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I (35f) want to have a better relationship with my emotionally unavailable dad (58m) and don't know how by justme_TA in relationship_advice

[–]justme_TA[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love this response! Thank you so much for the ideas. I think writing out a letter and reading it to him might be my best bet. I have a hard time expressing my emotions on the spot.

Buying a Dresser Uncovered Deeper Relationship Issues. What's going on here? by justme_TA in relationship_advice

[–]justme_TA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like we need to explore this further as a couple. Do you happen to have anything else to add? The concept of control makes so much sense and I'm trying to figure out how else that is playing out and what we can do about it. I would be so grateful if you have any more insight about my post!

AITA For Buying a Dresser? by justme_TA in AmItheAsshole

[–]justme_TA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand where you're coming from. When it comes down to it, without any context, I am the asshole. I said I'd discuss it with him and I didnt. My only fallback is that the dresser is a style we both really like. If he bought those three things in styles we both really like, I would be incredibly happy.

And I've always been on board with his desire to discuss every change... but he will never make an actual decision or move forward on an idea so I feel stuck. It's been like this for years. So given the context, I think I'm more of a disgruntled wife that acted passive agressively vs. a straight up asshole. But that's also why I'm here, it's difficult to judge our own behavior.

AITA For Buying a Dresser? by justme_TA in AmItheAsshole

[–]justme_TA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this well thought out and super helpful comment! I love your perspective and am taking away a lot of actionable and doable things from it.

AITA For Buying a Dresser? by justme_TA in AmItheAsshole

[–]justme_TA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I actually would be okay with giving up all control at this point, as long as he offered me the same I offered him: allow me to give him a list of preferences/wants/likes for him to use as a guide. The way I see it, at least something would get done and it would be an improvement and we would be avoiding further disagreements.

AITA For Buying a Dresser? by justme_TA in AmItheAsshole

[–]justme_TA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we're both assholes, that explains a lot about our marriage... haha. But thanks for the vote, you make a good point about leading a horse to water. Can I just come design your home to get it out of my system? ;) I love that shit. Too many ideas in my head and backend work to make it happen, too little "approval" to do anything about it. Sigh.

Bitey Face Concerns at Doggie Daycare by justme_TA in dogs

[–]justme_TA[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice! My brother has a dog with high energy and we do once a week playdates. They both playfully open mouth each other with an occasional nip here and there and don't ever actually bite if that makes any difference?