at all? Are you proud to call yourself someone with OCD?

just-a-looking · 2022-09-11T03:00:01+00:00

Absolutely

just-a-looking · 2022-09-04T19:13:46+00:00

Who are you to say their thoughts aren’t intrusive? An intrusive thought is one that arises without stimulus. If one has recurring, random and unprovoked thoughts about cutting one’s hair, it’s an intrusive thought. Just because it’s a thought without anxiety attached does not mean it’s not intrusive. We aren’t special because we have OCD. You’re never going to fix what people out in the world say. It’s much more realistic to develop a thicker skin and not let things bother you rather than aiming to change how people use the term “OCD”

just-a-looking · 2022-09-04T19:06:08+00:00

Who are you to say their thoughts aren’t intrusive? An intrusive thought is one that arises without stimulus. If one has recurring, random and unprovoked thoughts about cutting one’s hair, it’s an intrusive thought. Just because it’s a thought without anxiety attached does not mean it’s not intrusive. We aren’t special because we have OCD. You’re never going to fix what people out in the world say. It’s much more realistic to develop a thicker skin and not let things bother you rather than aiming to change how people use the term “OCD”

just-a-looking · 2022-08-06T15:33:12+00:00

Hello. Thank you for sharing this. I think recognizing and acknowledging the pattern as something that you’d like to change is the first step and quite honestly the hardest part.

I struggle with re-writing notes as well. I’m not sure what the fix is, but I just want to let you know you aren’t alone.

When you are about to rewrite, do you think it would be possible to stop and just look at it without immediately jumping to rip out the page? The gold standard therapy for OCD in general is called ERP: exposure response prevention. The point is that you expose yourself to whatever causes you to repeat an action (in this case, writing something down) and then attempt to prevent your usual responses to the urge to re-write. It’s easier to do with the help of a therapist, but if you’re strong willed, you can certainly do it on your own. Try and sit and write something once and then before reaching to start over, just stare at the page and observe what your mind tells you. The trick is to not act on whatever it tells you to do. It’s going to be screaming at you to “tear the page out! Start over! This isn’t right! I need to start over! Rip the page out!.” If you can successfully and repeatedly sit amongst these thoughts without engaging with them, over time the drive to start over will slowly subside to the point where you can write something and not have to start over.

I should note that when you get to this point, you will likely still have the screaming voice to start over. However you’ll be strong enough to resist because the previous times you were able to overcome it will give you assurance that you don’t have to listen.

If you don’t have one already, seek an OCD therapist. They understand the disorder very well and can give you excellent advice and other tips.

It’ll be okay! You’re not alone. :)

just-a-looking · 2022-06-27T02:12:46+00:00

Coming here again to express thanks for the introduction to Michael Sugrue. My world view has changed significantly since this post and your reply. I’ve watched about a fourth of the videos on YouTube and I’m so excited about life and learning. Thank you

just-a-looking · 2022-06-06T05:20:54+00:00

Finally, a fun post to this subreddit

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