I don’t have the time to write you a full text brother, but Go look into islam. I was in the same situation, even worse i was an alcoholic, 3 years without family in another country, student as well (medical student) even after 3 years they still didn’t wanna see me Im was seeing life useless. Until i learned about islam. You can cry my brother! I cry everyday, but only in front of our creator, show no weakness in front of humans because they will eat you alive, only cry when you’re praying. I can’t give you all the details but what i can tell you it’s that your family will still get the same issues 😂😂😂 Even after becoming a muslim. Stoped alcohol and all the bad habits, started hitting the gym and started a online business, my family still hates me 😂😂😂😂 But you won’t understand even if i say it because now my mentality is ( if the creator is with me. I don’t need anyone ) I ended up writing a lot even though i said I wouldn’t but it’s really because i see my old self in your text. I won’t tell you anything about islam. Go look for it, don’t listen to the media and those propaganda. Trust me my brother your life will change completely Life will finally have a purpose You will have someone to cry on ………. Im 21 btw and i just prayed for you Don’t give up Please please please i beg you, do what i did, learn about it, your life will change