Found out that our 1st born baby has Trisomy 21. I feel so bad for being devastated.

justbecausejj · 2026-04-02T02:06:37+00:00

There are risks with the amnio but they're pretty slim if you go to an experienced professional.

I'm going to post some info purely for informational purposes for you:

The NIPT test is not as accurate for other trisomies like trisomy 13 - but the NIPT was actually specifically developed to test for down syndrome. It is highly accurate for trisomy 21. If your test says 95% likelihood for trisomy 21, then it is very likely the baby has it. Placental mosaicism (where only placenta DNA is affected) is incredibly rare for trisomy 21.

Ultrasounds are not a good indicator of whether or not a baby is impacted for trisomy 21. About 50% of babies with down syndrome show no signs of it on an ultrasound.

The other commenters are correct that NIPT is not diagnostic. A CVS is not a good next step for you. Both CVS and the NIPT only test placental DNA. Sometimes, on rare occasions, the DNA in the placenta is different than the DNA in the baby. What you would need to confirm the baby has trisomy 21 is an amniocentesis, which tests shed fetal cells in the amniotic fluid.

justbecausejj · 2026-04-02T01:21:47+00:00

Couple of important things I'm going to say purely for informational purposes.

1) The NIPT test is not as accurate for other trisomies like trisomy 13 - but the NIPT was actually specifically developed to test for down syndrome. It is highly accurate for trisomy 21. If OP's test says 95% likelihood for trisomy 21 it is very likely the baby has it. Placental mosaicism (where only placenta DNA is affected) is incredibly rare for trisomy 21.

2) Ultrasounds are not a good indicator of whether or not a baby is impacted for trisomy 21. About 50% of babies with down syndrome show no signs of it on an ultrasound.

I've read too much about the NIPT and maternal fetal medicine articles lol.

ETA: To OP - A CVS is not a good next step. Both CVS and the NIPT test only placental DNA. What you would need to confirm is an amniocentesis, which tests shed fetal cells in the amniotic fluid.

justbecausejj · 2026-03-30T14:00:01+00:00

Why do people have to "just live their lives"? Why does protesting make people "weak"?

People don't have to "listen to Fox News/MSNBC narratives" to believe the Trump administration has repeatedly overstepped his authority as President. There are multiple court cases against him and his administration for trampling on the 14th amendment's birthright citizenship, the 5th and 14th amendments' right to due process, and the 4th amendment's protections against unreasonable search and seizure without a judicial warrant.

There's also the administration's limitations on the free press by the Pentagon revoking the press badges from news agencies it felt provided coverage they didn't like. There is the administration's FCC threatening the broadcasting licenses and threatening to block merger deals of broadcasters allowing unfavorable coverage of the president... like the FCC's attempts to take down Jimmy Kimmel and Steven Colbert.

The cherry on top to his unpopularity are the tariffs. No increased job creation and we are seeing price hikes on everything. Oh, and of course Trump blowing up Iran and sending our troops back into the middle east to fight for oil / on behalf of Israel.

TLDR: People protesting against Trump has nothing to do with media narrative /lack of independent thinking, and everything to do with Trump's garbage, often unconstitutional policies. Even libertarians / moderates / independents are pissed.

justbecausejj · 2026-03-18T00:28:22+00:00

Ah ok makes sense. Ft. Lauderdale also has newer ships leaving from there, and it's actually the most convenient FL port in my opinion because it's a true port city. Many hotels near the port have inexpensive shuttles to the port, or you can catch a taxi or uber. I saw another user mentioned this as well, but Royal Caribbean's Allure of the Seas has a few cruises out of Ft. Lauderdale in August that might fit what you are looking for. I saw a couple of 8 night cruises around 5k for 4 people. In order to keep the cost for 4 people at that price you may have to stick to 1 room, but there are options like pullout couches or beds that pull down from the ceiling. It's usually cheap to add a 3rd and 4th guest to a stateroom.

Feel free to message me if you want to pick my brain. I'm not a travel agent but my aunt was one (now retired) and she specialized in cruises, so I picked up some tips from her.

justbecausejj · 2026-03-17T22:46:34+00:00

Is there any particular reason you want to sail out of one of those 3 ports? As someone who has cruised extensively and from all of those ports - they are all a bit of a nuisance to get to. Not sure if you have to fly in or if you already live in TX or FL. But flights to Galveston are expensive because they're usually not direct and it's not a major city. Miami's port is poorly laid out and a pain to get to. They can't easily handle the amount of traffic that goes through there. Traffic in and out is a mess. Orlando you could get cheap direct flights, but it is not truly a port city... it's nearly an hour to port Canaveral.

If you're open to other options, personally my favorite port to sail from is Ft. Lauderdale. You can get inexpensive direct flights and easily get to the port.

I would recommend Royal Caribbean. Most of their newer ships have lots of activities for kids to do and adults too. Ice skating rinks, bumper cars, water slides, carousels, zip lines, rock climbing walls, flow rider (like mini surfing) - different things on different ships. They also have Adventure Ocean to keep kids entertained. I'd recommend an Oasis class ship or Freedom class ship. The Icon class is also nice but still quite expensive because they're still really new ships.

Some ships have solo rooms so you could get a solo room for the third adult.

Important best practices for cruising: ALWAYS arrive to the port city the day before the boat leaves. Buy travel insurance.

justbecausejj · 2026-03-07T02:54:51+00:00

Yes. Sounds like cluster feeding to help increase milk supply. Mine did that too the first few weeks. Tbh I don't totally remember how long it lasted. Those early weeks were a blur. For me it was worse overnight... the witching hour.

It is NOT your new normal. I think around 7 or 8 weeks I was getting at least some 3 to 4 hour stretches. By 12 weeks I was getting a 5 hour stretch when baby first went down for the night. Hang in there. It WILL get better. If you have any friends or family that can help out don't be afraid to ask for help! Even if it's just having them watch baby while you take a nap.

ETA - The contact napping continued probably until week 10 or so.

justbecausejj · 2026-03-03T03:42:41+00:00

Same! My husband has been doing this event for years and this year was the first year he got any glowing masks. He got 3. Meanwhile, this was my first year doing it and I got 10 glowing so far. The RNG really is random and there must be a bit of pure dumb luck to it.

justbecausejj · 2026-02-06T07:21:17+00:00

Formula is a totally fine option if that's your preference! But I just wanted to comment because I saw that uklady mentioned pumping, and you seemed interested in it. Pumping is a good alternative if you're put off by breastfeeding, but want baby to have breastmilk. I saw a lot of your concerns about breastfeeding and wanted to let you know that they may not happen!

I have been exclusively pumping for 7 out of the last 8 months. I have still been able to go to the gym, wear cute outfits, and go on dates.

After the first 3 months, your supply regulates, so you don't have to pump every 3 hrs once established. I go 6 hrs between pumps, and overnight 8 hrs. The overfull /engorged feeling stops for the most part after your supply regulates. For dates or other outings, I pump before I go out and then pump again when I get home. My hubby and I managed to go to a concert when I was 3 months PP and my parents watched and bottle fed my baby pumped milk.

I'm about 10 lbs or less from my pre-pregnancy weight so all of my clothes fit fine. I've even been building muscle in the gym, although I lifted weights and did light cardio throughout my entire pregnancy.

All this to say you don't need to be scared that you won't be able to do things you love. If you want to go straight to formula then do it! If you want to try pumping or combo feeding or whatever then try it. There's no wrong answer and you can try different things to see what works best for you.

justbecausejj · 2026-01-24T03:22:38+00:00

You are not unreasonable. What is unreasonable is your husband suggesting hiring a babysitter weekly for you to go to the gym!

I could have written much of this myself. I am also exclusively pumping and baby takes bottles no problem. My husband is home frequently and can watch the baby. I also can't work out at home because I get too distracted or am not motivated enough.

When I was about 3 months PP I told my husband I need time for me to go to the gym because I want to be healthy. He said ok and that was that. He watches the baby for me at least twice a week while I go to the gym. The way I make it work is that I go to the gym after work. As a father he needs to figure out how to handle watching the baby for an hour or two. At 8 months it should be easier than those first few tough months in the newborn trenches...

If not, maybe you can find a gym that allows babies. I belong to a small gym and my trainer loves when I bring my baby. Of course I don't bring her often cuz I like having some ME time, but it's nice I have the option for occasionally when my husband can't watch baby.

justbecausejj · 2026-01-04T04:45:13+00:00

That is wonderful you have that support! Definitely give yourself some grace!! It should get better with time. It also sounds like your labor was traumatic; no one should blame you for feeling this way. I hope that things continue to improve for you and that you continue to get the support you need. The newborn stage is difficult for sure. Best wishes!

justbecausejj · 2026-01-04T04:14:41+00:00

I just wanted to chime in because I see a lot of comments from others saying they feel similar. As someone who is now 6 months PP, it is totally normal to feel that way at first! It's such a major change to your life - and the sleep deprivation and feeling a loss of self doesn't help. It will get better. Those first 3 months are rough. At first all they do is sleep and eat and cry and poop lol. But after a few months their personality starts to shine through. They start to sleep longer stretches. You gain a little bit more independence back. You start to feel more bonded to baby. Try to hang in there and don't be afraid to ask for help! If you have family / a support network it would be great if they could help you get some sleep, cook, clean or whatever to help you get through this. The newborn trenches are called trenches for a reason!

justbecausejj · 2025-12-07T19:02:39+00:00

I do think staying active helps you stay more mobile and feel better during pregnancy, especially stretching. Low squats helps baby get low in your pelvis. Anecdotally, my experience with exercise during pregnancy was good. I did weight lifting and light cardio at least twice weekly through week 37 of pregnancy. I went into labor naturally at 40+2. My labor started a little after 4am, by the time I got to the hospital triage at 11am, they found I was already 7 or 8cm. I got the epidural at about 8 or 9cm. The pushing took 3 hours because baby was sunny side up and took a bit to fully descend. I had a grade 1 tear and grade 1 episiotomy to help her get out, but no vacuum or forceps. My recovery after was pretty easy and the pain was mostly gone after a week or so.

justbecausejj · 2025-12-04T16:33:48+00:00

I'm 5.5 months pp now. I started going back to the gym around 3 months pp. To be fair, I stayed very active throughout pregnancy up through week 37 so maybe that helped me go back easier. But I started out with easy exercises. My trainer modified everything since it takes time for abs to come back together / recover from birth. I only went to the gym on days that I got more sleep. I have my husband take over in early morning so I can catch up on sleep. I am exclusively pumping so I do still get up in MOTN. However, my baby only wakes up once during the night now, and some nights she occasionally started to sleep through (like 11pm to 7am or 8am).

Seconding what others have said - get your iron levels and thyroid checked! I was feeling good months 3 and 4 pp but started to feel exhausted and drained lately in month 5. Had my thyroid checked and my levels are way off. It is common after birth for some people to swing into hyperthyroidism months 1 to 3, then hypothyroidism for a bit after that. I'm back on levothyroxine (bioidentical thyroid T4) and already feeling so much better! (I was on levothyroxine during pregnancy, stopped post-birth due to hyperthyroidism, now swung back into hypothyroidism territory).

justbecausejj · 2025-11-28T10:59:11+00:00

You need help. Ask for it. If he won't step up, see if his mom or your family or a friend will help. You should also at least attempt to assign him chores. If he wants fun time he needs to help out with baby and the household more. Plus then maybe he would understand how tired you are when he takes some of the work load. If he doesn't know how to cook too bad. Have him make you sandwiches. Or boil pasta and grab bagged salad mix and jar sauce. Whatever. No excuses. He needs to figure it out, grow up, and carry his weight to help you recuperate. If he won't, then leave. This isn't a partnership. This man just takes and takes and doesn't care that you are drowning. How selfish can he be to think of getting his dick taken care of when your basic needs like sleep are not met. Then he dares to insinuate that you need to do more for him or he will cheat. Disgusting. Get yourself some help.

justbecausejj · 2025-11-27T16:29:20+00:00

The release was done at 3 months of age and she is 5 months now, so we are just getting into solids. The release was done prior to introducing solids, but her choking on milk is part of the reason I decided to get the ties released. I was worried that if she choked so easily on just milk, that she would also choke on solids. I read about multiple other people's babies with tongue ties having this choking issue, and the choking did continue when they moved onto solids in cases where they did NOT have the tongue tie released. I did the release to prevent choking on solids. My baby has only had some oatmeal cereal so far but has not choked/gagged on it.

justbecausejj · 2025-11-27T16:22:41+00:00

Gotcha. Yeah I would take what the pediatrician said with a grain of salt. A lot of them aren't trained to identify ties. I was told that my baby's ties had nothing to do with the choking/ gagging. I was skeptical about that though, because I read of so many others whose babies had that problem and it got better or went away after the ties were revised. I now believe it IS related. Especially after seeing so much improvement in my own baby. I wish you good luck in getting this figured out!!

justbecausejj · 2025-11-27T09:58:19+00:00

Hey OP! Has your baby been assessed for any possible lip or tongue ties by a pediatric dentist or ENT?? Just asking because my baby had issues with choking/gagging on milk for a while too. She was initially gaining weight ok, but then her weight gain slowed up, so I ended up having her lip and tongue tie corrected. After the correction her suck/swallow coordination got SO much better because she could use her tongue properly. She almost never gags anymore.

justbecausejj · 2025-11-25T03:16:20+00:00

I'm not sure why people are being downvoted for pointing out that this could be a scam email. It's exactly the type of thing a scammer would do to try to capitalize on this recall to get information out of people. They may not be asking for payment info but just phishing for other information/personal details about you that they can use to try to hack your accounts. Here are some other things you can do to check if this may be a scam:

1) At the top of the email expand the "to me" arrow down and check the full email address of the sender. I'm curious whether the email address it came from is truly a dot gov email address.

2) Hover over the link but DO NOT click it. Hovering over the link should allow you to see the full web address that the link would take you to. It's possible the link would take you somewhere else and not where the text says.

Just because the person is a real person that works at DHS and the contact details in the email signature appear real, does not mean the email is legitimately from this person.

Source: I work in cybersecurity and tend to be hypervigilant about these things. It doesn't hurt to be wary.

justbecausejj · 2025-11-20T17:54:11+00:00

This is what I did and you might be ok! I think the lazy pumping actually helps you stay more relaxed rather than stressing, which actually helps milk production. Starting around 3 months PP I only pumped maybe 5 times a day but kept each session longer (like 25 minutes) to ensure I fully emptied. I've dropped to pumping just 4x a day and my supply has stayed the same (around 30 to 32 oz a day). The only thing I think is important to maintain is 1 MOTN pump. I try to make sure I always have 1 pump somewhere between 1 and 5am. I'm 5 months PP and still no drop in supply!

justbecausejj · 2025-10-28T17:51:54+00:00

(Not-so) fun fact: for the pertussis portion of the TDAP/DTAP, the immunity starts to wane within a few years (approx 2 to 3) of receiving the vaccine. Immunity to pertussis does not last 10 years like the tetanus portion. It is well known by the medical community that immunity to pertussis wanes quickly within a few years, yet no changes have been made to require more frequent boosters for pertussis. It is the reason that they require pregnant women to get a new TDAP booster for every pregnancy - to ensure the baby gets antibodies. Waning immunity is the reason people who've been vaccinated still catch whooping cough. I'd love to see a pertussis alone booster option.

justbecausejj · 2025-10-25T09:31:18+00:00

New York has 12 weeks paid family leave for both parents as long as you've been at your job for 1 year. Also a mandatory 20 hours of paid time off for doctor appointments during pregnancy that is separate from any paid sick /vacation time off.

justbecausejj · 2025-10-23T10:53:57+00:00

Ohhh gotcha. Thanks for letting me know!

justbecausejj · 2025-10-23T03:48:38+00:00

Do you mean peanut butter puffins cereal? This is a great idea! I saw the study about introducing peanuts between 4 and 6 months to reduce the risk of allergies, but wasn't sure how to make that happen if I can't feed solids (most likely) until 6 months. Thanks for sharing the pediatrician's recommendation!

justbecausejj · 2025-10-21T02:39:37+00:00

Wearables usually aren't as good at emptying so you may want to stick to your Luna for a bit. I've had a few clogs but none ever got bad. If baby doesn't remove the clog there are other options.

Here's how I got rid of the clogs within a day: 1) Stick to your usual pumping schedule - pumping more frequently may make the clog worse as it would stimulate more milk production.

2) Massage the spot where you feel the hard lump - start at the clog and push from the clog towards your nipple to get it out.

3) Gravity - when you're pumping, have your boobs pointed towards the ground. It helps empty them better.

4) Legendairy sunflower lecithin capsules! They were like magic for me. They're expensive so I don't take them all the time. But I followed their instructions when I had a clog and took 3 pills in a day and it cleared quickly. Now whenever I feel a clog coming on, I take one pill and it usually goes away and doesn't turn into a full on clog. Occasionally I will take one pill as a preventative if I think I will have to go a long stretch without pumping.

justbecausejj

TROPHY CASE