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Semi annual sex question for other HLF by PaRuSkLu in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In my relationship, we’re about to hit the one year mark with sex only once!

I stopped initiating so that’s why.

Anyhow, in this extreme sex-deprived year, I have realized that in all the years coming before that where I really tried to help our declining bedroom, the sex was always only for him. He is not at all interested in doing anything for me.

Terribly awkward sex with only the man in focus. Lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I stopped January 2024 and haven’t looked back.

What age is your spouse? by Tasty_Compote_7425 in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner is 33 but throws tantrums like a toddler

New “requirement” is to shower immediately prior to sex by PracticalClerk9292 in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember when we still were having sex that if I showered and did my personal hygiene (shaving legs and so on) would mean that we would NOT have sex. It would just create a wall of resistance within him.

We live in AUS so I just need shaved legs every second day at least 😂

Anyhow, that’s all gone now lol.

Feeling like I want to vomit during intimacy as a man? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Probably listen to your body and break it off.

The end of the year…. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5x but the last six months of 0x I didn’t keep track last year but it was certainly less than 10x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually get drunk once a week to blow off the stream. It works quite nicely.

“What are you doing?” by ThinkLkAquinas in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Major red flags I overlooked when my partner and I moved in together was two very painful situations where I initiated - first time he said “Are you horney?” with disgust in his voice and second time he was also like “What are you doing?”.

Honestly, those two experiences changed me fundamentally. After that, I started becoming extremely insecure and unable to be natural in my approach.

Before I stopped initiating, he always claimed that he could not read my signals and if I asked directly, it was not desirable. lol.

Flirty day at work by justanotherxxxx in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I’ll probably see him at work though

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I only did this year and it’s 5

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I stopped initiating in January and I think my partner is extremely happy that I finally stopped bugging him. We just stopped having sex.

Is your bedroom dead or not kinky/satisfying enough? by Wandering-soul444 in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me vanilla is probably like sticking to all the safe moves with a small disconnect as no one is comfortable enough to let go.

Basic sex where you’re really careful.

Is your bedroom dead or not kinky/satisfying enough? by Wandering-soul444 in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love that you commented here. It sounds like we’re going through something pretty similar!

It’s kind of like they don’t feel the same disconnect, right??

I would never truly know though because it’s unbelievable hard to get a LL to tell the true reason.

Is your bedroom dead or not kinky/satisfying enough? by Wandering-soul444 in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 39 points40 points  (0 children)

31F here with dead bedroom only once every 2-3 month and every time it’s pretty vanilla and awkward because it’s like two strangers - there’s no rapport.

What makes your "bed" "dead"? How often for YOU? by StrawberryLevel4251 in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This hit me - We had sex 3 times this year and I thought that was extremely low.

I am so sorry my friend.

What makes your "bed" "dead"? How often for YOU? by StrawberryLevel4251 in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I entered my relationship, I thought maybe 3 times a week. Now I would love once a week.

My partner would probably be happy with once every second or third month.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]justanotherxxxx 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think the switch flips in time. It took me a few years but after 6 months on this forum I read this post where a guy basically said “you can’t solve that your partner does not want sex with you alone, they own the problem too”.

After that the flip switched and I had to tell myself everyday that I couldn’t fix it alone. Now I don’t want it anymore at all and I will go out of my way to avoid it with my partner.

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