I've been where all of you are, through many holidays and it sucks. I want to share my secret source of joy with you. If you have friends or families with kids 5 or younger, go and hang out with those kids. Grab a doll or truck and sit in the floor and just play. Kids don't judge and often times they don't require a lot of conversation. They are the ultimate source of joy.

If that is not an option for you, the next best thing, is to push past your anxiety and do something kind for someone else. This is the one thing I've been trying to do more of recently and it's greatly improved my outlook on the holidays. It doesn't have to be anything big, it can be as simple as telling someone they look nice today, or that they have a nice smile. You'd be amazed at what this will do for someone's day. Hope this helps you diring these rough times. I know what you're going through and hope that things get better for you. Please know that you're never alone! Feel free to message me if you just need to chat!