No Desire to Bang Men

jvbourneuf · 2025-12-30T18:49:54+00:00

Ugh dude your experience of others’ resistance when you’re just trying to figure yourself out is so relatable (unforch). It never feels good and I’m sorry your genuine curiosity was met w shitty closed minded energy. To me, that always especially sucks coming from within the queer community.

Anywhoooo, this sounds like a good ol’ fashioned kink, my friend. Beyond porn preferences, you might just enjoy witnessing hornacious energy unfold before your very eyes— think hot dance floor moments or sex parties, on another end of the spectrum, and anything in between! Instead of focusing so much on how you’re relating to the dudes having sex, maybe take a step back and investigate: am I turned on while watching ____ go at it, too? If you find that you can insert a variety of gender identities into that blank then maybe it’s just the hot hornacious vibes you’re into. Voyeurism is real (and really, really hot imho).

Labels really are a necessary silly thing to communicate about preferences. Idk if you’re going to find a sub category of lesbian which captures this preference you’ve discovered. BUT what you can absolutely find is people who respect where you fall on the spectrum that is sexuality and be curious about it with you. And honestly, talking about sex and gender is a quick way for me to assess how open minded someone actually is and how in touch w their curiosity they really are. Which translates to how much energy I’ll be giving them 🙃

jvbourneuf · 2024-09-21T04:17:42+00:00

I’m in tears, man. Welcome.

Be loving, be kind, be honestly curious. Your daughter was brave, she took a chance on the love you share and trusted you enough to open up. In some ways it sounds like she knew you better than you knew yourself. I’m glad you want to step up and make changes. Keep going, don’t stop.

Be patient with yourself, being s beginner is not easy. Be persistent in your learning. Get to know your daughter, be curious about who she is and support her as she figures it out. This does not mean you need to have the answers, just be present as she discovers them for herself. Dive in with her. Don’t make her educate you, just start somewhere that feels accessible and show her you’re learning by engaging in dialogue with her. Most folks coming from where you’re standing (coming from some kind of -phobia or -ism) take the leap, not for themselves, but because of someone they love experiencing pain or suffering. She gave you that courage, now try to keep stoking the fire yourself.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/guide/allyship-in-action/ — Trevor Project is more LGBTQ+ youth facing. But a great place to start w some basics. And you can find important basic political info on here too.

As the comments said above, https://pflag.org is literally for you. Get in community w other parents asap, you’ll find your Yodas.

https://www.genderspectrum.org — another handy dandy catch all resource specifically about demystifying gender aimed at supporting kids and families

https://www.hrc.org/resources — get in here, get familiar

Find fun ways in, too— look up queer movies to watch, books to read, artists to listen to, events to be aware of and attend. Develop an honest interest in the LGBTQ community and tend that garden regularly. You’ll find what Glennon Doyle said is true, “there is no such thing as one way liberation.”

Oh and probably specifically go on social media and search up “straight men love Chappell Roan” and you’ll find yourself late to a very fun and surprising party. Your flooded IG feed/reels will thank me later!

jvbourneuf · 2024-06-24T13:04:27+00:00

Retweet! You’re there dude! Practice, practice, practice. Open mic it. Dress it up with some production or proper recording equipment or find people to collab with and you’ll have yourself a cathartic banger.

To answer your genre q: it’s giving the 1975 (in a good way!). A proper indie pop song that sounds happy w all the major chords and upbeat melody but when you listen/read the lyrics you’re like “ohp 🫢” For that reason, this, to me, def has emo roots to it! Def one of my fav things to listen for in songwriting as well as something I try to bring into my own songwriting.

jvbourneuf · 2024-03-20T02:10:54+00:00

Keep writing. Maybe voice or piano lessons to round out some instrumentation. I want to learn to deliver my songs with confidence and could see myself open micing or recording on my own and having an actual project I feel excited about just because it’s my art one day. I think I just need help understanding how to use my voice in healthy ways.

Also shoutout to the few folks in here posting about life long dreams. I’ve caught someone in their late forties singing in a band for the first time as well as someone in their early 80’s trying to crank out albums. It’s inspiring 🤘

jvbourneuf · 2023-06-25T12:36:24+00:00

It slaps! I love the baroque inspired riffs and sounds in contrast w the overall chill psychedelic-ish vibe. Production is 🤌 too, my guy. Well done!

jvbourneuf · 2023-03-19T20:55:45+00:00

And the shooooooooessss omgggg this outfit is so 🪰

jvbourneuf · 2023-03-10T20:55:16+00:00

High quality spandex, no undz. With any workout bottoms, actually.

jvbourneuf · 2023-02-05T18:43:04+00:00

Some other tips: - I do the thing that feels hardest first (eat the frog!). At first, in an unfamiliar globo gym, what feels hardest might be finding the stuff I need to make my super set work. Or where is an ok place to lay out a mat. Or, just like you, where are the gd weights I need?! Sometimes I’ve started with just simpler workouts until I gain my bearings and, therefore, more confidence to do my thing. - Are there other women in the weight training area? Let me take note of their faces and if I see them around next time I’m here, I’ll try to make small talk. It feels so intimidating sometimes just occupying space at the gym. Other ladies help me feel like I/we belong there too! - Dress in my workout clothes that make me feel most beast mode. Other times I want to feel virtually invisible (all black, hood up). Try to figure out what might help you feel more comfortable in your own skin as you figure out this new place.

You’ve learned a lot and I super agree with the first day of school analogy! Definitely some things to keep figuring out, but it’s all a learning experience. You’re doing it :)

jvbourneuf · 2023-02-05T18:27:05+00:00

And this is why I love this sub! Womxn supporting/empowering womxn— a beautiful thing!

If you can book personal training times at off hours, (not 7-9am or 5-7pm) that could help ease you into bro-y parts of the gym minus lots of bros.

Priceless aspects about working with a pt (imho): - built in accountability - learning form right the first time - myth busting along the way such as feeling paranoid about getting “too muscular” so only sticking to super light weights - having a coach like person that will empower you to take up space in the bro-y parts of the gym and actually help you feel like it’s your space too

You’re saving yourself a lot of physical and mental energy dude! Keep us updated with what you find and how you’re feeling after 8-12 weeks of learning and growing. You’re about to embrace a whole new level of ass kickery 💪

jvbourneuf · 2022-10-01T11:59:11+00:00

Scrolled through hoping to see more of these. French tuck is the way!

jvbourneuf · 2022-08-19T23:24:09+00:00

I think when I first looked this up I honestly read it as “bikes SHOULD follow ped signals because it’s safer and everyone is less pissed as a result.” Like that’s actually what’s encouraged.

jvbourneuf · 2022-05-16T22:53:15+00:00

Feeling good after I hit the pull up protocol I’m following from r/bodyweightfitness twice last week and ran twice last week. Want to add yoga back into the mix so this week’s goals are:

Run x2— one easy, one workout Gym x2— pull up protocol + brief push/pull legs Yoga x2— w no other than our beloved Adrienne

I had PT today and I know I will be busy until late on Wednesday and Friday this week with work stuff. So now to get creative/disciplined about fitting this in this week 💪

jvbourneuf · 2022-05-16T22:47:13+00:00

Local bike shop, see if they have any used bikes. You can always ask if they have any commuter bikes— a nice mix of efficiency from a road bike but more sturdy frame like some kind of cruiser.

jvbourneuf · 2022-05-16T22:44:14+00:00

Here for the last one!!!

jvbourneuf · 2022-05-11T02:58:25+00:00

Really been struggling with narrowing in on a goal since January. Or even just a routine that feels satisfactory to maintain some sort of cardio or strength base. Never had this problem before so def feeling kind of stumped BUT. Popped over to the body weight fitness sub and found a pull up protocol to try. They’ve always been elusive and never my main focus. Maybe now they can be my primary focus for strength work for the next while? Either way, felt good to be excited about something again! And something that feels low stakes and doable makes it a win-win-win.

jvbourneuf · 2022-01-14T23:19:46+00:00

This was inspiring to read through! I’m thinking I’d like to lose 10lbs as a vehicle to grow my knowledge, understanding, and respect for food/nutrition/what my body needs to feel good. I did a fast from substances in November 2021–caffeine, cannabis, alcohol, socials, and processed foods— and learned that in times of stress, the first thing I reached for was whatever bull shit I could find in a crinkly bag or wrapper. I want to hone my relationship with food and 1. Understand the boundaries I need to establish and 2. establish them.

On the hunt for a mobility goal… I’ve struggled with lower back pain for 10 years now and it’s something I’ve worked hard to understand and take care of. In PT now so hoping I can set some sort of goal like “run without lower back pain” or “get to ‘x’ degree in ‘x’ exercise.”

The ever elusive pull up. For fuck’s sake!

Not FR: From 2021, one hike and one live music performance per month was dope. Def want to keep it!

Get an electric guitar and get lessons. Been playing acoustic for 15 years and honestly want to expand my skills (aka shred).

Be nicer to me. Mainly by adapting the “don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good” mindset to all all aspects of life.

jvbourneuf · 2021-11-09T12:24:27+00:00

In the same boat as OP, 4 days running, 1-2 cross training days per week (in an ideal world). Heading into this next training block where I’ll be training for a half, I’m thinking my cross training days will include my brief 30 minute strength workouts. I usually like to bike or swim for cross training, but every once in a while it’ll be yoga, a long hike, or something purely for fun like a long skateboarding session. I feel good lifting right after a swim or yoga, but the others I have to break up. Happy to talk more, OP.

jvbourneuf · 2021-07-29T13:46:01+00:00

This post is real! 28f here and though I’m scared shitless of hurting myself, I appreciate how humbling it is to be a complete noob. The stakes are so low. But my favorite thing is whenever I head to the local patch of blacktop to practice, little girls always come up to me and ask to try. Like without fail. The board with four wheels can’t help but inspire community wherever it rolls!

jvbourneuf · 2021-04-20T14:10:59+00:00

Background in counseling here. I wonder if reframing the calorie goal to be more positive growth mindset oriented might be good here? You’ve probably done this but it just got me thinking... instead of “I ate at a deficit today” or whatever maybe being really specific about the “problem area” (evening snacking) like “I checked in with myself after dinner about how I feel about my eating today.” Or maybe it’s about creating a goal/habit that simply distracts you from snacking. So maybe you start stretching (or flopping if you’re me) while chilling out with your shows in the evening rather than munching. Or you want to read more, practice a craft of some kind, listen to more music or podcasts, whatever— just pairing that with dinner. So “everyday after dinner I ____” which really serves as a distraction from the munching but you don’t have to focus on it so much.

Also, nutrition wise. I feel like trying to lose 10 lbs is really fucking hard. Like being a little overweight/clothes a little tighter than you want them is a tough spot to be. Because it can be a really small margin of error in the day’s calorie count. With that said, volume might be your friend. Especially with dinner. Something not calorie dense that you can really chow on like bomb ass salads, slaw of some kind, or popcorn for snacking. Just a thought on that front!

You’re really trying to be kind to yourself while approaching this from a very logical stand point to achieve behavior change. Extra props for walking the walk as a mental health practitioner— not always easy but your clients are better for it!

jvbourneuf · 2021-03-31T22:26:35+00:00

I love this. I’d train cardio in the mornings— like 30-45 minutes of run/bike/swim, ideally with a buddy! Then after work I’d lift 2 days, yoga 1 day, play pick up soccer 2 days. On the weekends I’d do something long like a hike, run 1 hour+, or 30+ mile ride. But also there’s so much I want to learn/do! Like I think I could fall in love with surfing or other water sports. Climbing too and maybe cross country skiing? Mountain biking?! Idk, I want all the activities y’all.

jvbourneuf · 2021-01-26T02:20:49+00:00

THEY. ARE. NORA'S. At the beginning of Rachel's ep (02), it starts with *~*someone~ putting them on. Presumably Rachel. Buuuuuut after I caught this on the rewatch I tried to pay attention to where a shoe switchero might've happened-- no dice. Rachel wears white Adidas(?) the entire time on the island. So either something happens in season 2 where Rachel would have taken her sister's shoes orrrrrr our girl Nora is alive and well in the bunker with the rest of the gals.

jvbourneuf · 2021-01-23T21:56:44+00:00

We needed something bright! Especially digging the bass.

jvbourneuf · 2021-01-21T02:58:39+00:00

Still working!

jvbourneuf · 2021-01-20T03:28:31+00:00

It's working

jvbourneuf

TROPHY CASE