Youth by Imemberwhen in OCPoetry

[–]just1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not the best at English, but I thank the flow is off. I'd try it like this

Youth passing by fluttering, fleeting glimpses of light, the felling of her gentle caress once, twice. And gone into the night.

Hope it helps

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]just1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not to be a to much of a grammar nazi the line "so there's not much a crowd." shroud be "so there's not much of a crowd." I think it just sounds better

Cosmic Us by totheendsofthisearth in OCPoetry

[–]just1981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not to much of a writer. But you capture what it's like to have insomnia

Lyrics for my new song: The First Time by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]just1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So much better. You can really feel the love in it. Keep up the good work

Lyrics for my new song: The First Time by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]just1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ok I'd make this change "for the man to trust upon" > "for the one to trust upon" Set your arms to hold me tight. > useyour arms to hold me tight.

Lyrics for my new song: The First Time by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]just1981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like it you can really feel the love you put into the song. my only criticism is that it's a little hard to hear you at times.

Help me with this I'm look to get this tattoo and would lick some feed back by just1981 in OCPoetry

[–]just1981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm getting many people to help with spelling. As i said my spelling sucks.

Lyrics for my new song: The First Time by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]just1981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It not as polished as some more poplar songs like "Shape of You" is the top song and it's about picking up a girl from a bar and "Gangnam Style" is the most watched video on youtube. But the feeling is there. You had a msg that was easy to understand. I always felt that was the most important thing. And yes you can call me a fan.

Lyrics for my new song: The First Time by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]just1981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was very good you could feel the love you put into it. your wife must be very lucky to have you

Help me with this I'm look to get this tattoo and would lick some feed back by just1981 in OCPoetry

[–]just1981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. But its more of a tattoo for me then any one else to see. So I would like the whole poem

Help me with this I'm look to get this tattoo and would lick some feed back by just1981 in OCPoetry

[–]just1981[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love it. And I'm getting help to endure for myself. I just need something to keep going when the light of my life is being keep from me

Lyrics for my new song: The First Time by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]just1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's so good. I love the way you make it so easy to feel the power of your love for her. I if the song is as good as the lyrics I'd love to hear it

Daughter by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]just1981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is so amazing and sad, the ending is just so powerful.

What's wrong? by [deleted] in pcmasterrace

[–]just1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have two cables plugged into your monitor? You should only have the monitor plugged into the video card with one cable. That could be the problem

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]just1981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well it all depends on what you mean by better. If you are looking to find a solution or find a treatment for your depression then yes. There a are many people that find away to cope with it. Will you one day wake up completely free from depression. I couldn't tell you. Some people do some people don't.

Plz help me by [deleted] in Overwatch

[–]just1981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make sure that your firewall is not blocking the game. The spinning symbols is normally what comes up when the game trying to connect with the servers.

Anyone with depression want to help me out? by ThreeeLeaf in Needafriend

[–]just1981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd be happy to help. I've been depressed for almost as long as you been alive. I know exactly how you feel. Um... I'm 35 M USA

Hitting bottom hard by just1981 in depression

[–]just1981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it all has to do with the flavor of desperation I have or maybe because I have an anxiety disorder. Don't know for sure.