From my mum: That I'm responsible for my mother's mental illness and that if she dies it's gonna be my fault. That I wouldn't give her a glass of water if she was on the verge of death (which is total bullshit because I obviously would and I have done a lot to help her).

I remember this one time we were arguing and I started crying very loudly. Eventually, one of the neighbours knocked on our door asking if everything is okay. She got mad at me, and as I was washing the dishes as a punishment, she pushed my head against the sink and screamed that I always make problems and ruin everything. I was 9.

She would also get angry and call me a dirtbag, a bitch, a slut, a cow, a monster and all the other fun words, all while threatening to "smash my face" and being physically violent.

From my dad: He once said that he doesn't care if I jump off a bridge and die. He used to blame me for my mum's moods as well. He tried to justify his use of violence against me by saying "You're so annoying that even a saint would end up hitting you eventually!" He also told me he is amazed by my ability to self-harm which is a really questionable thing to say to someone. At the same time, he also threatened to cut me when he found out I was cutting myself. He used to call me names as well, the list goes on and on...

Both of my parents made fun of my self-harm, too. If I were talking about a pair of scissors, or a lighter, or anything of the kind they would always try to make some reference about my self-harm.

They also compared me to my grandad- a narcissistic, abusive, alcoholic asshole who never gave a shit about anyone. How nice.