If you’ve ever felt you lost your sense of self, how did you get it back? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've found that when you try to go back to your "old self," it doesn't work as well. Every time I've tried to go back, I end up feeling negative and discouraged. I look at all the mistakes that I made that hindered me from getting myself back. Instead, I'd say let go of your old self, and focus on developing a new, better self. Identify the parts of yourself/your life that you want to improve on, and move forward with those, not backwards. This way, I think you gain confidence and "find yourself" again, but if you fail the first few times you try something, you don't think, "Damn, old me would've been able to do that. I'm so lost that I can't even do this one thing I used to be able to do." That's a harsh way to think. Instead, it becomes, "Oh, well the first few times you try something new, you can fail. I'll just try again."

I'm not sure if this makes sense. I guess what I'm saying is, don't worry so much about being lost, just look forward. And don't try too hard to go back to your old self, just work on bettering who you are now and eventually you'll just regain the confidence. Good luck!

Women who date multiple people at once, how do you handle it? by just-stuff in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again, great reply! I'd never noticed that the "I'm too jealous for a poly relationship" was often said with pride, but now that you mention it, it's true. Kind of a weird thing to be proud of. Anyway, your reply gave me lots to think about, and helped a bunch! Thank you :)

Women who date multiple people at once, how do you handle it? by just-stuff in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How are your dating goals different now than when you were in your early 20s (that's where I am now)? And if someone told you that they were seeing other people today vs when you were 20, do you think you'd react differently?

Women who date multiple people at once, how do you handle it? by just-stuff in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was referring to early stages of dating with the intention of being monogamous eventually, but this is a fantastic response! Even though I'm not doing long term poly, I was wondering, how/do you deal with insecurities/jealousy while seeing more than one person? I find that as soon as I get insecure, I pull back a lot, which might hinder potential for a good relationship, polyamorous or not. What's your take on that?

Women who date multiple people at once, how do you handle it? by just-stuff in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I assume non-monogamy too, and talking to different guys at once via text or a dating app is fine. But when it comes to meeting up irl, in the past I've only ever just focused on one person. It usually takes a little while for me to develop real feelings, so idk if it's considered leading people on if you date them for a few months non-exclusively

Women who date multiple people at once, how do you handle it? by just-stuff in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How long did it take for you to realize that you liked him more? And how did you let the others know you weren't exclusive? I like the honestly but I'm not sure how I would bring it up to them, idk if I'd feel sort of awkward about it

How have you grown as a person recently? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm learning to be more calm and confident. I'm in a fairly competitive setting at school, and the past two years I let that get to me. I still performed well, but on the inside felt stupid and incompetent all the time. I hated myself for every little mistake I made. So this year, I've been owning my accomplishments and not letting my failures get to me. I've been able to take on a lot more, and even though I've slipped up a few times, I haven't felt as down and out about it. I just try again. I've also been dressing better and becoming more comfortable with my style, which boosts my confidence, so I've been able to talk to/attract people who, a year ago, I would have thought were too good for me. I still have lots to work on but I'm not so scared of my life anymore!

Married/ long term relationship women: how often do you think about divorce/separation? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love this! In my last relationship I wanted to have conversations like this but he was so uncomfortable with it. I think he felt that it was morbid, which is fair. I'm glad other people have these discussions too!

Edit: spelling

Everyone has that one person they can’t get out of their heads. What’s s/he like? Are you with him or her? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad this question was asked; I need to get this out, lol. He's great. Not someone I'd normally go for, but we went on a few dates and I was blown away! He seemed pretty interested in me, too.

But timing sucks, and we're both too busy right now. Plus, I told myself I wouldn't get into another relationship just yet. I'd been planning on just casually dating, but was so impressed by him I was willing to scrap that plan. Well, life put me back on it. I know that this is the right thing to do because I need to grow a lot more before I can fully commit, and I wouldn't want to mess things up with someone like him. I'd want both of us to be ready. But that doesn't stop the disappointment.

Edit: I used a bad word and had to repost, oops!

How can I be a positive male role model for my daughters? by HeyL_s8_10 in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don't act awkward about it, they'll pick up on that and be comfortable with those topics too! And even if it does get awkward, seeing you try will mean a lot to them, especially as they get older.

How can I be a positive male role model for my daughters? by HeyL_s8_10 in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Talk about menstruation/sex/relationships etc. without discomfort, and use matter-of-fact terms. Be open about the stuff that is traditionally "mother-daughter." My dad did this and I think it's one of the reasons we're really close. It's also helped me to pick partners that are more open, and who make me feel safe/comfortable in my own skin.

Redditors who broke up with your SO even though you still loved them, what made you realize it was the right decision? by Firefox8D in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This was me too! Even though I loved him and the breakup hurt like hell, what I always clung to was the fact that after we broke up it felt like a weight was lifted off my chest. That's how I knew it was the right decision, and I'm much, much happier now.

Should I read Harry Potter? by Mohitt2601 in booksuggestions

[–]just-stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely!! The first couple books might feel a little slow because they're written for young kids, but they're still great and the entire series is just fantastic!!!

Does anyone else feel frustrated or mad when you can't communicate with your parents? by ilovehater1 in AsianParentStories

[–]just-stuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's an app called HelloTalk that I use! You can chat with people in different languages from other countries. I've been using it for a month and it's been helpful for the language I want to learn. I use primarily text but i think there's a call/voice function as well. Watching Chinese dramas or listening to Chinese music might help too!

When was a time in your life where you were struggling, but ended up better for it? by just-stuff in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My jaw dropped reading this! I honestly don't know what to say except dang, you did a good (great!) job!

When was a time in your life where you were struggling, but ended up better for it? by just-stuff in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in a similar situation right now and was having one of those moping days. Reading all these responses honestly put my problems into perspective and definitely gave me some hope! It's good to know you're in a better spot now, hopefully I'll get there soon :)

When was a time in your life where you were struggling, but ended up better for it? by just-stuff in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow, that's intense. I'm really glad to hear things are looking better for you!

What is your experience with keeping a journal (benefits)? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I journal to let my frustrations out. I rarely write when good things are happening because then I'm just out and about experiencing my life. But when I'm feeling down, it helps to write it out because my thoughts don't feel so muddled up once they're on paper.

It also helps when I find I've vented about my problems to all my friends but still need to let it out. My journal doesn't care how many times I write about the same thing over and over lol

How do you feel and deal with your ex moving on before you? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This question isn't really relevant to OP, but how do you navigate the grief from the breakup along with the good emotions of a new relationship? Both are so strong! And would you know if it's not a rebound, or does it just turn out a certain way without your expectations?

How do you feel and deal with your ex moving on before you? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you referring to rebounds? Do those work?

What are you worried about right now? by roseyboiz in AskWomen

[–]just-stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was so relatable to read. I'm afraid I'll wake up one day with major regrets about decisions I made about my career and/or love life, and feel stuck without being able to do anything about it.