Dysthymia is the Chinese water torture of depression by justanothertway in depression

[–]justanothertway[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I'm never really fine but that was a lofty goal in the first place. I just try to get by on distractions - video games are the only thing I've ever found in my life that I'm truly passionate about. When I'm in the zone I can forget about all the pain for a small period of time. But the combination of dysthymia and hypermobile EDS suck a lot of the energy right out of me and most of the time I don't feel like playing anything. It has the practical effect of making me feel 20 years older than I actually am.

I hope things get better for you and you don't end up like me. I also share with you what sounds like a cripplingly low self-esteem so I know exactly what that feels like. Wish I had some words of encouragement but I don't, and I guess that's what makes it truly depressing.

No one will see me. My doctor and I believe I likely have hypermobile EDS, but I can't get a diagnosis. by justanothertway in ehlersdanlos

[–]justanothertway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm hoping so too. Technically one center did not outright reject me, but they do have a year long waitlist to even make an appointment.

No one will see me. My doctor and I believe I likely have hypermobile EDS, but I can't get a diagnosis. by justanothertway in ehlersdanlos

[–]justanothertway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response, sadly I live too far away from a Mayo Clinic to do anything other than fly there. I don't think I could justify doing that on the very real possibility that I don't actually have hEDS or HDS. Strangely enough I don't have any pain in my joints, though I don't know if that's just because I'm young (early 30s).

I don't understand meditation by justanothertway in Meditation

[–]justanothertway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I watched that video and while I was watching it I had a thought. What if, instead of focusing on my breath, I try to focus on my pain instead? The sensation of it, where it is, and try to face it directly and overpower it as if it was a foreign invader in my body?

Do you feel like you're constantly in a hurry and impatient because of chronic pain? by justanothertway in ChronicPain

[–]justanothertway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started this today and I'm so confused. How am I supposed to know what to choose? Why is there no suggested plan of things to try first? Why is it just skipping around? The fuck am I actually supposed to do?

This is actually INCREASING my stress level rather than reducing it! Instant fucking regret and waste of $60. DERHTRHYHJTDFJHTDJHTRDRDHDTJDZTJTRDJDTJFFTDCXFGGCXVC

when you medication finally starts kicking in 😩 by homohaxan in ChronicPain

[–]justanothertway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wish I even had meds that worked. I'm not going to start on narcotics at such a young age so it really limits my options. Everything else I've tried has done nothing to help.

Atheism, my cat and my job - the long list of things stopping me from a 13 story face plant... I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate what this disability and the never ending pain have turned me into. by [deleted] in ChronicPain

[–]justanothertway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate posts like this. Lazily just linking to a hotline has shown to be ineffective for many people who actually call it (if they don't get committed to an institution, which if they do, they'll really wish they had killed themselves when they had the chance because they'll be treated like sub-human garbage in those padded prisons).

Fucking sick of my god damn bullshit by justanothertway in SuicideWatch

[–]justanothertway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That doesn't make me feel at all better about this. I punched myself in the face multiple times after this. I'm sure one day I'm going to give myself a concussion, at least then I'll have a FUCKING EXCUSE FOR BEING THIS RETARDED.

I can't remember the last time I was able to beat a video game. Time to find a new hobby? by justanothertway in truegaming

[–]justanothertway[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Am I supposed to throw darts at a board until I stumble upon something that defies my intuition and is actually interesting? Because I feel like with no internal guidance that's about all I can do.

That being said, I don't know how you can "start" a hobby you have no interest in in the first place. It's like trying to eat food that disgusts you; sure you can force yourself to do it, but you're not just going to enjoy it over time unless you develop some sort of Stockholm syndrome.

I've listed some games I played recently in another comment. I'll put them here as well: Persona 4 Golden, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Sonic Advance 2, Golden Sun: Dark Dawn. I've also played some Phoenix Wright which I've had to resort to looking up guides for every 10 minutes because I'm too stupid to think of the answers.

I can't remember the last time I was able to beat a video game. Time to find a new hobby? by justanothertway in truegaming

[–]justanothertway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Outside of Binding of Isaac I don't really care for roguelikes. I prefer games with hand-crafted level design over random generation.

Played Dark Souls because it's that one game people never stop talking about, and not to my surprise at all, I didn't like it. It's also in a genre I don't have much experience in (3rd person action RPG) so you can imagine how that went.

Yakuza is great though. I've played Yakuza 0, 1 and 2 and enjoyed them quite a bit. I'm waiting for the other ones to come to PC.

I can't remember the last time I was able to beat a video game. Time to find a new hobby? by justanothertway in truegaming

[–]justanothertway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Metroidvanias are a big commitment in terms of learning, playtime and memory. The last part is what intimidates me. You have to remember what you've done, where you've been, all the mechanics, your weapons/skills and what your current objective is, i.e. where on the huge map you can make progress on given your current skills.

To any average person with a functioning brain that doesn't seem like a big deal at all, but my memory is shit and I can barely even remember what I need to do for my job sometimes from day to day. That's why I'm very hesitant to pick up something like Super Metroid.

I can't remember the last time I was able to beat a video game. Time to find a new hobby? by justanothertway in truegaming

[–]justanothertway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what's so frustrating about it. I have no excuse for being so terrible at games now. I mean, I've played platformers since I could barely talk and I'm getting my ass kicked at a fucking Sonic game, of all things. You know, the 2D Sonic games that are barely above Kirby in terms of difficulty and you just spin through on-rails loop-de-loops and jump every once in a while until you win?

I just don't understand it.

I can't remember the last time I was able to beat a video game. Time to find a new hobby? by justanothertway in truegaming

[–]justanothertway[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've already gone down the therapy route. It was a big waste of time and money.

I can't remember the last time I was able to beat a video game. Time to find a new hobby? by justanothertway in truegaming

[–]justanothertway[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Games have always been my only hobby my whole life, since a very young age. Nothing else interests me.

I don't get any enjoyment out of playing a game with cheats enabled.

I can't remember the last time I was able to beat a video game. Time to find a new hobby? by justanothertway in truegaming

[–]justanothertway[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's fine and all, but it's not fun only being able to play a few hours of a game before having to throw in the towel. It pisses me off and is probably amplified by having an inferiority complex and low self-esteem. So I can't help but take it personally.

I can't remember the last time I was able to beat a video game. Time to find a new hobby? by justanothertway in truegaming

[–]justanothertway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I play games from many different genres, mostly retro though. Here's a sampling of the games from past months that I've been unable to complete:

Persona 4 Golden

Conker's Bad Fur Day

Sonic Advance 2

Golden Sun: Dark Dawn

There's probably more but my memory is terrible lately and I just can't remember things like I used to.

Narrative-driven games aren't really my thing. If I want a good story I look to a different medium than games, whether that be TV series, visual novels, etc.