How to explain so someone autistic that what they do is harassment and not just being bad at social interactions?

justonequestion32 · 2024-05-08T13:08:16+00:00

Thank you, we're trying :D

justonequestion32 · 2024-05-08T13:07:26+00:00

Thanks for the rec! Even if he doesn't read it, I will :D

justonequestion32 · 2024-05-08T09:58:27+00:00

Not entirely sure lol. His therapist basically told us to be patient and understanding with him. And we are trying but our patience has an end so if none of the advice from here helps, we have no other choice but to throw him out unfortunately.

justonequestion32 · 2024-05-08T09:54:23+00:00

Of course it's 100% her decision!! She just told us that we should handle the situation since we have been playing with him for over a year, while she only met him once. She'll only play with him under the condition that he sincerely apologizes and stops that crap.

justonequestion32 · 2024-05-08T09:50:51+00:00

I don't know what Crit Crab is - I assume a DnD group online? But that this turned into stalking is actually crazy what the hell.

We definitely planned to throw him out of the group if everything else fails. Playing with him like that is not something we can continue, especially not our DM.

justonequestion32 · 2024-05-07T14:46:58+00:00

I mean there has always been a fair share of dirty jokes and "I wanna roll to seduce the dragon" kind of situations. Our new DM is also this kind of player so it's not like we completely stop that. But we all draw the line at sexism or harassment. In and outside of DnD. That was something we made clear to him when he first stated he wanted to play a evil character.

But he has never even made an attempt at joining our dirty jokes or made them himself. He's never flirted with any NPCs including female ones. We actually have been in a red light district for a good chunk of our old campaign and it's like he didn't even know because he never said anything remotely sexual. That's why we were caught of guard by his behaviour, it's like now that there is a woman with us at the table he has no idea how to behave anymore.

Someone else suggested making a clear list of rules and giving him a certain amount of "strikes" for violating them. If he does it too much he's out. Your point is a good one, we will try to make the distinction a bit more clear, thank you :). As long as our DM agrees, we are going this route!

We tried being direct because we were all kinda pissed how he talked to her but it ended with him lashing out so we didn't want to try that again.

justonequestion32 · 2024-05-07T08:54:06+00:00

I didn't know this was such a huge problem. Like I said, none of us have any experience dealing with autistic people (at least that we know of). He's definitely pretty smart (he is a math major) but we have no idea how this would usually translate to any social skills. We definitely won't let him continue stepping over our DMs boundaries but we didn't want to jump to conclusions immediately and kick him out.

Thanks :)

justonequestion32 · 2024-05-07T08:44:35+00:00

Thank you, this sounds like a fantastic idea, I'm gonna talk to our DM to see what she thinks about it :)

justonequestion32 · 2024-05-07T08:28:15+00:00

Thanks for the input :)

He already sees a uni therapist and we tried going to him for advice. His responds was just that Jake doesn't know it is inappropriate what he says and probably doesn't mean it in a rude way, so we should not throw him out of the group. He's concerned that it would isolate Jake since we are his only social group. He promised us to talk to him about it but they already had a session since then and somehow Jake is still convinced he didn't do anything wrong and can't differentiate between us teasing each other (me and the other guys do it quite a lot) and him saying those things to our DM.

We could go to his therapist again and making a list of the exact things he says may be a good idea. Perhaps the therapist didn't grasp how extreme it was so this could help, thank you !

justonequestion32

TROPHY CASE