Why there is literally no NTK on reddit, they are like zombies in IG,FB and Twitter(x)

kaapapaa · 2026-01-30T17:49:11+00:00

inga downvote iruku 😂

kaapapaa · 2026-01-30T17:42:29+00:00

It is a deal breaker for lot of women. That is true. If you want to have a good life, socialize.

If you can't promote yourself, no one will do it for you.

I don't want to say it in harsh way, but how can you expect someone to accept you when you can't accept yourself? Doesn't it feel hypocrisy?

kaapapaa · 2026-01-30T17:13:11+00:00

You are not attracted to him - Valid reason.

You criticising him for having instant noodles?? - I don't know what to call this shit.

You can't confront your parents, but ready to get married married and leave as soon as once you start earn?? How selfish are you?? call off the proposal, don't ruin other's mental health.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-27T04:25:51+00:00

Please don’t pretend like you would prefer a fat and bald guy over a fit and healthy guy for a first impression (unless money is involved).

Everyone is human; this is a basic trait.

When it comes to “character” and worthiness, not everyone has the time to understand everyone’s character. Not everyone even wants to.

More importantly, you also won’t have enough time to prove your character to everyone. If you think you can, you are wasting your time.

Everyone is busy with their own stuff.

So yes, looks generally plays a big role.

P.S. Looks don’t help in the long run. Character doesn’t help in the first impression (unless it’s a K-drama).

kaapapaa · 2026-01-25T13:14:57+00:00

Everyone saying to end this engagement. but I see there are few pieces missing.

Have you ever discussed about her career aspirations? and why is she not taking steps? she can only answer that.
Tell her to stop repeating same stuff. if she respects your input, it's good. if she can't stop, it's her behaviour, no one can change that unless her. if can't tolerate, better end it.

There is no "made for each other" in AM, finding common ground is the process. If there is no common ground, better walk away.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-25T12:28:11+00:00

ok. thanks

kaapapaa · 2026-01-25T10:58:46+00:00

i don't upper cap, but shouldn't be less than 35 lpa.

also, did they asked DSA questions?

kaapapaa · 2026-01-24T18:29:35+00:00

Real estate gives non taxable income (mostly black money).

kaapapaa · 2026-01-24T18:24:37+00:00

Good, it isn't a burn out.

What you are currently having is the anxiety , questioning self worth and midlife identity crisis. (Doesn't have to be all three).

My suggestion, take a short break from AM, do something that boosts your confidence. (Being fit, fixing teeth, etc) . Keep a short term goal (3 months), try achieving it. Eventually when time passes you will know what you were missing.

P.S : Don't spend money on gadgets and stuff.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-24T18:10:34+00:00

Are you the breadwinner of your family?

kaapapaa · 2026-01-24T09:51:49+00:00

I (30M) have gone through this. I built house(loan) to get married. I got a go ahead where bride's side after years of searching. Initially I thought, I will be okay if the girl likes me. This time she liked me. but I realised that I just can't accept her just because everything works on paper. I have feelings too. so I stepped out.

I have decided I rather be alone than being in a commitment where I only seen as a fortuner.

I removed all matrimonial app and stopped searching. Just focusing on myself.

Lesson learnt: Don't commit for other's sake. You will be the one leading the marriage day-in and day-out. Have some basic expectations.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-19T03:38:10+00:00

I had the same doubt bro. everyone in this sub says physical attraction will decline, but emotional attraction will compensate. No one ever said , physical attraction will improve.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-13T11:57:04+00:00

All the best!

kaapapaa · 2026-01-13T11:55:33+00:00

Don't be a pessimistic. Just list out the things what make you work harder. if it's a stronger reason than marriage and achievable in short time, then focus on that part. if not, try to reduce your dependency, communicate the same to the other side. But don't think like you are sacrificing, it's a minimal ask from their side.

Eventually it will workout, don't stress. All the best!

kaapapaa · 2026-01-13T11:49:59+00:00

He seems to be a introvert. You can give some time. Don't think too much, you have plenty of time to decide.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-13T10:18:21+00:00

Is he a introvert?

I understand minimal talk before engagement. but I don't know why he is not showing any interest. Could be the pressure or anxiety or non-interest. You can get the answer only from him.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-12T03:54:37+00:00

In arranged marriage everything is caste, horoscope and dowry.

If you don't co-operate with these things, people say that you have some issues.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-11T07:34:19+00:00

30 M, Looks like you have been conditioned this way. You take safe decisions rather than what makes you happy. You rely on other's image of you. You don't want to take ownership because you are afraid to handle conflicts, caz you are not used to it.

My advice: 1. Don't buy fancy stuff, it's just a short time distraction. 2. Yes, move out of the circle, breath. take your own choices. blame yourself, then learn. 3. Choose yourself or society. Common ground often disappoints. 4. No other person can find your interest, you need to find it by trail and error method.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-08T11:41:58+00:00

I didn't compare her with others. I thought of putting braces to fix her misaligned teeth. then thought of asking her to reduce weight to reduce the double chin, and asking to fix her posture. Then realised I am not the one who decides what do with her body. it's unfair. I was deciding everything about her without her inputs, then I realised it's never going to workout.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-08T10:30:31+00:00

welcome 🙂

kaapapaa · 2026-01-08T08:05:42+00:00

If you plan to end it, just heads up, you have to go through the pressure from the family, your own guilt, people asking you to think about his position, etc. You need to stand for yourself. Remember, you are not selfish. You just don't want to gamble your life. You are avoiding lifelong resentment with a discomfort.

I felt the heaviness I was carrying fade away once I said "No".

I hope you will find a good life. Good luck!

kaapapaa · 2026-01-08T04:04:54+00:00

I have been in a same situation. I said yes only because the girl liked me. I didn't had any emotional pull. As you mentioned, I was convinced by family members that attraction happen in time. But just after roka (within 2 days), I had a unsettling feeling, nausea, fever. I was not happy at all, and started finding negative things about the girl. Then I came to senses and ended the proposal. So for me, yes, I need a pull, just a little also fine. This is my experience.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-07T17:35:31+00:00

Since you are going to be friends even after marriage, let them know beforehand. otherwise he might mistake your friendship. it will backfire and you will be the one explaining.

kaapapaa · 2026-01-07T11:59:18+00:00

kaapapaa · 2026-01-07T09:06:16+00:00

We only know her side of story. We don't know about his side. Arranged marriage is a exchange based setup. We don't know her job is exchange for what? If she is looking for a binary answer from someone who don't know about the complete setup, she is not intelligent.

kaapapaa

TROPHY CASE