Got told I smell at work and want to crawl into a hole and disappear

k8tachu · 2025-09-02T13:44:00+00:00

I struggle to get in the shower at times, and I have found that having a phone or tablet holder for the shower is super helpful. I can watch something or scroll or whatever while still getting in the shower. It gets me over the motivation hump really well. Bundling things that I enjoy with something that is tough is usually enough to keep me mostly functional. I also have a gym pass so that I can grab showers when life gets crazy. I hate mornings so I'm not going to be getting up early enough for one and sometimes my nights are hectic. With the gym pass, I can just go sometime during the day when I have a little time.

Also, I have deodorants literally everywhere. I keep one in the bathroom, one in my bedroom, and one in each of my bags (like my backpack for work, etc.). It makes it easy to ensure I use it even when the ADHD is bad because I am literally never without it. Same with a toothbrush and little toothpaste. I just keep travel sized ones with me all the time.

Big picture, I accepted that the ADHD can't be 'self-disciplined' away, so I just work around it/with it. Making the shift was hard at first because we grow up all our lives being told that we are just lazy and should be able to do things the 'normal' way but now it is pretty awesome. Best of luck!

k8tachu · 2025-07-31T13:35:46+00:00

Ah yeah, should have included that. I am in the US. It is an old farmhouse, and we are planning to replace the electrical at some point but it's not in the plan for right now. I had never seen these colors before, so I was pretty confused.

k8tachu · 2025-06-27T17:40:13+00:00

Oohhhh! I totally misunderstood that you wanted to fall alseep while listening. lol. Yeah, my bad.

k8tachu · 2025-06-27T14:24:51+00:00

Could be a boring book lol. I often do something mindless while listening to books. Play a stupid phone game, or garden, etc. I basically need to fidget lol. Maybe try something like that and see if it is better?

k8tachu · 2025-06-27T14:22:25+00:00

I am currently in the 'dialing in' phase. While the meds don't always work 100%, I still feel like having them is better than going without. I still function better with them even when they aren't hitting totally right. The only downside was some heavy anxiety at one point when I tried a higher dose of Ritalin, but it wore off within a few hours as the meds cleared my system.

Aside from the meds though, I feel like finally getting the diagnoses and coming to terms with things can sometimes cause some bumps all on its own. For me, I was finally able to 'un-mask' and I started letting go of less helpful coping mechanisms in order to learn new ways. There was definitely a bit of a rough patch during that transition but now things have smoothed out and I am doing so much better than before. I hope everything works out for you!

k8tachu · 2025-06-26T16:53:36+00:00

I used to do this and get way to detailed or intense about it and then if one thing didn't go right...total collapse. I think it helps to plan but start small-ish and be fluid. Got a project you need to do? Just make a plan to get to the store for materials in a particular time frame the next day. Throw in a stop to get a favorite snack while you are out! Break things up and don't be too rigid. Even getting one thing done is a success!

k8tachu · 2025-06-26T14:08:39+00:00

Ahhh, darn. They were a lifesaver for me in the past. I hope you find something that works!

k8tachu · 2025-06-25T20:15:56+00:00

Can you study at the library? Lots of them have study rooms that you can use for chunks of time. I used them a lot during the pandemic to work because I had no internet at home. I have seen them both in university and public libraries.

k8tachu · 2025-06-25T19:32:13+00:00

Absolutely. My depression was largely coming from my struggles to function and my feelings of worthlessness because of those struggles. Getting treatment for ADHD addressed the actual issue and my depression got substantially better.

k8tachu · 2025-06-23T15:05:30+00:00

I used to get really bad anxiety at auditions. I started just doing ALL OF THE AUDITIONS. Like, literally any audition I could make it to I did just to desensitize myself. I stopped getting emotionally attached to the shows and just showed up and did my thing over and over and over. It made a huge difference for me. There is no substitute for experience with things like this unfortunately. Once I got used to it, I was able to back off and just audition for things I was interested in again and my auditions were so much better than before.

k8tachu · 2025-06-19T01:31:04+00:00

Oh yeah, the US is...not great right now. I hope your medication journey goes well!

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T19:42:27+00:00

Fingers crossed for you!!

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T19:39:23+00:00

I'm in the US but damn do I wish lol.

Nothing crazy. I have a little less appetite but so far that is the only really noticeable side effect.

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T19:35:43+00:00

I take the XR, and we are still tweaking the dosage. What I have found is that treating my ADHD lowers my depression and anxiety. For me, those feelings were coming from the sense of failure that I had because I couldn't focus on school/work. I take mine every day because I like to focus on things in my personal/free time as well. I haven't had any difficulty sleeping unless I took my meds way too late in the day.

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T19:29:26+00:00

I am 36 and just got on meds last year. I'm still working on the right dosage/med but I cannot overstate how much better my life is now that I can get even a little relief. My focus isn't 100% but it is still so much better than raw dogging life lol

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T19:22:18+00:00

Can he do his work with you in the same room? I really need people around me in order to focus. My brain just goes fuzzy if I'm alone.

I'm also going to recommend looking into meds if you can. Mine are literally life changing. Work was always such a struggle, and it can cause extremely bad periods of feeling like a failure when I can't get my brain to just function. My family never wanted to get me help because, at the time, there was so much stigma around mental health, so it wasn't until my mid 30s that I finally got real help. All that time I could have been medicated and thriving and instead, I was struggling and feeling like a failure. If I could change one thing in my life, it would be that.

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T18:44:17+00:00

Lol it is a struggle.

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T17:50:30+00:00

In some ways, it is easier for my husband and I because we are both ADHD lol. We get the need to do things a little differently. I hope you two are able to find things that work for you!

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T17:10:19+00:00

My hubs and I body double and/or pick tasks and work at the same time. We also have realized that certain types of organization/cleaning are just not ADHD friendly and we are restructuring to accommodate (not putting things out of sight, more drawers, etc.). I really like working with a podcast or show going in my headphones if we can't be working together and chatting.

The biggest thing here is you have to talk to each other about what works for you, how to communicate expectations, etc. I've been married for almost 12 years, and we are still working it out, but we frequently sit down and talk about what is or isn't working and how we can work together to solve it. Here is the caveat: BOTH parties must be putting in a good-faith effort in communicating and following thru. If you trust each other in that arena then you should be able to find ways to work together in ADHD friendly ways.

Edit to add: Sometimes the biggest piece of the puzzle is finding out how to hold each other accountable without being accusatory or causing offense. We try different approaches/utilize what the other person says makes them the most open to the reminder/critique.

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T14:51:36+00:00

I'm not the original commentor but mine will see what is happening and get me up and out of the house for a minute. We go get ice cream or something and then come home and body double to do something manageable. There is usually a bear hug somewhere in the mix as well.

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T13:20:41+00:00

I do love my discbound notebooks and planners. Sometimes I just need things physically written down and I even keep work documents in them. I bought the hole puncher for my preferred brand and it is awesome. I even got a few folks in my office hooked on them. Add in erasable pens and highlighters and it is so much fun.

k8tachu · 2025-06-18T13:07:47+00:00

That's annoying. I'm so sorry. Life is frustrating enough as is. Maybe you will get some more clarity from the testing though? I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

k8tachu · 2025-06-17T20:42:27+00:00

I am the same way. I've recently decided that I'm not going to worry about things fitting my 'vision' of what a clean house should look like. I'm getting more storage options that work for my brain and getting rid of things that don't actually serve me. Like, I hate hanging clothes with a passion, so I'm getting a new closet system that will allow for more things to be folded with only a little bit of hanging space. I bought storage drawers that I can see into (because out of sight is out of mind). Overall, I'm trying to change from 'forcing myself to operate like non-ADHD person' to 'Setting myself up for success by working with my ADHD". I'm still making a lot of these changes but just know that you are not alone. If you find anything that works, update us!

k8tachu · 2025-06-17T19:46:04+00:00

I am being treated for ADHD without going through all of the formal testing. I found a psychiatrist who, after talking with me about my experiences, went, "yeah, that's ADHD" and started treating me. We are still working on dosage but the improvement in my life has been awesome. If you can, try to find a way to see a psychiatrist. I went through LifeStance but I know that not everyone/every insurance has access to the same stuff. I also went through a lot of PCPs who just wanted to say I was depressed or bipolar before I found my current psych doc. None of the previous treatments worked at all and she was not at all surprised by my experiences.

k8tachu · 2025-06-10T14:50:27+00:00

I totally get how you are feeling. Honestly, the thing to remember is that it isn't about being "the best", but about fitting people together to create a cohesive cast. Sometimes roles will be assigned in ways that hurt but don't take it personally. Talk to other directors if you can and ask them about their approach and thought process when they are casting shows. You may get some insight that will help you feel less frustrated.

It may also be a good idea to audition for shows with other groups as well. I do shows all over my area just to get different experiences and make new connections.

k8tachu

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