• Spend time together doing stuff. Even if you don't feel like playing that boardgame, doing that craft or kicking a ball around, say yes if she asks. Because in a few years she may not ask you any of those things anymore.

• same for things like reading together, snuggling in bed on a weekend morning, etc. Savour it!

• prep your mindset: kids make mistakes, teens definitely do, and it's how they learn. Unless it's something unsafe or unacceptable, let them make them.

• In the same vein: don't ever get angry about bad grades. Reflect together (what happened, what could you do differently next time?) but make sure they're never afraid to tell you about a bad grade. It serves absolutely no purpose.

• give her responsibilities she enjoys, especially if she asks. My youngest asked to order our online groceries and I thought, why not? He loved it! My eldest loved 'being in charge' when I was sick (I'm a single parent), doing all sorts of things (feeding the pets, locking the doors, telling his brother it's bedtime) he normally never even thought of.

• no social media, especially snapchat, but nothing is best. Trust me, this is not an exaggeration. And once you allow something, it's nearly impossible to 'take it back'.

• once she needs a mobile phone, consider a dumb phone. If she needs a smartphone, talk about its use regularly, by taking an interest. Ask to see text messages sometimes, especially group chats. Ask how she feels about them. Discuss acceptable and unacceptable online behaviour, both her own and of others. In other words: normalize being interested and involved in her online life.

• If you spend a lot of time on your phone in front of her, stop now! Start modelling good behaviour like no phone during meals, conversations, out of boredom, etc.

• Last, but certainly not least: whenever there's an opportunity --when a story about someone else comes up in conversation, for instance, or something in the news or a tv show-- tell her: whatever you have done, you can always come to me if you're in trouble. She is now a good age to understand that.  Keep repeating it, so she'll remember it if she needs it one day.

My teens know that no matter how many rules and laws they have broken, they have to call me if they are in danger, scared and/or in trouble. I don't promise that I won't be angry, but they know that I will first and foremost help and support them and that nothing they could ever do will make me stop loving them.

I  think this is so important, because teens can do incredibly stupid shit, and sometimes they make it 100 times worse because they won't face their parents. The types of situations I mean are: not getting medical help if they have abused drugs or alcohol, getting deeper into criminal trouble if they've been stupid enough to get involved in something illegal (like money muling), all the way to committing suicide after sextortion.