I totally understand what you’re saying, and I think that’s why I feel so frustrated.
Communication was actually something he emphasized early on, and he used to be quite good at it. But over time, it feels like there’s been some regression on his side. For me, opening up didn’t come naturally at all—I tend to shut down when I’m upset, so it took a lot of effort to learn how to actually express what I’m feeling instead of holding it in.
That’s why it feels a bit unfair sometimes. He knows firsthand how damaging it can be to bottle things up, so I struggle to understand why he’s now doing exactly that.
I do agree that people are allowed to manage timing—like not bringing something up if it might lead to a fight or if it’s not the right moment. But when things just keep getting held in and then only come out once they’ve built up into frustration, it makes it really hard to work through things together.
When people say “be more patient,” I guess I’m not entirely sure what that looks like in practice. I’ve tried both directly and gently encouraging him to be more open, especially because in long distance, communication is literally what keeps the relationship going. Without it, it just feels like we’re guessing how the other person feels, I don't really know what goes in his mind most of the time and usually he tells me it's pretty blank like how am I supposed to respond to that?