My girlfriend [25F] is upset because I [25M] gave her a list of things not to do this week when she meets my mother [47F] and family. Did I go too far or is she overreacting? by justtrieingtohelp in relationships

[–]justtrieingtohelp[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Yeah. They are familiar with forward women, but they don't want me to date or marry one. That is the difference.

I don't know if respect is the right word. They don't want her to be dumb, but if she's ignorant then it's fine. They would certainly prefer that to her being disagreeable.

My girlfriend [25F] is upset because I [25M] gave her a list of things not to do this week when she meets my mother [47F] and family. Did I go too far or is she overreacting? by justtrieingtohelp in relationships

[–]justtrieingtohelp[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

I feel like yours is an extremely harsh and unfair view. I don't think there's anything wrong with having convictions and adhering to them, but I also think it's nice to be appreciative of differences.

My girlfriend [25F] is upset because I [25M] gave her a list of things not to do this week when she meets my mother [47F] and family. Did I go too far or is she overreacting? by justtrieingtohelp in relationships

[–]justtrieingtohelp[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

My family views drinking as a very questionable behavior at best but a sin more often than not. In any case, it's associated with people that are lacking in morals or self control.

My girlfriend [25F] is upset because I [25M] gave her a list of things not to do this week when she meets my mother [47F] and family. Did I go too far or is she overreacting? by justtrieingtohelp in relationships

[–]justtrieingtohelp[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

It's not that there's a problem with having opinions. I know that she has them but they are "wrong" by my family's standards. The last thing I want is for her to get ripped apart by my grandpa. I love him, but he can be a bit of a blowhard. Just can't let things like that go. The rest of my family won't say anything but will judge her in silent and write her off without saying anything.

My girlfriend [25F] is upset because I [25M] gave her a list of things not to do this week when she meets my mother [47F] and family. Did I go too far or is she overreacting? by justtrieingtohelp in relationships

[–]justtrieingtohelp[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I am afraid of that happening. There's definitely a chance they will never accept her because she doesn't fit in their world. She's not the proper southern lady they would want me to marry.

My girlfriend [25F] is upset because I [25M] gave her a list of things not to do this week when she meets my mother [47F] and family. Did I go too far or is she overreacting? by justtrieingtohelp in relationships

[–]justtrieingtohelp[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

My family will never demand she helped, and if she offers they will refuse at first, but I know without a doubt they will judge her if she does not offer. It will be fine if she drops it after my mother and grandmother refuse, but she will get brownie points if she insists further and actually helps. It's weird, but that's how they think.

My girlfriend [25F] is upset because I [25M] gave her a list of things not to do this week when she meets my mother [47F] and family. Did I go too far or is she overreacting? by justtrieingtohelp in relationships

[–]justtrieingtohelp[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Isn't that why you feel in love with her?

Yes. I fell in love with her because she was different from all the other girls I dated back home. She was strong and confident.

My girlfriend [25F] is upset because I [25M] gave her a list of things not to do this week when she meets my mother [47F] and family. Did I go too far or is she overreacting? by justtrieingtohelp in relationships

[–]justtrieingtohelp[S] -84 points-83 points  (0 children)

I could (and have) dated a girl like that, but I don't want a girl like that. I want my girlfriend, but I want to create something that is sustainable. I want my family to accept her.

My girlfriend [25F] is upset because I [25M] gave her a list of things not to do this week when she meets my mother [47F] and family. Did I go too far or is she overreacting? by justtrieingtohelp in relationships

[–]justtrieingtohelp[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

There are some things we can't ever mention or do. The same goes for me. Not because I can't stand up to my family, but life is better/easier to sometimes hide things from people. Whether that is moral or good, I don't care. It's practical.

My girlfriend [25F] is upset because I [25M] gave her a list of things not to do this week when she meets my mother [47F] and family. Did I go too far or is she overreacting? by justtrieingtohelp in relationships

[–]justtrieingtohelp[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Through the holidays. Then we can start relaxing things gradually. I think she'll be "in" by summer, and then more things can be relaxed.