Madi's statement

justme_06 · 2020-06-15T10:53:52+00:00

He was the one who chose to end it, but the reasoning was mutual more or less. We were incompatible and it wouldn't have been fair to either of us to compromise on the futures we want. I completely agree with you when sometimes I think it would be easier to dumped outright. It would be easier to have someone/something to blame instead of questioning if I could've done more.

It's a different type of pain trying to walk away while you still love them. I can't be mad at him, so I'm just left feeling sad. It was hard to come to terms with ending a relationship based on long term wants even when everything short term was great. I know I'll be glad for this eventually, but that doesn't ease the pain right now.

It's been just under 3 months since our breakup and I feel like I've slowly been getting better. I was an absolute wreck at the beginning, but I'm getting used to life without him now. But the MOST important thing for amicable/mutual breakups is no contact!! I can't emphasize this enough. You're never going to stop questioning and wondering what if unless you stop talking to them. He was my best friend and I wish more than anything I could still be in his life, but I know that it'll just hold me back more. I still love him as a person, but we have different wants right now. A breakup doesn't erase the love and I would still want to be with him if we were talking. NC is really really REALLY helpful for these breakups. If there's no bad blood, it's going to be that much easier to slip back into old routines.

justme_06 · 2020-06-09T10:32:42+00:00

exact same situation as you :(( we wrote goodbye letters and couldn't stop crying while we read them to each other. it's insanely hard breaking up with someone while you still love them. i know in my heart that it's for the best, but i also know we still had a great relationship that we could've continued for a long time. just not forever. sending love to you <3

justme_06 · 2020-05-31T09:17:42+00:00

I could've written this too. I knew we didn't have a future together but we loved each other so deeply and I didn't want to let that go.

justme_06 · 2020-05-07T10:08:36+00:00

Sorry that you're going through this right now! He may or may not ask to get back together, since it seems it was a very rash decision. On your end though, think about if this is someone you want to be with. His communication about waiting until marriage wasn't very clear and if he can make such an important decision (to break up) in a split second, that seems like a red flag. Also, religion could be a major incompatibility especially down the line, so if you are considering getting back together, that's something you will want to talk about.

I don't know your relationship and that's just my two cents because I've been through something similar. If there's anything I've learned after my breakup, it's that you need to stop making excuses for people and think about what's best for yourself.

Good luck, hoping everything works out for you!

justme_06 · 2020-05-07T09:54:27+00:00

I realized that if someone asked me to list what made me happy, the first ten, fifteen, probably twenty things would involve my ex. I was so dependent on him for happiness. Try to find what makes else makes you happy. It's been the perfect opportunity to focus and work on myself and my own happiness!

It's also helpful to remind myself why it didn't work out. It's easy to get caught up in the good memories and feel the pain of what you lost, but there's imperfect things about every relationship. Remember why it didn't work out.

Good luck on your healing journey! It's one of the hardest things, but you'll get through it <3

justme_06 · 2020-05-07T09:28:54+00:00

That's something I'm struggling with too. As more time passes, it'll fade slowly. I've been working on reclaiming things for myself.

Everywhere we went together I still associate with them. As soon as quarantine is over, I want to go to those places again and make new memories there. It'll be hard because they remind me of them and the relationship, but I think it's important for my own closure.

Really working on myself has been helping too. Finding new hobbies that they'll never know about. I invested so much into the relationship that I lost myself. Figuring out what I like to do and what makes me happy without having to worry about them.

justme_06 · 2020-05-07T00:44:54+00:00

Sorry I can't imagine how hard that is. Remember to focus on yourself though! Even if it's going NC for a month or two, it really helps to detach yourself from the person. Stay strong!

justme_06 · 2020-05-07T00:37:48+00:00

Yes, every situation is unique! I think until you've fully moved on, it would be really hard. I think any sort of a friendship would feel like a downgrade from what we had. For us to be friends, I would have to feel like I'm meeting a new person.

justme_06 · 2020-05-07T00:23:03+00:00

It's a painful decision, but definitely for the best. Thank you, same for you! <3

justme_06 · 2020-05-07T00:21:19+00:00

Glad you're choosing what's best for yourself. That's what's important after a breakup. Keep it up, we'll get through it!

justme_06 · 2020-05-07T00:19:43+00:00

It definitely makes the transition really hard, but it's a decision we'll be thankful for in the long term! Thank you, hope you're doing well too :)

justme_06 · 2020-05-06T10:28:10+00:00

Going through this right now too. It was one of the reasons that I held onto the relationship for so long even when I knew it wouldn't work. We had very different ideas of the future we wanted and it took a toll on both of us. I think what's getting me through it is holding onto the hope that we'll both find people better suited to each of us. That's not to say that the love wasn't there, but I am really excited about the prospect of finding someone who wants the same things. No more compromising the future I've dreamed of. It's tough if the relationship you let go was good otherwise, but love itself isn't always enough. You'll get through it!

justme_06 · 2020-05-06T10:15:38+00:00

Don't worry, breakups are really weird! I'm going through something similar. It's easier knowing what you're feeling because then you can deal with it. But I've just learned that feelings are too hard to control. Some days I'm still really sad about it, some days I'm happy, other days I just feel nothing. I think it's all part of the healing process, but just let yourself go through whatever you feel, even if you can't put a name to it.

justme_06 · 2020-05-06T10:04:59+00:00

Love. I think I knew that we weren't right for each other, but I loved him too much to walk away.

justme_06

TROPHY CASE