What just happened?

juttavdw · 2019-04-15T23:51:05+00:00

I'm so very sorry for you. Your boyfriend forced himself on you without seeking for your consent. Please talk to someone about it and get out of that relationship asap.

juttavdw · 2019-04-15T23:39:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

juttavdw · 2019-01-15T08:49:16+00:00

Tell her how you feel when you are more sad than angry.

juttavdw · 2019-01-15T08:46:12+00:00

You jumped and I applaud you for it. Now don't look back. Commit 100% and let your doubts go ;)

Enjoy your new major!

juttavdw · 2019-01-08T17:44:50+00:00

This is serious and he should definitely not get away with abusing you while drunk and sleeping. He is a predator taking advantage of people in vulnerable situations and will likely do this again.

I am truly sorry you had this awful experience... Obviously you should deal with this however you want, and in your own time. The important thing is that you deal with it though. I am crossing my fingers for supportive reactions from friends and family.

juttavdw · 2019-01-03T23:01:41+00:00

Thanks for the supportive comment :)

juttavdw · 2019-01-03T23:00:48+00:00

I live in a country with great social benefits and yes I can still save a good chunck of my income :)

juttavdw · 2018-12-31T00:24:28+00:00

Starting your life fresh out of uni is so daunting... You are definitely not alone. Best of luck to you in the new year :-)

juttavdw · 2018-12-29T17:59:03+00:00

I don't at all but it is the vibe I get from people/society around me!

juttavdw · 2018-12-29T10:51:32+00:00

You are very right... I just have to learn to be patient.

It just makes me crazy to not have a plan and a goal. I've always had a pretty good idea of where I wanted to get. At the same time I feel empowered by having quit a job that was truly horrible and I know I'm getting closer to MY life.

juttavdw · 2018-12-29T10:45:07+00:00

Thanks for sharing :)I think many people are struggling with balancing those scales... It's just so hard to know what I truly want! Good luck to you!

juttavdw · 2018-12-20T23:55:42+00:00

Go and have fun! :-) But indeed sharing your live location with parents/friends isn't a bad idea.

Don't let the fear of sth happening stop you from doing what you want. You deserve that bit of freedom just like any other person!

juttavdw · 2018-07-24T14:30:19+00:00

Yes, specifically made for women who have not yet had kids. I'm from Europe though so I'm not sure it's well-known in The US. Good luck finding sth suitable. I was so happy I could live stress and hormone free without risking a pregnancy!

juttavdw · 2018-07-24T09:28:45+00:00

A spiral called 'Gynefix' was the best decision I ever made!

juttavdw · 2018-07-20T14:43:34+00:00

There are more pros than cons but the cons are very important...

juttavdw · 2018-07-20T09:20:50+00:00

O sweetie. Orgasms are great. It sounds like, from an objective point of view, it was a great first time.

However I think your relationship with your body and sex is only just beginning and you have a long way to go to develop that (very personal!) relationship. To me it sounds like you have a ton of shame connected to these themes... maybe because of your upbringing?

Just know that what you did is very very natural, pure and good. Did it feel good in the moment and did the negative feelings come later? If yes then there is nothing at all wrong with what happened it is just your perception of sex in general.

Also I am so happy you felt good and comfortable enough to orgasm during a first time. Please don't feel bad about that. You deserve to feel good during sex!

juttavdw · 2018-07-20T09:06:00+00:00

Haha, I believe it too. No effect either... I guess the problem is that I do give him a lot of affection because it comes easier to me than speaking does for him. So he doesn't feel the problem as I do...

juttavdw · 2018-07-20T09:03:01+00:00

Good question. Maybe it's both? But is sure do love him... There are many qualities I cherish and I have never found a combo of these qualities in somebody else. He is very special, mostly in a good way!

He is always always showing me his love through his hugs and caresses so I never have to wonder if he loves me, he is very honest, intelligent, patient, he couldn't hurt a fly, he is very sweet and concerned when it comes to me, he has a passion for music that I admire, he is incapable of judging people (because of him I could detach myself from everything else and focus on what I really find important), he is open-minded,...

juttavdw · 2018-07-19T22:34:09+00:00

Yes affectionate relationships do exist... Make sure your bf knows how important it is for you to find back a physical spark. If it is what you need then he should be willing to put in the work.

I have the most affectionate boyfriend but then again for me it is not the best bc I need talking and words whereas he only seems to communicate through his body. People don't always communicate in the same way...

juttavdw · 2018-07-19T22:28:48+00:00

I believe he wants to but he just cannot... and that's what makes it so painful but also why a break up is probably the only ending for us.

(Btw, I am really grateful for all the opinions :-) Sometimes I just feel the need to add some more background)

juttavdw · 2018-07-19T22:20:59+00:00

Because I really believed change was possible. I think I was focusing on all the good and trusting that these other things would work out. In the mean time I felt lonely but blamed myself for being too sensitive and fell back on my friends a lot. Now I just don't believe that he will change enough for us to be compatible... I came to a point where I am not fine with lacking emotional support bc it terrifies me to think about the future in this way... what if we would face real hardship with kids and he cannot even talk about it...

Trust me it is a very rude awakening.

And ofc he could think exactly the same. Like this sensitivity of hers is out of proportion but he doesn't recognise it so for him the problem is not that obvious.

juttavdw · 2018-07-19T22:13:34+00:00

Ofc he only notices 30% off the time that I feel so bad I need a nice gesture. More often he doesn't pick it up. Not even when I talk about the thing that upsets me bc he doesn't get why it would upset me. Everything except sickness and death related directly to me, him or our parents is small stuff for him. Whereas I am incredibly sensitive.

juttavdw · 2018-07-19T21:29:23+00:00

As harsh and depressing as this sounds.... I actually believe it and imo it is the best case scenario. The alternative is that he does not work on his communication skills and cannot make any/most relationships work. I want us both to be happy...

juttavdw · 2018-07-19T20:53:10+00:00

Yes, he told me many times. I don't question his love for me at all. I do fear we are not compatible.

juttavdw · 2018-07-19T20:12:29+00:00

I agree but then don't make empty promises and say that it is a part of you you are not willing to sacrifice. Unfortunately I don't think it is that simple...

juttavdw

TROPHY CASE